Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Catch me at the farmers market selling those pies from The Help.
I prolapse on the first date.
That fart was so pungent it had time to get a quote from Progressive.
I collect old weaves off the ground and when I catch someone lying I put a weave in their mouth.
Who me? I'm just here to bring the drama, Your Honor.
Staycation, Day 6: New dustpan!
Retirement homes smell weird from all that unprotected sex.
I'll have what she's having. *steals the bitch's plate*
Parents can put "Executive Chef" on their resume because they're always preparing quality meals for spoiled assholes who don't even eat it.
My dandruff is so bad I can't even send birthday cards without causing an anthrax scare.
I don't care what happens to Elián González at this point.
I assume Caillou ends with preschool suicide.
That fart is active in the community.
Stupid prison won't allow a conjugal visit unless I can name the prisoner.
Shawty had them challenging yet attainable goals.
A Wrinkle in Taint, if you will.
Please excuse my son from reading A Wrinkle in Time. As I recall, that book is some motherfuckin' buuullshit.
Go off the grid by powering your home with family tension.
I turned down a free home security system from a door-to-door salesman today, so I guess this is Goodbye.