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I'm a member of the CVS Beauty Club thank you very much.
So far the highlight of my Summer was the dead squirrel in our kiddie pool.
3-year-old deletes her 4-year-old Facebook account, citing privacy concerns.
I once rode in a taxi that didn't stink and it was terrifying.
Colorado: Where At Least There's Weed
FOX News Poll: Are American Voters Finally Ready To Shove President Hillary Clinton Up Our Conservative Asses?
Fool just broke his neck trying to look away from me so fast.
If you had to eat one person's face, how would you sneak up on Andie MacDowell?
Unfollowing stupid people makes me poop.
Yahoo confesses that all of its users are lame stepmoms
Denny's employees must wash their hands before returning to jail from work release.
Cracker Barrel employees must wash their hands in a dog's mouth before returning to work.
Chugging bottles of Plexus so I can get in on the sweet class action lawsuit three years from now.
Walk up to the club like you're holding puke in with your hand.
I've found that most UPS drivers wear brown thong underwear.
Eating a bucket of chicken behind a handkerchief because I'm refined.
Podcasts remind me of work
Was Vincent Gallo ever alive?