I admire your self confidence.

It's misplaced, but carry on.

Unfollowed for saying fuck?

Fuck off.

I star and retweet so many of you because you say many things I want to but can't put into words as eloquently or as beautifully. Awesome.

If you're happy and you know it

Fuck off.

I get that you don't get me.

I don't fucking get me either.

Yes I'll selflessly retweet.

Your fantabulousness should always be shared.

You can miss someone you don't know and you can know someone you don't miss.

Stages of break-up recovery;

1) devastation

2) realisation

3) retaliation

4) masturbation

5) celebration

Purgatory in your pants.

I retweet you because you're better than me.

Don't kid yourself darlin' I was this amazing way before I met you, and I still am.

Reality is a bastard. Therefore I won't be entertaining it.

Regret.

Such a small word.
Such a huge bastard of a thing.

Until twitter I didn't think Americans were funny.

But they're actually fucking hilarious.

It's so cute that you believe I'm as stupid as you are.

It's exhausting trying to be this nonchalant you know.

Way too little of my time is spent horizontal..

I admit it. Sometimes I enlarge your avi and lick it.

Please leave my head for a little minute. Hopefully then I won't fuck everything up. Shit, I didn't mean it, who cares about everything else

What's my type ?

Apparently
Tall
Dark
Handsome
Fuckwit