• Ahoy!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    Gift @fart Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 5,583
    • FAVS
    BennettSmith96its_just_annie1Kasper_RaglusToBreakTheMindqueeenvkffruitbodyymoon_pizza_miketoshcyoung
    • 2,740
    • RETWEETS
    cox_cordelloboyleconorqueeenvkOfficiaIDadOldUncleDaveOmasoncookiemanisabcllaangelfxll
    UnrealRogueSteveDutzy
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    i bought a 30 pack of condoms and they expire in 2016. i’m crunching the numbers here and it’s not looking good

    • 4,517
    • FAVS
    Bonzilla_BryanEffEmM__BEZJoelBuxtongLEAHitterInvisiblesArmyUnrealRoguehalloweenbears
    • 2,884
    • RETWEETS
    UnrealRoguegrabmybutstickdineshgada1973thisisntleroyWeirdBirdPalInsane_CultistFancy_Puffinjakegunst
    ParentNormalbloptPlaying_DadHome_HalfwaypartiallyproElColonelCortezsomeofmybest_correctomundoIamEnidColeslaw
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    no, no-- i'm pro-life only until the baby is born. after that the baby must exist in a hellworld of preventable disease and gun violence

    • 4,229
    • FAVS
    craigpatikbradycanoebwreillyW_Petersjayscarbluemissokisticderivativebitchscuzzmctuzz
    • 2,922
    • RETWEETS
    ZeppoWilburymarcwanscuzzmctuzzemszsaSteal1993NeverfadingwoodScientitsBurtBurtleby
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    i saw an ad on craigslist once that said “free firewood, u collect it” so i wrote the guy and said “bud you just wrote an ad for the woods”

    • 3,824
    • FAVS
    ThrillmotJoelBuxtonbarf_bag_gLEAHitterWitheredHuskThe_QQQQfultgangFORGETTHATNOISE
    • 1,762
    • RETWEETS
    AaronCampeauhhaankweneedaplanBblxckfyrestessyvee24saysBailsWindyCityRockrMoonMetropolis
    greenteam15Home_Halfwaypudding_clubtlemcoBassoonJokesTheFearBoners____kampsinloveletterbombsrobfee
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    kicked out of The Hobbit for shouting “NOW WE’RE TOLKIEN” every time something happened

    • 3,580
    • FAVS
    flesrullikkocraigpatikSilverBadgerGloebrsamantha_goldjerrygoldsocksrrmccannCarlosVanSRon
    • 1,844
    • RETWEETS
    hhaankari_zimmermanrrmccannbeanutpudderharis__sCarlosVanSRonHashtagNBasparrowgoose
    DrDweezilphilyuck
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    wait, THESE are pistachios? i’ve been calling them wood clams

    • 3,292
    • FAVS
    Scott_7791M__BEZJoeyHeath10em_nachdavebrancosucksJoJomouthkernst2405okayjulia
    • 1,666
    • RETWEETS
    davebrancosucksGlad_beaEeahKaijuRamblingsbRegankindakookykearajillianpizzutohtefuckinaquafreshXTREME
    earfdaeduplicitronHome_HalfwayGregDorrisLunarmayorUpturnedBathtubedzitronzoeklarRowdyBowden
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    actually, Bon Jovi is the name of the BAND. you're thinking of Bon Jovi's monster

    • 3,101
    • FAVS
    craigpatikWakaFlockaScottjake_klessJoelBuxtonhardasminardmojo_cahalloweenbearsFARMULOUS
    • 1,782
    • RETWEETS
    haris__sABisqueToDieForRainmanMcmillinmirpanda07MikeACollierGarrettAdolfjakegunstLike_the_Jeans
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    i don't smoke weed because last time i did it i stood in the kitchen and boiled an onion and ate it and the whole process took like 4 hours

    • 3,225
    • FAVS
    radtoria33ff00blxckfyresRod_Samriguezroyaltycoinsneurogirl666_emmetsThirstyRando
    • 1,299
    • RETWEETS
    elieeepoolovephoebecatesDazzabooyahblxckfyresstephklebartourjerbsclaireelyssaaharDCor_barra
    SteveDutzy
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    did you see the @gofundme where awful people are literally rewarding darren wilson with cash for killing a black guy pic.twitter.com/KLGvLPRaxZ

    • 763
    • FAVS
    glenna_optstefanguimondGuyOnDaTerlitthelittlephrasechrisbarnes5000hipsterscumbagbrubinowDaSalamonder
    • 2,505
    • RETWEETS
    jakegunstLizinBaliMathsHueDan_SalehTrains69Dw_ghtstilliIIelllsbelllls
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    i’m worried that when i am 69 years old i will laugh for an entire year

    • 2,008
    • FAVS
    ZCarlatM__BEZJoelBuxtongLEAHittersiamesequinndavebrancosuckshalloweenbearsif_var
    • 1,103
    • RETWEETS
    davebrancosucksKevinCassidyJrbrandonscottaquafreshXTREMEGimmeThaBeckayyanya_keeleighhKirstenTerrillavainman
    iBlayne__BrianhopecomedyGriffinrebornmojo_ca
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    do you think any old west guys ever made a poop and then shot the poop with a gun

    • 2,001
    • FAVS
    JoelBuxtonpistolwistolbrianbrainbranidavebrancosuckshalloweenbearsAlisonBukiksaw_lolponyshow
    • 960
    • RETWEETS
    pistolwistoldavebrancosucksthisisntleroyDank_HerbertfuddlemarkGrrrbichJRfuckutomLunchaballin
    constantlyjoshgreenteam15TheAnimePoliceIamEnidColeslawkampsinrad_milkElephartrobdelaney
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    it'd be wise to take an archery class before you die so you can be a skeleton archer. don't end up a rusty sword skeleton if you can help it

    • 1,759
    • FAVS
    blxckfyresstalefriespistolwistolDragondanielaMamsellChaosMaiimounaeFraneAranJaeger
    • 1,079
    • RETWEETS
    blxckfyresDragondanielaMamsellChaosMaiimounaNaturalismusMolemittslinkshundSamHallDraws
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    over 7 years ago i added false information to the Manimal wikipedia article. it's still there. pic.twitter.com/do6jcHlinO

    • 2,216
    • FAVS
    westiswhereCoreyKeatonmvpbaseball2003shruglordCalebHurst34CoolGuyJones__OuterJohnvicinabox
    • 597
    • RETWEETS
    lennyburnhamspoonermassohjoeyeThripshawSaulJRosenbearWilber_F_BabyCarr18JEpicBeastmode
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    my neck, my back, my pizza and my snacks

    • 1,369
    • FAVS
    AdrielVazquez10jewbajewchristinawilderaudreytang13glenna_optMollySneedkellyandcreamkaviar3319
    • 1,203
    • RETWEETS
    biebergirl1993fuckutomjewbajewgofastrunThe1stTylerOmegoon_bryan_whatMNoooooodle
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    god is real and he's waited around for 13.7 billion years to watch you masturbate and get mad about it

    • 1,364
    • FAVS
    JoelBuxtonpistolwistolhalloweenbearsWillVanill_RRON_glenna_optPlankfanfuddlemark
    • 980
    • RETWEETS
    pistolwistolpatrickeckhartFiaca4HeyOpossumhfuckutomurinarymeatus69Mangyhuitzilopochtla
    poopiestOzymandingus______ThisAlexStein
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    when an incalculable number of innocent people have died because of an amendment, maybe its not a great amendment. just spitballin here gang

    • 1,493
    • FAVS
    MadiMSandersrealbeccamazzdownpouredthesaurosieerinnandjeffcraigpatiktoakesitseescott
    • 711
    • RETWEETS
    realbeccamazzthesaurosiethe_magic_mtiiiiiiiztoakesjeannetteeee12Suzcoxoxokhenck
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    so wait, explain again how “butt dial” is different from “booty call”? it still sounds like i should come over

    • 1,344
    • FAVS
    pistolwistolgLEAHittersiamesequinnAdrielVazquez10fuddlemarkethan_laymanYardBarbiedeathtoscumbags
    • 789
    • RETWEETS
    JohnMeadowcroftrenegadeDADrewFroggerhrdgrdMattsBestTweetsjoeydollazzMacKooliodavidwades
    HiMattySimstlemco
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    RT @samuelrahsaan: Last time I hooped in Moore Gym I was guarding a dude with no socks on and he did a spin move and a smashed Mcdouble fel…

    • 4
    • FAVS
    glenna_optPopeJohn69onlinernetPaperWash
    • 2,071
    • RETWEETS
    harrisonvcAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    it would be pretty badass if people never stopped growing and old people were like 30 feet tall. anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk

    • 1,349
    • FAVS
    TatumCSTweetingDadGuypvqkcMcCowgirl662x3DBwiddaDBsmilelovingdawncloudrival
    • 679
    • RETWEETS
    mattsketball662x3DBwiddaDBBlindDefSlimjoeyz95PROKITTENSDanbecBecksamelpan
    GraceSpelmanDrewFitz
  • fart
      jon hendren @fart

    Wow a guy on the train just got up and said "Remember rugrats. Remember the 90s" and now we're all standing up clapping and cheering for him

    • 1,293
    • FAVS
    M__BEZcraigpatikpistolwistoldirkwalkerashwinpandeNathanielWaggRRON_kcajnhoj
    • 726
    • RETWEETS
    pistolwistolFlonk2NunnBettaMarcdachampteodranikaishu_sashwinpandeaquafreshXTREME
    slimepukematthandlersux
@fart

@fart

silicon valley's most influential thought leader. @devops badboy.

Gift_128x128

Like @fart’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.

Gift them Pro!