Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Diaper boxes are great for storing all the things you'll never have time for again.
Walk up to the club like: "Where's your Lost And Found? My friend left a placenta here last week."
I bet the worst thing about cancer is how everyone just expects you to fight it.
That fart bowls in a league.
Damn my big beautiful labes.
High in saturated farts.
Walk up to the club like "Is there someplace I can dump my shitty underwear?"
The afterlife sounds like a pain in the ass.
Finally found the Groupon offer that's gonna turn my life around.
The best home security is a scary old person.
I eat Veggie Stix for the fartz.
Home of the dry blowjob.
Sex tip: Stuff a Cosmo up his butt.
It's weird that cats don't lay eggs.
Idea: Cargo socks
I buy cigarettes at the deli because they'll cut the filters off for you.
You're never more than 100 yards from some guy pissing all over a toilet seat.