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  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    @xboxsupport i accidtnly shot a man in GTA are you able to see if he is ok? he was wearing a red shirt and i shot him with a rocket launcher

    • 1,968
    • FAVS
    boyhominidthshitpilemojo_caHATEFUCKERjackthackerdanMLLYMRRSDMightonInTheNursesArms
    • 2,170
    • RETWEETS
    stevebaltzZacBaltzAlexandraday000jooosterhuisSimoneSodiumstartimeashdavidlawranceKeirySpoerl
    grumpysalmoninmynewskin
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    you gotta turn your phone off when you fly in case an old plane text you and your new plane get jealous

    • 1,556
    • FAVS
    CelebYouTauntalousyknaveTheTennisPhenomrolandgongrubyameowDiaperFistclaytongrahamcaptainolya
    • 1,237
    • RETWEETS
    rolandgongemireecraireucancallmejennsoonkyuDinosaurWigPriscilla_YEAHsharksuckerbergConnerCataclysm
    AceMakesWordsstuartcraigbn2brobdelaneylaineydiamond
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    u know how sum people get amnesia well i got opposite amnesia i remember everything ask me what i ate this morning. breakfast next question

    • 1,499
    • FAVS
    chesalettohulloitsrollRobGisOnFiaaakslaneNick_Ravel7ommedKurtcheTheNewsAtGlenn
    • 1,136
    • RETWEETS
    jooosterhuishulloitsrollRobGisOnFiaaael7ommedSurrealCubeTaniaNemethm_pairitzGeistBaer
    JimFear83mojo_caDankHerbMulletbn2bQVTDrThanatos
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    "carlos did u put youre shoes on the right feets today" YES DAD LEFT AND RIGHT "on YOUr feet son?" ..DAD THIS IS THE WRONGEST I EVER GOT IT

    • 1,643
    • FAVS
    steffjeffersonlorenleneaJesusInMalibuJl1223XKarinaTeacourtneylahvReitzbitzamikasterling
    • 914
    • RETWEETS
    MountainDewbackAlexandraday000jacquitterJesusInMalibuJl1223XKarinaTeamadamesquidcoldreveries
    pegghettiloafbroUsedTurtlejonnysunloveletterbombsactualjellyfishBreterbiesvxlk
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    what if in airbud they put the dog in and they didnt win that coach would feel stupid

    • 1,458
    • FAVS
    crocodilegearsJimmythewormamikasterlingCNNSlowNewsDayMrMeatFeetGlennRoseHVxo_corinakingspaghetti
    • 1,086
    • RETWEETS
    nickinthebackdkarwowskiAhhComeOnFriendHeyBaileOL_K_RIDDLExo_corinakingspaghettibrentguy
    Drew4484chrisjoonior
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    space is stuped if im wanted to go somewhere where i cant breathe i would just stand next to a girl

    • 1,351
    • FAVS
    NYStoicSchietsvilleadamrakic24ReedinkskiradmarcoSecks_manReitzbitzs0mnus_
    • 897
    • RETWEETS
    NottuHChristiaNNYStoicaaronislifeSchietsvilleohFRICKmeradmarcoSecks_manAlexandraday000
    neatdeeralmondczarmojo_caKKAlThaniemirkr
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    fool me once thats enough of times for fooling me and i dont really enjoy it. Thanks

    • 1,151
    • FAVS
    relfy99parchierDannyF147yughettoSecks_manbrookethehammerCatsForDinnerzSqueeb_Slayer
    • 930
    • RETWEETS
    Secks_manbrookethehammerbingbokshadn_mjmaddisen_kaymostlyfeelingsjoy_diversionJeffreyo28
    loveletterbombsMaryKoCoradiomaru
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    hi son like my backwards hat? how bout that gerfald he sure eat a lasagna that cant be good for her. anyways bye *rollerblades away*

    • 1,341
    • FAVS
    TheDaveHillAlexSEDMRTable_TweetsamikasterlingNick_RavAndrewCanalesEthax357812152O000__
    • 740
    • RETWEETS
    fatalfrenchfryLiteralRobinsonEthaxChrisGiustoRad_Bugchaseruyleevlbzltyrhamsarvey
    sad_jakeMaryKoCoingmarbirdmanactualjellyfishabigfatidiotsenderblock23BikiniBabeLover
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    yeah i got a gym membership. its called life. watch me lift this big ass rock. now im gonna do 20 reps of pretending im a beautiful bird

    • 1,205
    • FAVS
    chesalettomojo_cadoguacaterudymaxStephenRuhnotbestbelieverFluvoxfloraison_
    • 823
    • RETWEETS
    jooosterhuisrudymaxhayleighritchiefloraison_lilyymoootalesofthecripharrisonvcgatalajara
    someofmybestvinceness
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    im not here to make friends! - me at the zoo telling a lie lol

    • 1,186
    • FAVS
    parchierTanviHeleneNick_Ravpcsegal357812152O000__thecrow27mart_flarnoMacAttackKGA
    • 750
    • RETWEETS
    nobowenOliviaMCollinssbakerarrrmarensftsnarasnillsedona_kingHembreWroughterly
    A_Jahhvasedgod
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    some babies are born premature but i was born very mature i just came out and i was like so what

    • 1,070
    • FAVS
    kslaneTotesMistylachowchowrelfy99StephBouldinggundamphdtheraggedkidkebn
    • 859
    • RETWEETS
    ekomlancetheraggedkidkebnMmackiieGinaValleyAsha1199karate__alexamberkhayteee
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    if u get intimidatied by someone just think EVERY1 goes to bed at night and put a blanket over themself so they dont get to cold!!! Aw

    • 1,135
    • FAVS
    RTable_TweetsamikasterlingchesalettovincenessinitfoSAHenryKrinklemareetsyoOwen_DT
    • 789
    • RETWEETS
    initfoSAHenryKrinkleashleycygrudymaxgregmac_pcvitlinSufferes_jamesmarsden
    MaryKoCo
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    Warning: password is case sensitive. password i think ur case is cute dont woorry so much

    • 957
    • FAVS
    parchierArchizuberdfblazeKurtchehamsarveyIsThatRobertMattTaylorcool_bugs
    • 775
    • RETWEETS
    ilyJessicaMarieAlexandraday000dfblazePhylanishotadamwesthamsarveykelsarroMattTaylor
    RedJakiBlueNoPattern
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    fellas i like to sit on my hand so it goes numb then it feel like someone else is wiping my tears away

    • 960
    • FAVS
    parchierReitzbitzcrocodilegearssarah_cravennvirgiltexasnik_maleticRoss_Kavanaghm_hulot
    • 654
    • RETWEETS
    Nick_RavJ_ohn7lozbruhLitlMonsterZackRad_Bughgilmloveletterbombsp3restroika
    earfdae
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    hey honey check out this powerpoint i made of my moodswings *flips open laptop so hard it smash into the wall* MAYBE LATER!!!

    • 983
    • FAVS
    nothingcatchymojo_caTroubleBadenochChrisGiustoJ_ohn7beetthiefsarah_cravenn357812152O000__
    • 610
    • RETWEETS
    boyhominidhardboiledgregggregmac_pjarthurhegartydont_taxmyponyfarthugsthecornfrostycraig_ashley
    KalarlisMaryKoCogreenteam15
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    when i was just born the doctor took me in his big strong arms and thats when i knew for sure i was gay as hell

    • 951
    • FAVS
    KidWithDreambmifsudcoldreveriesthebearghostJimFear83farthugskslaneChrisGiusto
    • 467
    • RETWEETS
    bmifsudKidWithDreamcoldreveriesstuartcraigfarthugsTweTroSainthubbinsloveletterbombs
    Hermit_Thrush
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    basket ball would be beter if the ball will say cool things to u like hey your bouncing me really good or u have kind and gentle hands

    • 732
    • FAVS
    a_wilsonationmojo_cadunbar151oprahluverzeusdioxClareYChenTrickIXtinydinosaurs
    • 574
    • RETWEETS
    theageofslackKaizaFoxClareYChenRestlessTeentinydinosaursrockwolf415AllNewBMcDstuartcraig
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    forgot my ipod so im just beatboxing on the bus.driver is breakdancing in the aisle. bus is going crazy right now we havent moved in 2 hours

    • 782
    • FAVS
    ReitzbitzjooosterhuisNick_RavCulzDeSacKurtcheoskarellberg22letlolaliveOliviaMacElroy
    • 454
    • RETWEETS
    sabinaniklassonspaceboy3kDinosaurWigRad_BugexitingcorpseyrodyknuhSwagasaurus_R3xjakeedmund
    MrHeliotrope
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    my dad say he is leaving forever and then he came back with a pack of cigaretes hehe a twist on a old classic u are a funny and good dad

    • 773
    • FAVS
    binderdonethatcoldreveriesmegplsgwenstefunniestuartcraigNick_RavTriphorcenik_maletic
    • 460
    • RETWEETS
    stuartcraighighwaterslacksLL_COOL_JOACHIMmaximumcuddlespizza_bloodbonerman_incRad_Bughailydiacakes
    MattElGatovasedgoddoTheHugsGreenishDuckthispartyislame
  • famouscrab
      carlos @famouscrab

    dinners READY! *i stab a hole in bottom of cornflakes box, 5 kids crawl in like spiders jostling for floor cereal i dont even know 2 of them

    • 802
    • FAVS
    _baphomettecrocodilegearskirsharkjoy_diversioncementlispRadioRaheemsdubsack_of_dmtBllMcFrln
    • 408
    • RETWEETS
    kirsharkScottJJLewissamzaxxon300hoodrichmetroidhugsfakenichollsNkosiBoulwarehematomancy
    Lindzetaiandury007
@famouscrab

@famouscrab

crab whom enjoy