I wanna see "joyful noise" as much as I want a dick in my ear

You're texting me, but you probably wouldn't be if you knew you were saved as "DUMBFUCK"

Junebugs Wtf! Get a calendar

I'd like having roommates more if they enjoyed me walking around naked as much as I do.

I can smell your ass ass ass ass ass

It's not you, it's the fact that you don't also really really hate almonds in your rocky road.

Having plenty of time to do something will ensure I find something else to do to make me late for the original thing.

Rum balls consist of two things i like, yet together make a very disgusting dessert.

I love hearing about how packed stores are right now

Later we'll have some fucking pie & we'll do some caroling.

Fucking pie anyone?

It's one of those days where I grab all the clothes from the dryer & try to fit them all on one hanger

If you don't want me to play a song you don't like everytime I get a chance, quit telling me you hate it so much

@down_to_stars I use Twitter for Android the official one,only one I've used I like it