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Today in 1949, Billy Joel was born. Authorities now believe that, in fact, he did start the fire.
Seriously though it takes some guts to look up at the Hulk and say "fuck it, I'm just going to rollerskate at you REALLY REALLY HARD"
just saw some kids wailing on some van driver for branding his vehicle up with a ‘jank ass typeface’ with ‘shit kerning’ & a non vector logo
ever had one hot ear? that means ur skull has got stuck sideways and is screaming silently out of your ear hole
That moment when you accept that the books on your shelf & the apps on your phone will just get more & more disorganized & then you’ll die
I feel like a mug shot.
I want to go to the beach so very badly
Airport gate employee: "Have a good flight!" Me: "You too" damnit
I’m really sad I never learned how to glow in the dark.
Interior Decorating was an inside job
“GOD, women are all the same. I expect sex in return for feigned politeness and suddenly I’M THE BAD GUY???” he said, tilting his bad fedora