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  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    @xboxsupport i accidtnly shot a man in GTA are you able to see if he is ok? he was wearing a red shirt and i shot him with a rocket launcher

    • 5,603
    • FAVS
    CedenoArielSamMaclennan12NMRspecalarmclocknoiseLady_Kenz_tawniejedmondnJeremy_Adkins1
    • 5,713
    • RETWEETS
    TylerSAdamsisobelrootNMRspecafakeefeJoseDreigonLady_KenztheofficialmilfShufflejoy
    _wangwegrumpysalmoninmynewskin
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what

    • 5,018
    • FAVS
    trvrplkmj_cIarkBounse44WildeThingyBigFizzMandingoturdvolcanola_la_la_LOLINGoingHard_inger
    • 4,131
    • RETWEETS
    evnbrschnicpfldnotnotlukeCommanderFredchichonchoASAPBullwinkleItzaGEEthingsatchgod
    badtweetinglil_aracuanlanyardiganjonnysunMaryKoCohottubpee
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    "NO NO NO NO" - the guy who invented folding chairs watching a wrestling match

    • 4,274
    • FAVS
    K7G4P11RPR5NTJordanMellottzbhowellwizardsleev3sOfficial_Dybbukninthparallelstalesmcgalesss
    • 2,492
    • RETWEETS
    Stuu_GrahamLouzer___elMOSSYOwizardsleev3sPsyprus_Sunjpleasant4JosDebesteCharlie_A_Leigh
    PaperWashinmynewskinrobfeesmickable
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    fool me once thats enough of times for fooling me and i dont really enjoy it. Thanks

    • 3,045
    • FAVS
    BaconHuffericecold_jordanonehalfhuman_mj_cIarkeriin_andersonWildeThingysandboxtoysmeemps
    • 2,038
    • RETWEETS
    ZedKamuzuonehalfhuman_RyanBermudezchichonchogenrebegoodeMyles_Lobdellmcgee_gorgo2house2fly
    loveletterbombsMaryKoCoradiomaru
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    u know how sum people get amnesia well i got opposite amnesia i remember everything ask me what i ate this morning. breakfast next question

    • 2,845
    • FAVS
    diesel_dan_iamjoekovacsSwirth09clmarchialexicratesLetdownLizzieschroyzeejuliette_beez
    • 1,980
    • RETWEETS
    evnbrschniafakeefeiamjoekovacsthat_doughboynotnotlukeLetdownLizzieschroyzeeRyanCordell4322
    _Jim_Fearmojo_caDankHerbMulletbn2bQVTDrThanatos
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    you gotta turn your phone off when you fly in case an old plane text you and your new plane get jealous

    • 2,352
    • FAVS
    rts94hanssolo95erinkayburnsj_reveraAlcrowldabestJosephPraggMPHDmusicLeeBTweets
    • 1,643
    • RETWEETS
    faiiphatevnbrschnieviestothertitsafiqLiterallySimonJosephPraggSofiaAddamsboston_lynn
    hottubpeeAceMakesWordslil_aracuanbn2brobdelaneylaineydiamond____
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    hi son like my backwards hat? how bout that gerfald he sure eat a lasagna that cant be good for her. anyways bye *rollerblades away*

    • 2,660
    • FAVS
    HypeCanineDominicLe_Hairfelixpotvinthat_doughboyKonradnySteezyGreegzleemcdoleSea_Giraffe1
    • 1,322
    • RETWEETS
    LetdownLizziejillianmary_mBeEZlemonSqzydrewskiedwardsbrowntown_xpresfunkylasagnayouturnmejonRealAdultPerson
    cryotunalazy_joe_goodpowerful__jake_likes_napsMaryKoCoingmarbirdmanactualjellyfishabigfatidiotsenderblock23BikiniBabeLover
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    "carlos did u put youre shoes on the right feets today" YES DAD LEFT AND RIGHT "on YOUr feet son?" ..DAD THIS IS THE WRONGEST I EVER GOT IT

    • 2,498
    • FAVS
    yopopodawnjerdenbillDeusExJuiceonehalfhuman_LetdownLizzieJoughStrixoranmackechniejoshuasomething
    • 1,419
    • RETWEETS
    DeusExJuiceJoughStrixCommanderFredchichonchojoshuasomethinglayrudoavailtonyTrewball
    crylenolmathsnailloafbro__________UsedTurtlejonnysunloveletterbombsactualjellyfishBreterbiesvxlk
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didnt win that coach would feel stupid

    • 2,126
    • FAVS
    ThatJunkyardCatlemichiiiiMatt_Haileymadsports66kkeith49ColonelCyclonexmartywilliamsxMarkZeihen
    • 1,583
    • RETWEETS
    Ryan_Schurrjillian_turianoFeistyLetikkeith49SoXviciousTonyRoedemafalconerflightyrisaurus
    Drew4484chrisjoonior
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    space is stuped if im wanted to go somewhere where i cant breathe i would just stand next to a girl

    • 2,245
    • FAVS
    hellofawedgieMacKileystefispiceMelizardsjoshuasomethingbrooksbromleykebnBenjyHimmel
    • 1,376
    • RETWEETS
    MacKileyonehalfhuman_notnotlukeCommanderFredchichonchojoshuasomethingkebnsoltysj
    neatdeerfortunemochamojo_caKKAlThaniemirkr
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    hey honey check out this powerpoint i made of my moodswings *flips open laptop so hard it smash into the wall* MAYBE LATER!!!

    • 1,968
    • FAVS
    MacKileymj_cIarkturnoffthissongforyoublue94william__hallonehalfhuman_nikotinkomasjhsn
    • 1,192
    • RETWEETS
    mhartg1giventofly41IsacCederquistehlertadamkevlarsoul_hey_nikeFilippaHjsoysson
    KalarlisMaryKoCogreenteam15
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    yeah i got a gym membership. its called life. watch me lift this big ass rock. now im gonna do 20 reps of pretending im a beautiful bird

    • 1,562
    • FAVS
    iamjoekovacsonehalfhuman_LetdownLizziebrooksbromleyapopagasmlikedadsaysBrian_HennessyHowMuchForGoat
    • 1,037
    • RETWEETS
    ambocclusiononehalfhuman_LetdownLizzieVansantcstraypenguinJorts_Michaelkrishna_vanMyNameIsJakeMan__
    someofmybestvinceness
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    forgot my ipod so im just beatboxing on the bus.driver is breakdancing in the aisle. bus is going crazy right now we havent moved in 2 hours

    • 1,612
    • FAVS
    RileySchelfhoutfelixpotvinfr0ncinecrater_killerhaneurghkait_ocpicoferaltweetnotnat
    • 835
    • RETWEETS
    brenemptyEtherealAppleDavement_rxvxllhaneurghpicoferalDandyLeahFerrous_Bueller
    RowdySailboatMrHeliotrope
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    im not here to make friends! - me at the zoo telling a lie lol

    • 1,509
    • FAVS
    MacKileyLetdownLizzieZachHaldjawbrokenblauralumerintergalacticcakell09KyleJLankford
    • 914
    • RETWEETS
    MacKileyLetdownLizzieTriHugsasthmatticandrefmtBrahmbearMowindatidalbulges
    A_Jahhvasedgod
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    if u get intimidatied by someone just think EVERY1 goes to bed at night and put a blanket over themself so they dont get to cold!!! Aw

    • 1,393
    • FAVS
    reneeribzMacKileyLetdownLizzieeregan1421brooksbromleyscary_plantsicedvanillachaigoffkid
    • 913
    • RETWEETS
    andrejoenssonMacKileybryanstevensjaxlroseLetdownLizziepale_hamsterlaaceyskyeechuckybaby5
    MaryKoCo
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    fellas i like to sit on my hand so it goes numb then it feel like someone else is wiping my tears away

    • 1,157
    • FAVS
    alexisgmmBenjyHimmelnishadtrivediwealwardcoolwebsiteuserkrishna_vanJakeJohnNolanlittle__ally
    • 764
    • RETWEETS
    robertcinnamonandrejoenssonbrooksbromleyJorts_MichaelSkeezyDeezysnow_vanEstebandagreat_CursedTea
    earfdae
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    when i was just born the doctor took me in his big strong arms and thats when i knew for sure i was gay as hell

    • 1,288
    • FAVS
    LetdownLizzieoranmackechnieapopagasmSilasEganDiscourse_coolwebsiteuserDionPloegkrishna_van
    • 610
    • RETWEETS
    SilasEganSynthJonahDaggetoMyNameIsJakeMan__jorD_hi_lDlOT_genuphobia__pilIowpet
    Hermit_Thrush
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    Warning: password is case sensitive. password i think ur case is cute dont woorry so much

    • 1,055
    • FAVS
    alexisgmmLetdownLizziesoltysjcoolwebsiteusernishadtrivedikrishna_vansambail_SweetPatoot
    • 816
    • RETWEETS
    J_OHHHHHsoltysjkrishna_vanCidCammisnow_vanshutupheavwhatsgluten______lasertron
    RedJakiBlueNoPattern
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    dinners READY! *i stab a hole in bottom of cornflakes box, 5 kids crawl in like spiders jostling for floor cereal i dont even know 2 of them

    • 1,191
    • FAVS
    dcliffhuxtableaylerrEMacKileytbhoveritNMRspecTheRealZackAyenbethjbrearleyNotActuallyJake
    • 598
    • RETWEETS
    BriRachellNMRspecdjxscribblesTheRealZackAyenHarryCreffieldchristineyyyleeim_puppycatcrouton_futon
    Lindzetaiandury007
  • famouscrab
      famouscarb @famouscrab

    i want to be as cool as elvis his catch phrase was thank you very much. thats probably the coolest thing i ve ever heard

    • 1,214
    • FAVS
    boner_fortre55SissiSayashchachaaBeadles_Needlesdsherb002thebirdsaysgregrustymharper3323
    • 505
    • RETWEETS
    ashchachaaItsYourLifeShopG_Koko_allthatisbeccaWildeThingyjessylee03MaxterballJorts_Michael
    MaryKoCocryotuna
@famouscrab

@famouscrab

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