Well, at least my taxes will be lower in the forthcoming post-apocalyptic hellscape.

Maybe it's just me, but this is a pretty weird episode of Doctor Who #london2012

Was Jesus really born of a virgin? Or was he, like me, just really unwilling to imagine that his parents ever had sex?

@brownpau I think those are analog Kindles. They are only able to display one book, but they get great battery life.

I used to be an egalitarian, but then someone pointed out that it was both unkind and unhealthy to live on an all-eagle diet.

What a beautiful world in which we live, so filled with wonder and magic. OK, now back to downloading grandma fetish porn.

@brownpau Not so! Using solar energy helps fund Heat Miser in his ongoing war with Cold Miser!

Finally combining my dream of being a troubadour with my dream of being a stevedore. I now load cargo ships while I play my lute.

Pear, pare and pair are all homophones, but apparently 1-900-HOT-STUD isn't.

When life gives you Richard Ayos, make Richard Ayoade.

@elsaborasiatico where's a spooked horse when you need one?

Don't just stand there, man, Pope something!

It's amazing when you can still use technology from an previous age. Like a vintage fountain pen from the 20s or my 2 year-old iPod Touch.

Well I guess Clint Eastwood's just screwed himself out of the lead in that remake of "Harvey".

My heart goes out to people on a transplant waiting list. Hopefully, only after I'm legally dead.

@brownpau PAC-man also ate that ghost without eating a power pill first, so I suspect that commercial isn't canon

I feel so full of life! Which probably confirms my doctor's diagnosis that I'm infected with parasitic worms.

@brownpau Hmm...I got the impression that Atlanta was overrun with pedestrians. Admittedly this was from S1 of "The Walking Dead"

Woke up this morning to find people cheering about a right-wing ideologue's death. Disgusting. You people leave poor Davy Jones alone!

A Lannister always seeds his torrents.