i was looking in the mirror while crying and then i whispered "you beautiful bitch"

my mom just read me my christmas list from 15 years ago and #1 is "a mcdonalds in our house"

happy father's day to my dad: a man who will never see this tweet

the title of my autobiography is gonna be "I sat down to pee but ended up pooping"

twitter makes me feel connected to people even though i'm afraid to leave my house and would rather die than hang out with any of you

had to go through my tweets to figure out when my last period was

fuck the thigh gap

white girls and their fucking dios de los muertos tattoos. fuck. off.

my mom is an alcoholic and one time she called me while drunk and screamed at me for not watering my step dad's crops on farmville

just heard my neighbor say "if he stole my cupcake pan I'm gonna slit his throat"

roses are dumb/fuck u violets/tomorrow I'm gonna kill my self

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had a nightmare that my ringtone was fergie's 'big girls don't cry' and that it was impossible to change or make silent

twitter was the best idea of all time

i think i threw out my lower back. probably from my luscious titties.

the only things u should care about are getting high, feelin good, and whether or not you're being an asshole.

unable to achieve orgasm because I have a smash mouth song stuck in my head

just realized the 7th heaven dog is very very dead

weed has opened my eyes to so many things, like, lost is bad, and everyone should just fucking chill out about everything

I eat fast food everyday because I don't have the guts to straight up kill myself