• Hola!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    i bought a 30 pack of condoms and they expire in 2016. i’m crunching the numbers here and it’s not looking good

    • 4,151
    • FAVS
    keahpaadlpsfkoLazySummerDazedmccaffrey666mcwoodyleahhar51819552JosephOlangFFHottieAsst
    • 2,726
    • RETWEETS
    LazySummerDazedlouieoscmcwoodyNickyD715derrickhintontalikmadikspidr2ybananaTrueQuixote
    bloptPlaying_DadHome_HalfwaypartiallyproElColonelCortezsomeofmybest_correctomundoIamEnidColeslaw
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    actually, Bon Jovi is the name of the BAND. you're thinking of Bon Jovi's monster

    • 2,894
    • FAVS
    LtotheOtotheMAXthetelemachyryankirshShingapoopdanger_spousemichaelllclarkRadTadTheDadcakestein
    • 1,633
    • RETWEETS
    ericaschwingdaniiyellsRadTadTheDadJosephKSheltonBabyFace4132daleknadoheykaysaybabeIincoln
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    wait, THESE are pistachios? i’ve been calling them wood clams

    • 2,780
    • FAVS
    radicaljocyclaudiabarnessalicynjean063709hollyykateNowhereMandiesebadontmoongIow
    • 1,424
    • RETWEETS
    heystu818radicaljocyughgiordaneraser___headALEXSIGHwatermelonmeatLeanne_Padgettjpuncholo
    earfdaeduplicitronHome_HalfwayGregDorrisLunarmayorUpturnedBathtubedzitronmadamezoobleRowdyBowden
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    i saw an ad on craigslist once that said “free firewood, u collect it” so i wrote the guy and said “bud you just wrote an ad for the woods”

    • 2,800
    • FAVS
    SquadricepsadlpsfkonichtschubsenAnireykjdhartleyandycam_jmyldAdlaiStevenson
    • 1,364
    • RETWEETS
    TylerYork86godlrod2JimmyMakesandycam_kyleveTaylorMadeLifehugggmeeeee6PackOfTriangle
    greenteam15Home_Halfwaypudding_clubtlemcoBassoonJokesTheFearBoners____KampSinloveletterbombsrobfee
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    kicked out of The Hobbit for shouting “NOW WE’RE TOLKIEN” every time something happened

    • 2,279
    • FAVS
    keahpaadlpsfkosomethingartsyjuanderful__espeerulesevening_ruinergoodatsports15BecksWelker
    • 1,241
    • RETWEETS
    iWreck_Weaves_OhGahraPsully226gb_kirkpatrickSJDonahoeboordtespeerulesPitcherbro
    philyuck
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    did you see the @gofundme where awful people are literally rewarding darren wilson with cash for killing a black guy pic.twitter.com/KLGvLPRaxZ

    • 760
    • FAVS
    DaSalamonderbrandonriver_aFazio_NShannonAuvilPlaying_DadDjoulzzevents_occurtrash_lad
    • 2,505
    • RETWEETS
    Trains69DMightoneveoraaelllsbellllsnope421Fazio_Ndor__mirDjoulzz
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    i’m worried that when i am 69 years old i will laugh for an entire year

    • 1,914
    • FAVS
    radicaljocyrachaelloreneangelac97vndreavictoriaLaurr619BeSchmidtylily_partlowdonnieplath
    • 1,065
    • RETWEETS
    Rachel_Hurdwhere_lionslivemicaeladermodynatcr0sswatermelonmeatdamirakhairiSpace_DreamsEsonProblems
    iBlayneBrianhopecomedyGriffinrebornmojo_ca
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    do you think any old west guys ever made a poop and then shot the poop with a gun

    • 1,968
    • FAVS
    nickscuttiradicaljocyAilleon__watermelonmeatimence2charliebossysmeagolsfreemichael_carter2
    • 952
    • RETWEETS
    radicaljocywatermelonmeatJamie_Flood_lecounardWhiteyBolgerDanCoolMoonGuyLaraRegimejimmah120
    constantlyjoshgreenteam15TheAnimePoliceIamEnidColeslawKampSinrad_milkElephartrobdelaney
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    i don't smoke weed because last time i did it i stood in the kitchen and boiled an onion and ate it and the whole process took like 4 hours

    • 1,926
    • FAVS
    radicaljocykeahpatacojohnsfanotonucklchristyjayunspecialrichardteengothMesaCole
    • 800
    • RETWEETS
    radicaljocyrjohnson291MayIPeeNowLD4veyDannyMarkhrad_as_heckquetzalcoitusisaiahmassey12
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    my neck, my back, my pizza and my snacks

    • 1,281
    • FAVS
    NicoleCulrachaellorenelanamarinamileydancing4poetryb00tyslavewottow2danizheycorinne
    • 1,165
    • RETWEETS
    Nastybishhlaursebabes_jacids_olacewatermelonmeatFunniestEverdukesrealnowLogan_Deckard
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    god is real and he's waited around for 13.7 billion years to watch you masturbate and get mad about it

    • 1,336
    • FAVS
    coolteen666charliebossysam_statesUrucCurrkennedylryankylevesmeagolsfreeaKhalifa101
    • 966
    • RETWEETS
    HeavyBytesdz0methemostbrianBennyAnticsDanCoolMoonGuycquigs12ethics13DemianJohnston
    poopiestOzymandingus______ThisAlexStein
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    over 7 years ago i added false information to the Manimal wikipedia article. it's still there. pic.twitter.com/do6jcHlinO

    • 1,727
    • FAVS
    jmemrieBlutaltommyhannon_93DaSalamonderASAPBullwinklesplooskeafrenchPlaying_Dad
    • 483
    • RETWEETS
    Blutalsid_fleshASAPBullwinklerobhunter82marijanemuteboyanythingplusmorM_Schwartzkopf
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    RT @samuelrahsaan: Last time I hooped in Moore Gym I was guarding a dude with no socks on and he did a spin move and a smashed Mcdouble fel…

    • 1
    • FAV
    PaperWash
    • 2,071
    • RETWEETS
    harrisonvcAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    so wait, explain again how “butt dial” is different from “booty call”? it still sounds like i should come over

    • 1,297
    • FAVS
    JennuflectRowdyBergerkeahpaadlpsfkocharliebossycorymcrawfordFunniestEverUrucCurr
    • 774
    • RETWEETS
    yamilletttFunniestEverUrucCurrZane_StephensphilleebeCalum_oOoOkylereed96dtfdamon
    OhMattyBoytlemco
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    Wow a guy on the train just got up and said "Remember rugrats. Remember the 90s" and now we're all standing up clapping and cheering for him

    • 1,253
    • FAVS
    black_wid0wwhanahnsjuressailordumbtricky__mattrelatabledadlily_partlowSaulKewl
    • 701
    • RETWEETS
    nrmlalx92eraser___headanimalofhabitwatermelonmeatTonyD069DangOlWilldylandavid276somestatic
    slimepukematthandlersux
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    correct me if i’m wrong but did i just invent chess on twitter:

    rkbqzbkr
    pppppppp
    ========
    ========
    ========
    ========
    PPPPPPPP
    RKBQZBKR

    • 885
    • FAVS
    rachaellorenedancing4poetryalicynjeansherpuhhwatermelonmeatMooseXLsmeagolsfreeaKhalifa101
    • 1,022
    • RETWEETS
    Jared_haywood2danizwatermelonmeath__c__rwhatsanovenjpleboeufoutofmyplanetTheTechChat
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    it would be pretty badass if people never stopped growing and old people were like 30 feet tall. anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk

    • 1,232
    • FAVS
    39914O51keahpaadlpsfkocoolteen666BASTIAN________henryfinlay1fdigankarmodscum
    • 636
    • RETWEETS
    henryfinlay1NateBoulangerAnIIRemyTweTrothemostbriandz0mebvazzPossiblyAlan
    gspelsDrewFitz
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    “9/11 was an inside job” -dominos pizza pic.twitter.com/WvPxSWdY49

    • 1,209
    • FAVS
    DaSalamondercharliebossyASAPBullwinkleUrucCurrwelpcommadecemeyernicolecorielyns
    • 632
    • RETWEETS
    tinypyramidsUrucCurrmadelineudelwelpcommaCodyRyanCarrelchloeram0nemmccormick81uglywhitedude
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    my dream job is to be the FBI guy who nicknames criminals. someone blew up a fish market? Tunabomber. easy.

    • 992
    • FAVS
    charliebossyASAPBullwinkleUrucCurrAmandaRothausdefnecalimodscumkyleveharrisonvc
    • 539
    • RETWEETS
    UrucCurrdz0meharrisonvcwhatsanovensomecleverthingMikeHaunch0CubiekartCopaseticSoulz
    JohnASinclair
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    if macklemore were lactose intolerant he would be milknomore. this web site is a hell to me

    • 1,162
    • FAVS
    SnapBackZach_TheFlamingFauxkcroyals2184Gonewanderin13kashanacauleyRobynKThomsonsfreeze6jpuncholo
    • 359
    • RETWEETS
    SnapBackZach_alanagraceAraelBirdSwaughnMarkOnThePlanetsfreeze6ITuoheySuitableHolmes
    Secks_man
@fart

@fart
Pro

internet idiot extraordinaire + devops thought lord