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Today's Groupon: 99 cents off a dry handjob because my palm is covered in Andy Capp's Hot Fries crumbs
I still ain't received my Obama money
Hemorrhoid cushion for sale. Slight diarrhea odor. Okay, strong diarrhea odor.
Reppin' IBS to tha fullest
Little Caesars HOT-N-READY $5 Lunch Combo, because we all know how this ends.
2 whip-its to paradise
Three youngsters walk into a fart. Welcome home, Kids.
Biggie Smalls rapped about a sponge bath like it's sexy and not unfathomably disgusting.
The more things change the more they're not my tampon
"Wake up, Sheeple!" - Shitple
Kiss Mommy's cold sore and make it better! #RVA
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