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I didn't choose the 4.0 life.
The 4.0 life didn't choose me either
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms.
Why did I decide to like all these annoying facebook groups a year ago. #firstworldpains
My iMessage isn't working, so I have to send an ugly green text message.
I want to write an online bio, but I can't think of anything.
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