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  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Gift @femin9 Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 905
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGtoyotaman1988gay_geneGlomarResponderjuandedalThinkSaskatoonHarunzariiTacoREPLYBONURGENT
    • 761
    • RETWEETS
    NOTBRYANKINGjuandedalGanderGinbookworm474Heres_to_youGingerGanderat1stiwasafraidmax_pad21
    FootboowHrBryKevinDeanGanderMaui_SpeaksUGotMeRightStevensLeavingsthatstingstheheathheadJayTheOkay
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realizing that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

    • 744
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGmax_pad21nulljosh__Sunga_Effectme_touchstone__euanDrobertswolvezeneJtorsie
    • 392
    • RETWEETS
    SlyZinzNOTBRYANKINGJohnLenonn_max_pad21thetoxicarcadenulljosh__bdreadzzTunjiLardner
    KITTENSTARE______NoTime_toThink
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Dad: Babies are made when the man puts his penis inside the woman to make her pregnant
    Kid: So when does he get his penis back
    Dad: Never

    • 554
    • LIKES
    KhaleddAhmedrobin_991NOTBRYANKINGBeachLotusmax_pad21violet_heartinreload2015ShipInTheKnight
    • 364
    • RETWEETS
    NOTBRYANKINGmax_pad21violet_heartinbrv_e123_Lilian_321EricMaxPowersMpha_MphaRockaChique__
    DaddyJewA_SmartAssstrandell
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    The adult store called apparently I can't buy the big red vibrator displayed on their wall because its their fire extinguisher

    • 659
    • LIKES
    JeannieG40AngryRaccoon2DearAuntAbbyNOTBRYANKINGcookiesnweedmax_pad21nulljosh__SPAC3CRAF
    • 337
    • RETWEETS
    JeannieG40DearAuntAbbyKhaleddAhmedNOTBRYANKINGJohnLenonn_max_pad21SPAC3CRAFMon_x_Tey
    RomoForTheWin____ticknadaMyHairyLife______Barely_hinged
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    What do you call 50 lesbians and 50 government employees in one room?
    100 people that don't do dick

    • 747
    • LIKES
    PinchSuckBlowKhaleddAhmedbig_scottie_69__ella__fraserNOTBRYANKINGat1stiwasafraidmax_pad21nulljosh__
    • 265
    • RETWEETS
    big_scottie_69__ella__fraserat1stiwasafraidmax_pad21codvlprbrokeMD__euanDrobertswolvezene
    IceIceBaeBaeletsdancebitchsllvvzzRealJimmySnow____
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Life Tip: Autocorrect doesnt recognize tsunami so if anyone sends you a text that says Mao Tse Tung get the fuck away from the ocean

    • 470
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGcigarinGirlAllegra__uncommonclayteenamberangelBlackCort_IzzykwirkyKerriMon_x_Tey
    • 235
    • RETWEETS
    cigarinGirlAllegra__mcselasieuncommonclayBlackCort_IzzykwirkyKerriMon_x_TeyDoyle_McLain
    hamspamtymaamHuttonGray__DudeImShawnBoucheDag2k_BKL_____________Stacy_Dean
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    I've had so many Brazilian waxes, my vagina speaks fluent Portuguese

    • 580
    • LIKES
    KhaleddAhmedNOTBRYANKINGobscenecuntWildeThingySPAC3CRAFMon_x_TeyUnderchildeHoneyBaaBaa
    • 190
    • RETWEETS
    SPAC3CRAFMon_x_TeyUnderchildeRealJinjaNinjacigarinduchys_momjumpdasharkAsh333r
    sarcazm2
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    In the Czech Republic abortions are known as cancelled Czechs

    • 377
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGBKFIIIkeroseneh__MarianneACOTA__Zora_d_1991hereholddeezBa_hottieJackeulade10
    • 186
    • RETWEETS
    BKFIIIZora_d_1991sunveersingh_Bwoyyyynalibukani1st_DiscipleLisaACOTA__Freudianscript__
    fullblowndaveDrunkSocialite
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Checked into a hotel with the kids & asked the desk clerk if the porn channel was disabled. No u perverted cow she replied its regular porn

    • 560
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGHoneyBaaBaaiamangelinaxoxo__RealJinjaNinjaningeechopjjmick45__BlueboggirlBackpackerBooie__
    • 158
    • RETWEETS
    RealJinjaNinjachrbisdiscountzenjumpdasharkTheAlexNevilDoyle_McLainOnlyFastEddieEvilPandaX
    iTomFoolerysweetboudica______
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Wife: I'm leaving you because prostitutes get paid $1000 an hour for doing what I do for free
    Hubs: I wanna see you survive on $2000 a year

    • 301
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGcigarinJenGwenSvenfleurs8du8malMon_x_TeyTheAlexNevileggotisticLadyTaTa__________
    • 125
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedcigarinMon_x_TeyTheAlexNevilCountMackulatweet_Favorisarahwhitekcdelucare
    MasterOfFuryFunnyInMyHead
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    If I ever opened a bar I'd call it Amy's Winehouse

    • 372
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGTheAlexNevileggotistichamspamtymaamCourageDRDONTJIMMYMEJULZincognytoeicehead13
    • 110
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedBeaLuxx__________Dordeerwinniekeyshia____LazzLo_P_D_M21Abgoon_NotThatKunal
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Guys during sex if your eyes start to tear your nose runs and u cant breathe chances are you're having a bad reaction to the pepper spray

    • 268
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGcigarinMon_x_TeyTheAlexNevileggotisticTheIronSherkDONTJIMMYMEJULZMrNickJC__
    • 88
    • RETWEETS
    cigarineveryteen4free__MmmPrextonMon_x_TeyFuzzzyNutscrunchenhancedmarkiek69________wantaphuongta__
    mikerhoadsThat_Damn_Duck
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    School Books ~ $50
    Mosquito Net ~ $25
    Starving Child in Africa ~ Riceless

    • 330
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGeggotisticCountMackulapkninjaz__jaesplaceBTrainTweetsLetsGet9inedallisobn__
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    CountMackulaShelleyBesselallisobn__WhaddupcomptonEvilPandaXticknadaacupofalrightcrunchenhanced
    YearOfRat
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Kris Humphries admits that Kim Kardashian was more like a condom than a wife. Apparently she spent more time in his wallet than on his dick

    • 71
    • LIKES
    eolson24CountMackulaqwertying__ed_spacefullblowndavele_don_juan__KimJungilSpirit__badplans
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    CountMackulaed_spacePnefariousCarboslyMichaelZiegler7__jumpdasharkryan711ExquisiteTast3
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    I remember the end of the world like it was yesterday

    • 97
    • LIKES
    CroweJamjasonlight73qwertying__jumpdasharked_spaceDoItWithWoodclean_not_soberDanKCharnley
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    chrisreeder_ATXCraigRazRealDirtyDonkeyTheSweetestD_lolamaeakers______LycrawidowCatoMinorSPQRstephandstuff__
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Guy to Girl: You remind me of my baby toe


    Girl: Cos I'm cute?



    Guy: Nope its cos I'm gonna end up banging u on the coffee table

    • 286
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGfallybirdTheAlexNevileggotisticCountMackulaDoyle_McLainTheIronSherkDONTJIMMYMEJULZ
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    KhaleddAhmedTheAlexNevilDoyle_McLainacerecerobmadbrad84crunchenhancedEvilPandaXpragg12
    Jnmo48____________
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Tampons should come with precautionary messages like "PUT DOWN THAT GUN" "THATS ENOUGH CHOCOLATE" "& "TAKE THAT FUCKING PILLOW OFF HIS FACE

    • 173
    • LIKES
    ggfletcherCountMackulaNoLuckWantedRDVassar__SassOnMyMouthTeeS900__________rebekahbo________malber
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    ggfletcherCountMackulaGACQueen13TeeS900__________LoyalHellhoundcrunchenhanced2drunk2walkneneygrrl________
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    FBI have discovered how to weave Taliban prayer mats out of plastic explosives. They say prophets are going through the roof

    • 289
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGUnderchildeSashaBrennerheyscooterRIKSHAZ9LICKdoublewideartThe_Dorkster______TheAlexNevil
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    doublewideartThe_Dorkster______favstar_historyTheAlexNevilCountMackulaKhromeDome99Olive_Liver__cella145
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Here's one for Beliebers and Non Beliebers pic.twitter.com/Ow9APdmk

    • 80
    • LIKES
    aks30augNickC46itsmetrbkatlinlove47CaptMerica82__redpawn3skuntmusclerebsghost
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    itsmetrbkatlinlove47donbcivilredpawn3Oushinarrebsghostscrewe78Britlerr
  • femin9
      Lisa K @femin9

    Warning: if a UFO lands in your garden and little green people emerge shouting 'fuck you' earth has been invaded by extra tourettestrials

    • 229
    • LIKES
    NOTBRYANKINGeggotisticCountMackulaDoyle_McLainDONTJIMMYMEJULZpjsharman4________ChristianPlanteramenfuneral
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    crunchenhancedjonslowstellah567moniquemichele8sc_vaughncanazn_73________TheSweetestD_Ariztobrat________
    robocreep
@femin9

@femin9

High-maintenance professional princess in Freudian slippers

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