The BEST people here are the people who know how to joke and be sarcastic and not take life too seriously!!

the worst thing about being single is waking up most mornings with no one to blow!!!

I have a vag AND I just made homemade cookies. Tell me again why I'm not taken?

Your penis looks very small next to your gigantic ego.

Is it okay to put "I can vacuum seal a cock with my lips" on my resume? Well I just did, hope I get the job.

I love that I can close my eyes at night and sleep.....knowing that I haven't intentionally set out to hurt anyone or be dishonest...

Heavy metal isn't destroying the country, lame sorry ass politicians are doing that just fine all on their own!!!
I want a 50 star tweet!

If the only thing you can find to talk about is how fat you are or aren't.....get a life, or get a ho-ho, but shut the fuck up!

I'm only going to RT people I want to see naked, today.

My signature move is just being fucking awesome.

I just drank a Red Bull and crushed the can doing kegels.... Now everything has wings, bitch!! Batter up!!

Naughty girls need the most love.

If you RT anything of mine today, it must mean you want to see ME naked...because DUH!!

If you have time to RT perverted sexual crap you have time to RT something for a GOOD cause!!! #Autism! Spread the word for this cause!!!

Compassion. Try it. You could be the shining star to make someone else's day brighter!

This is the only place where our neurosis are rewarded with stars.

The great thing about Twitter is you win some, you lose some....but the ones who stick with you...they're worth it. Quality not quantity.

Loyalty is something you don't take for granted. If people do nice things for you, thank them. Sometimes a simple thank you is all we need.

Women who will tell all and show it all are a dime a dozen....a woman with standards and self-esteem (and confidence) ... priceless~~!!

I don't do the duck face, I do a really memorable fuck face, however.