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I've always felt a strong connection to fast food workers because most of them have also been screamed at by my mother
On a scale of 1- abortion , how fun is your weekend gonna be?
I'm way too picky of an eater to be a lesbian
cool: your girlfriend is precious. uncool: your girlfriend is Precious.
qualititty, not quantititty
Everyone always tells me my eyes are "so big and beautiful," it's like I constantly have to tell people "Hey my boobs are down here!"
MLK was a real MLKILF
My blood type is overly dramatic
Can you imagine if your grandma actually got run over by a reindeer like that'd be some shit
Do you think asians are excited for the big erection today?
Somebody please come punch me in the face
Behind every great man, there's a woman who knows he pisses sitting down
I'm really fucking spastic and have no filter or friends. I love sleep and fat babies.