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Sometimes I like to wear my sunglasses around the house. To get the feeling like I may've went somewhere that required them. Like outside...
I don't care that we have "32 mutual friends". I still remember you as the sketchy douchebag from high school...
I'll never understand why Catwoman is "sexy", but Cat Lady is "crazy"...
Life is like that love song you think is really sweet until you realize it's about Jesus.
You mean I can ignore people AND listen to music at the same time? Thanks, headphones! :D
Isn't it awesome how when you meet someone exactly like you, you either kind of hate them or totally hate them?
Grandma's Words of Wisdom: "Salt's bad for ya and all men are assholes."
I've never taken a shit while wearing sunglasses... But I bet it feels awesome.
Wow. I've actually been spending time away from the computer! ... To play videogames. I'm movin' up in the world...
I wonder if I can somehow work the titles of the lists I've been added to on Twitter into my resume
Look, I'm not trying to out-do you, here. Can't we just agree that we both have problems and mine aren't worse than yours? And vice versa?
I feel like I'll never be grown up enough to have a mature-sounding email address.
I'm constantly surprised by how surprised other people are.
I don't like anybody nearly as much as I want them to like me.
Life is an inside joke.
Whenever my friends meet my parents I'm always worried they'll like each other more than they like me and cut me out of the group.
All old people use the same kind of soap.
Loving me is easy. It's being loved by me that'll fuck your shit up.
Never stalk someone online unless you're prepared to deal with what you see. Betrayed hope. Shattered dreams. Unsolicited porn...
Life is like a box of chocolates... If I don't get a piece of paper telling me what everything is then I'm totally lost.
Music slob, beer snob, enthusiastic drinker, avid thinker, shoe-hater, growing up sooner or later but not yet. Queen of this city without ever leaving the house