Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Restaurant tip: Have the chef take a photo of your food since he's already fucking around on his disgusting phone back there.
I'm eligible for a Klout perk?! *shits on boss*
The Internet told me I could put an iPhone 6 up my ass and now it stinks.
I just want someone to hold their hand over my mouth while I throw up.
You're never too old to look at your life and say "fuck."
Christ gets Christmas, Satan gets Halloween. That's the deal. Now pledge allegiance to the Devil or you don't get any candy.
Redbox quietly raises late fee to $500,000 per day
ISIS needs to fire their PR guy, like yesterday.
I was disqualified from our office's Biggest Loser challenge for taking a shit during my final weigh-in.
Friday fails to satisfy after an entire week of hardcore slacking.
Also there is no God and/or everything is trying to kill you.
God never gives us more than we can handle. In other words, he designed us to be punching bags.
Ask about my obnoxious habit of controlling every conversation!
50 Ways to Leave a Floater
Yik Yak makes me feel young again. (Bored, confused, alienated, etc.)
Don't forget to call your dad and wish him a happy Rocktober!