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Superbowl tip: Wash the buffalo sauce off before dry-fucking your bros.
I shall rip you the fart of my people.
That fart was the bluegrass version of a whale's distress call.
Friends is the Dave Matthews Band of sitcoms.
I'm tired of binge-watching my kids grow up.
Storm tip: Pull out for goodness sake
The problem with Snuggies is all the skidmarks on your couch.
You could do better. Just kidding.
I'll have 50 chicken mcnuggets, one for every state in the union.
Valentines tip: Instead of flowers, surprise her with your gaping butt pussy.