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"Thanks, you're a lightsaber." - Something I'd say to my lightsaber after every battle if I were a Jedi
We can put a man on the moon, but we can't figure out how fucking stupid it is to compare that to everything?
What do you mean, put the phone down and make iContact? What is that, a new app?
Maybe it's the optimist in me, but I really like having sex with optimists
OMG. I just realised I never once made a "Jenny and the Bets" joke the WHOLE time my aunty Jenny was a gambling addict. :(
Eminem is such a homophone
Actually, ethics in games journalism is the name of the scientist who created the monster
"Girls just wanna have funds" - Cyndi Pauper
Still don't know what the fuck Ello is; I'm just gonna keep assuming it has something to do with that hospitable worm in Labyrinth
Pretty sure I wanted a sex dream about Jon Snow but instead I got one about Ser Jorah Mormont so thanks for that whoever
I can't believe how much spinal health I've sacrificed for Netflix
Shadin' fraud: pretending to shade someone and delighting in their cringing faceful of sun when you move
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