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I just met a white guy named Jerome.
She wants me...
...to stop talking to her.
God only hates gays because his roommate Steve broke his heart in college.
Just rolled over so I guess theres no need to go to the gym today.
Oh no you guys, a fruit bat bit me. Does this mean I'm gonna turn gay?
Me: You know it's a illegal to lie to the cable guy.
Hot customer: Uh, ok.
Me: So what's up with your cable and do you swallow?
Girls with full back tattoos love anal.
Side note: girls with full back tattoos, call me.
My balls ache from excessive masturbation. So I've got that goin for me.
If you're at the Mobile on Rt. 130 I'm warning you now, DON'T GO IN THE MEN'S ROOM.
If the river runs red take the dirt road.
🎶I ain't no follow back girl, I ain't no follow back girl🎶 ~ Gwen Stefani on Twitter
This Thanksgiving I'm thankful for all you fucks.
If I was a zombie I'd eat your ass. Ahh, who am I kidding? I'll eat it anyway.
I just fit three fingers in my butthole. When do I get a holiday named after me?
If your only concern with giving me road head is safety, don't worry I'm gonna drive really slow cuz I never wanna get where we're going.
I don't mean to brag or anything but I had sex once.
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