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  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    @xboxsupport i accidtnly shot a man in GTA are you able to see if he is ok? he was wearing a red shirt and i shot him with a rocket launcher

    • 5,615
    • FAVS
    timothymrBecks_fosterBitchyAndGayKevinOakes400sydneylakowskyKaylaMagacatieidkkimmywarrington
    • 5,717
    • RETWEETS
    trainawreckJackiBarrettsirimckenzieKRayMillerKari_SheenJoel_Silva94dollswardLilyxye
    Donnie_Fairburnjake_likes_naps_wangwegrumpysalmoninmynewskin
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    "NO NO NO NO" - the guy who invented folding chairs watching a wrestling match

    • 6,350
    • FAVS
    famoushorseJamesBarrettssamiwertastoldbyalex_courtney_bre_kristybeelulacavilatimothymr
    • 3,675
    • RETWEETS
    famoushorseJamesBarrettswolbarefootlulacavilatimadigwe_36staygoldboyoShirouSaberamyscism
    PaperWashinmynewskinrobfeesmickable
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what

    • 5,028
    • FAVS
    schmidtshmatsarcasm_incle_bunsrachelpalazinipendergast22shanopovapopdianadunstan__autolatry
    • 4,134
    • RETWEETS
    schmidtshmat__the_lamestj_bridgeependergast22beckyamcdermott_QueenE2_69shadesoftaar__BrookeAshley
    Benesh_lil_aracuanlanyardiganjonnysunMaryKoCohottubpee
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    fool me once thats enough of times for fooling me and i dont really enjoy it. Thanks

    • 3,052
    • FAVS
    __the_lamestshanopovapopnulljoshDillDoesKelsey_gober_mah_usernamed_brainwavedrochacho
    • 2,041
    • RETWEETS
    _mah_usernamezwhalezHarKrunchdrochachofaustoiEmaSlemaJoshJDeepolitik05
    loveletterbombsMaryKoCoradiomaru
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    u know how sum people get amnesia well i got opposite amnesia i remember everything ask me what i ate this morning. breakfast next question

    • 2,972
    • FAVS
    wtfbelastopStTabithajealousofyouSammerChipmunkRileyLivelyskylerhanrathelzmnstrAlenaChek
    • 1,999
    • RETWEETS
    alexxa_raeeeAlenaChekLittleMyra05maxfuckeryJohnHeath117emilyayseToshvahLynchAbigail
    _Jim_Fearmojo_caDankHerbMulletbn2bQVTDrThanatos
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didnt win that coach would feel stupid

    • 2,677
    • FAVS
    j_donovinpastramilandEmlye613DylanJTScottNathanielArrrLevendowichgleamessMeganSearl
    • 1,952
    • RETWEETS
    missloganmarieRachel_PalmourUCLAandHobbitsNathanielArrrlindamood34emmjbeeTheGeneral937ZeppoWilbury
    Drew4484chrisjoonior
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    space is stuped if im wanted to go somewhere where i cant breathe i would just stand next to a girl

    • 2,634
    • FAVS
    Ibn_Rayehshanopovapopabsbestosthuginmeisyoucody_as_heckRowLowBowailisofspadesSound_Dept
    • 1,572
    • RETWEETS
    sarahhslutcody_as_hecktaylordoanutBlakeTReynoldsspookybuttsAussie_Emeraldsthegreatleapmmulahh
    neatdeerMOCHA_LAKEmojo_caKKAlThaniemirkr
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    hi son like my backwards hat? how bout that gerfald he sure eat a lasagna that cant be good for her. anyways bye *rollerblades away*

    • 2,829
    • FAVS
    shanopovapopnulljoshchampiozinkyrumnogginternetlukeChrisBramall1iaalexeeff
    • 1,377
    • RETWEETS
    ESThaYungKisserDjPattieJchampiozIOwnAMethLabBenjyHimmellaricholascagefredpeacocksbrando_smith
    cryotunalazy_joe_goodpowerful__jake_likes_napsMaryKoCoingmarbirdmanactualjellyfishabigfatidiotsenderblock23BikiniBabeLover
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    you gotta turn your phone off when you fly in case an old plane text you and your new plane get jealous

    • 2,448
    • FAVS
    timothymrMartineMadsene_Jade_cshanopovapopnulljoshmottledmoonsaadia_mebchourusualjess
    • 1,687
    • RETWEETS
    themackerntiedyecloudnotactuallyzachBeccaTOBakersaadia_mebchourkurtvonnebuttfrick_jerrybradcesanek
    hottubpeeAceMakesWordslil_aracuanbn2brobdelaneylaineydiamond____
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    "carlos did u put youre shoes on the right feets today" YES DAD LEFT AND RIGHT "on YOUr feet son?" ..DAD THIS IS THE WRONGEST I EVER GOT IT

    • 2,516
    • FAVS
    thimbleweedstimothymrCHolton14TimLanningImNotAPedophilenulljosh_FE2O3Laxita2688
    • 1,419
    • RETWEETS
    nullvoidsImNotAPedophilemaxhasthoughtshugggmeeeeeLaxita2688lavellansironisktvitandrejoensson
    crylenolmathsnailloafbro__________UsedTurtlejonnysunloveletterbombsactualjellyfishBreterbiesvxlk
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    hey honey check out this powerpoint i made of my moodswings *flips open laptop so hard it smash into the wall* MAYBE LATER!!!

    • 1,984
    • FAVS
    timothymrshanopovapopjimmy_townPiecezillamarblenightchapel3929mihailstamenovddrwg
    • 1,192
    • RETWEETS
    JordanKinmanchapel3929ddrwgVoidArgumentIOwnAMethLabdeathnautbsnc64johnbrandon
    KalarlisMaryKoCogreenteam15
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    yeah i got a gym membership. its called life. watch me lift this big ass rock. now im gonna do 20 reps of pretending im a beautiful bird

    • 1,882
    • FAVS
    samsquamchesjessicaredman_rapgameDrCranemarksiddens__zwhaleznulljoshmadelinemsjasgren
    • 1,178
    • RETWEETS
    sadibee_8corabankertGreysenTheGreat__notmoceanstranger_callsMcTangleOB_wan_kenobiLonely_Slice
    jake_likes_napssomeofmybestvinceness
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    im not here to make friends! - me at the zoo telling a lie lol

    • 1,559
    • FAVS
    shanopovapopnulljoshkaffebehovfilatelinmediokrasaraInkompetentMunpontnemmkra
    • 934
    • RETWEETS
    themackernJakobJarnhandthziegler1Johnson689908lenac__poisonwombLerkyMxgXCIV
    A_Jahhvasedgod
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    forgot my ipod so im just beatboxing on the bus.driver is breakdancing in the aisle. bus is going crazy right now we havent moved in 2 hours

    • 1,620
    • FAVS
    House_Fancyshanopovapopnulljoshchrissillikerdirtyfarmermancoolteen123Suit_Gaachiezachwelch2
    • 841
    • RETWEETS
    nulljoshTalkSinMusicSuperIncreiblenompodiZeppoWilburystefanielaineEthan_Bookerjonathanbell
    RowdySailboatMrHeliotrope
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    if u get intimidatied by someone just think EVERY1 goes to bed at night and put a blanket over themself so they dont get to cold!!! Aw

    • 1,478
    • FAVS
    shanopovapopnulljoshchkilroybarthes_simpsonRidingWolvesEmaSlemakttykatiethatsthelady
    • 957
    • RETWEETS
    nulljoshsosorrybruhEmaSlemapooswagCoolKidKentyampower_crocketchris_coast
    MaryKoCo
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    when i was just born the doctor took me in his big strong arms and thats when i knew for sure i was gay as hell

    • 1,330
    • FAVS
    __the_lamestnulljoshEmaSlemaboymilkshakeSheherpspicybitch69666meiLippyNR
    • 628
    • RETWEETS
    okayiwillpostBlobWalterFedoraHippiedeadhead1991jmemrieEpidemic_redheadcreatureenbykid
    Hermit_Thrush
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    fellas i like to sit on my hand so it goes numb then it feel like someone else is wiping my tears away

    • 1,171
    • FAVS
    timothymrdearmaricaGiaInsaneanthnybourdainshanopovapopnulljosh_esotericzlesser
    • 766
    • RETWEETS
    GiaInsanegabventuretimeresiJWHugh_JaynasIamnotacopThree_NinjassirpickellWhymze
    earfdae
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    Warning: password is case sensitive. password i think ur case is cute dont woorry so much

    • 1,061
    • FAVS
    nulljoshdani_nuttdannysparkychristianbarbinDonnie_FairburnTylerWingeatalexisgmmLetdownLizzie
    • 816
    • RETWEETS
    J_OHHHHHsoltysjkrishna_vanCidCammisnow_vanshutupheavwhatsgluten______lasertron
    RedJakiBlueNoPattern
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    dinners READY! *i stab a hole in bottom of cornflakes box, 5 kids crawl in like spiders jostling for floor cereal i dont even know 2 of them

    • 1,243
    • FAVS
    rapgameDrCrane__the_lamestmarksiddens__nulljoshdirtyfarmermana_lolbrarianEmaSlemao_bjzcuk
    • 620
    • RETWEETS
    thziegler1HighbbydickedbrownnalxpConfusedAbigailyungpoundcakebeluga_baejuniusK9
    Lindzetaiandury007
  • famouscrab
      famous crab @famouscrab

    i want to be as cool as elvis his catch phrase was thank you very much. thats probably the coolest thing i ve ever heard

    • 1,283
    • FAVS
    ntngpskatiee_sheppbuttburgerschristinawildermdjarandiaJojo_deweyRobertGBordenDracula_420
    • 524
    • RETWEETS
    kaitlarsenRobertGBordenDracula_420polytravellersubzer0tundraejthesingercatpineapplequeenanhedonia
    MaryKoCocryotuna
@famouscrab

@famouscrab

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