I not really married I'm just not divorced yet.

Just saw old highschool friend. If that's what 20 years of veganism does to you thank god I eat meat!

I feel like eating Chinese.. not the people just the food!

Spatula sounds like somthing that should hold spit.

Since when was Avril Levigne the sexiest Canadian woman..please... she needs to fix her snaggle teeth before that is even an option.

Daughter is apparently planning a "wear an ugly xmas sweater" party ..sounds like a photo op waiting to happen & post on twitter!

Perpendicular..sounds sexy in a perpy kind of way!

Teachers don't have fetishes unless it involves telling someone what to do & how to do it.

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow
And mistletoe
And presents 'neath the tree

What do you get when you have 4 Cavalier King Charles Spaniels & a pizza out of the oven..8 eyes waiting for something to drop!

Thinking that figgy pudding probably keeps one regular? Oh ya.

#shitmymomsays I noticed you haven't been dating are you a lesbian?

My neighbors across the street have matching PT Cruisers and are nurses..need I same more?

couscous..just love saying it.

Watched news.The Olympic torch looked like a huge joint..I guess it is Canada?

Apparently drinking bubble tea is like having a straw give birth in your mouth...sounds yummy doesn't it?

Oxymoron: Parent teacher meetings. The parents that really need to come..never show up.

LOL @dirtymy daughter says she is going to marry a guy who is nice to her...and not ugly. So it looks like she won't be getting married.

@some1s_sista I got toblerone as gift and my ex ate it. Why..because he was depressed!I said get your own chocolate.

#FF @dottedwithearts because she is cute as a button & can drink you under the table!