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Your real friends in life are the ones you made before your parents fucked you up.
Music is my favorite pain killer.
Don't carry a grudge. They're heavy. You'll fuck up your back.
Contrary to popular belief, I'm really fucking happy, I'm sorry you're not.
Your real relationship is with the Internet, have fun with that motherfucker ❤️.
Today looks like a beautiful day to choke out the ex.
I've taken so many drugs today, my mouth is drier than a Nun's cunt.
Some people would be better off dead.
Our dogs were Walmart greeters in a previous life.
Its not the truth that hurts. Its the pain of pulling your head out of your ass and being blinded by the light of day.
My day is complete.. a trifecta of cunts.
"Takes one to know one."
Karma presents itself at the oddest times. The universe never forgets.
FACEBOOK: Full of pretentious idiots. TWITTER: Full of people Googling pretentious.
Say what you mean or you'll get what you don't want.
Tripping over words one syllable at a time.
The calming silence of loud music.
You're my favorite asshole. Don't fuck it up.
You can be a whore without tweeting about it.
Really good guesser, pop-up and picture book enthusiast. Music is my religion. My mother is still an asshole.
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