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  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    @xboxsupport i accidtnly shot a man in GTA are you able to see if he is ok? he was wearing a red shirt and i shot him with a rocket launcher

    • 4,855
    • FAVS
    alliebeckerMoonlightVoodooryon55kole_marquardttapiocabitchroyaltycoinsaboll14goddessreborn
    • 5,088
    • RETWEETS
    ohthatbroadlovephoebecatesMoonlightVoodooMartinLifeTimesjenna10ryanfarrrkimkerr_kole_marquardt
    _wangwegrumpysalmoninmynewskin
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what

    • 4,990
    • FAVS
    jadamariahjenniggommorgankingLeeshieeePoojames_unowthatsclasssyWesleyAdams17alixandra_k
    • 4,118
    • RETWEETS
    LivtiliDieursooolaLeeshieeePooyoWTFbrahpajamajoypigalixandra_kGovChamborey9MattDR
    badtweetingstuartcraiglanyardiganjonnysunMaryKoCohottubpee
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    "NO NO NO NO" - the guy who invented folding chairs watching a wrestling match

    • 4,126
    • FAVS
    menoselryanshittyfuckheaddan_and_danStella1070smileyouredyingTomkelshaw96JoeyPositivityJoshuaBurns
    • 2,410
    • RETWEETS
    ColinNickellsHypeCanineKiller_BootsmanDET1969Me_ouchPaperWashSihophonekevinchlo
    PaperWashinmynewskinrobfeesmickable
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    fool me once thats enough of times for fooling me and i dont really enjoy it. Thanks

    • 2,894
    • FAVS
    salamixsandwichMs_DonkeyDrewRoarkskelephoneSocialExtortionmevenstillerkelsgrant15meta_thronos
    • 1,974
    • RETWEETS
    FranziaMcrmckmeghanmadonnaBenyc440ChefEdgeNaAlastairBainesDrewRoarkskelephonejsnbhs
    loveletterbombsMaryKoCoradiomaru
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    u know how sum people get amnesia well i got opposite amnesia i remember everything ask me what i ate this morning. breakfast next question

    • 2,813
    • FAVS
    faking___itFridaNorneswarrenRVAsavannahdmayerChalupacabra__Eric_MathersfiredvdSammie_Annie
    • 1,971
    • RETWEETS
    DjacobUnchainedChalupacabra__erikjodkosarahlamphierOscarGranbergcosmiatrapezinaSerwakevlarsoul_
    _Jim_Fearmojo_caDankHerbMulletbn2bQVTDrThanatos
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    "carlos did u put youre shoes on the right feets today" YES DAD LEFT AND RIGHT "on YOUr feet son?" ..DAD THIS IS THE WRONGEST I EVER GOT IT

    • 2,452
    • FAVS
    pearlnygaardDtheJGPaperWashjohn_bosworthDanReeterblearyboyMichaeLieblereilidigith
    • 1,404
    • RETWEETS
    pearlnygaardjohn_bosworthpatriceflaccoImsecretlyacowThatGuyShanakevinmartin4LceciliandersonCrispy_Rapcakes
    crylenolmathsnailloafbroUsedTurtlejonnysunloveletterbombsactualjellyfishBreterbiesvxlk
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    you gotta turn your phone off when you fly in case an old plane text you and your new plane get jealous

    • 2,216
    • FAVS
    EstebandagreatPaperWashtterraceDiCaroSmithJeffreyMcDick_maranello_DBwiddaDBSocialExtortion
    • 1,591
    • RETWEETS
    RMoses__maranello_DBwiddaDBRob_Store13jewfacekillaNigelVenableSweetPatootthwphipps
    hottubpeeAceMakesWordsstuartcraigbn2brobdelaneylaineydiamond
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    hi son like my backwards hat? how bout that gerfald he sure eat a lasagna that cant be good for her. anyways bye *rollerblades away*

    • 2,512
    • FAVS
    EstebandagreatPaperWash_donniedontlilleottopottoaylerreCountCalebAppelbeesGretherSystem
    • 1,252
    • RETWEETS
    DelanoDtheBGrassNicholasGazinKillerkerfuffleAppelbeesjacksonroyesp00kylukeobamacare69
    wimpsiclelazy_joe_wowjaredawesomejake_likes_napsMaryKoCoingmarbirdmanactualjellyfishabigfatidiotsenderblock23BikiniBabeLover
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    space is stuped if im wanted to go somewhere where i cant breathe i would just stand next to a girl

    • 2,217
    • FAVS
    jukehopperkylesbehonestmorphingmandrelspoonletterYWIRcalluptomenikepinksunrise_flatlined
    • 1,367
    • RETWEETS
    DanReeterkylesbehonestubie13Iamnot_okayCackleClubbotandyHowBoutDemOsHonfgb_sherlock
    neatdeermilkhugsmojo_caKKAlThaniemirkr
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didnt win that coach would feel stupid

    • 2,031
    • FAVS
    harrywitzkeEstebandagreatTpip3sPaperWashilluminatalieeHammerFist3fcukignShanusMcAnus
    • 1,516
    • RETWEETS
    jacobwils0nFreyMattTpip3saedockurteeOwen_DoughertyT_forrester_AlexKeveneyCazzy
    Drew4484chrisjoonior
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    hey honey check out this powerpoint i made of my moodswings *flips open laptop so hard it smash into the wall* MAYBE LATER!!!

    • 1,875
    • FAVS
    linawestmanfridabirkemoseellliebelllieuycdblvjlundberg_amandaAlfredAlfredclairikineohmanjonna
    • 1,163
    • RETWEETS
    PaulaMarwedeljoelbirkemoseStefGainesNourKaakatifett_argchimp_mcghoulcpfld_CursedTea
    KalarlisMaryKoCogreenteam15
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    yeah i got a gym membership. its called life. watch me lift this big ass rock. now im gonna do 20 reps of pretending im a beautiful bird

    • 1,443
    • FAVS
    BewareofeagleEstebandagreatPaperWashthomas_violence_CursedTeaAstonishingSodJVVMDSamGoneWiles
    • 987
    • RETWEETS
    tricksandstoneswildebeast913demshiyJenahseaMrVelezbianniShellyOsadmemesgsodoh
    someofmybestvinceness
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    im not here to make friends! - me at the zoo telling a lie lol

    • 1,463
    • FAVS
    DanReeterEstebandagreatPaperWashParkerCamp1shaaybsKARKAST_SneakyGrandpa69shutupsavannah
    • 889
    • RETWEETS
    SneakyGrandpa69alyakrelbmatsj3fkTURBO_VIRGIN_01bighatfunnykawaiigirl420synec_douchebrain_bleed
    A_Jahhvasedgod
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    if u get intimidatied by someone just think EVERY1 goes to bed at night and put a blanket over themself so they dont get to cold!!! Aw

    • 1,303
    • FAVS
    ChloeeeeeVJulieFromCinciLukeScrawnythe_kizzleally2pointOhspoonletterPaperWash3d_friend
    • 871
    • RETWEETS
    ally2pointOhThatsSoKristamaryhaddalambIamjaciHunterKochAllNewBMcDadamobrennanaleph_nought
    MaryKoCo
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    forgot my ipod so im just beatboxing on the bus.driver is breakdancing in the aisle. bus is going crazy right now we havent moved in 2 hours

    • 1,365
    • FAVS
    DanReetergluuuuuetdotrazaheynoproblemLetdownLizziejaxlrosetomjfleetMickyyfresh
    • 728
    • RETWEETS
    grindingpixelsLetdownLizziejaxlroseChris_Howell01lilwangusbribblebrabbleJbombdiggswhatthehalee
    RowdySailboatMrHeliotrope
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    fellas i like to sit on my hand so it goes numb then it feel like someone else is wiping my tears away

    • 1,150
    • FAVS
    EstebandagreatPaperWashAllieAThatFishCreighRosie_Zadiniathefosterersamnelopeshutupheav
    • 760
    • RETWEETS
    Estebandagreat_CursedTeaThatFishCreighRosie_ZadiniashutupheavNickRaveseRyanOrdille____sneeu
    earfdae
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    when i was just born the doctor took me in his big strong arms and thats when i knew for sure i was gay as hell

    • 1,274
    • FAVS
    DanReeterEstebandagreat1ethaljeaweeunbub_AllieATheManOfSealHadieeee
    • 605
    • RETWEETS
    classyderjgenuphobiadanielIehaimstwerkasaurusrexN__e__s__sspiderfingersarapocalypsedoeK_______d
    Hermit_Thrush
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    Warning: password is case sensitive. password i think ur case is cute dont woorry so much

    • 1,046
    • FAVS
    veroniraptorthefostererthatcarlygirlshutupheavNickRaveseMontrepreneurswhatsglutenSharkJelly
    • 811
    • RETWEETS
    shutupheavwhatsglutenlasertronbiillybHOMMUSAPIENchris_strattgnome_chumpskyysengrim
    RedJakiBlueNoPattern
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    dinners READY! *i stab a hole in bottom of cornflakes box, 5 kids crawl in like spiders jostling for floor cereal i dont even know 2 of them

    • 1,152
    • FAVS
    DanReeterEstebandagreat_CursedTeaAstonishingSodXBrettXaimeecowJVVMDtricksandstones
    • 595
    • RETWEETS
    pianosianoheytherecoreAlwayzFreeAlotOfThreesDtheJGRoelof_PrinsKNAPASACKAShelbyTheFerret
    Lindzetaiandury007
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    i want to be as cool as elvis his catch phrase was thank you very much. thats probably the coolest thing i ve ever heard

    • 1,185
    • FAVS
    atanenhausLetdownLizzieRobbieWard8ceejoynerBlarebareforkcityb_sabadell24le_buns
    • 496
    • RETWEETS
    DanReeterLetdownLizziele_bunsbirdlaw101kpblissettadamobrennanOrthoTDSticetwelveyearsold
    MaryKoCowimpsicle
@famouscrab

@famouscrab

finally on twitter