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You're my favorite asshole. Don't fuck it up.
When someone says "everything happens for a reason," I stab them and laugh, just so they know I understand.
Go on with your bad self.
JUST. GO. THE. FUCK. ON.
-A Cunt Story
Don't carry a grudge. They're heavy. You'll fuck up your back.
Today looks like a really nice day for a homicide.
I have a cartoon avi.
You have 35 filters.
Fine: Code for fuck off.
If you can make me laugh without drugs and alcohol. I will think that you're forever hot.
In light of recent events, I have broken my filter. I will not likely have it fixed.
Hahahahaha twitter whores, Just ha fucking ha.
Never use profanity. Unless you live on the East Coast. Where it is considered punctuation and shit.
Marry them when they're nothing so they can divorce you when they're everything.
You don't miss them. You miss the person you thought they were.
If you have an eating disorder you can afford bonus features.
An astronaut squirrel, a snail that meows, crab with a whale as a daughter. Dear creators of spongebob, pass the drugs.
I've been stomping on the cracks for years and nothing. Not even a limp.
When you shine, everyone wants to be in your light.
Him: Are you bipolar?
Me: Nope, just a cunt.
Really good guesser, pop-up and picture book enthusiast. Music is my religion.