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When I was a kid, crappy singers didn't need to "feature" other crappy singers in their songs to make them even crappier.
if u watch the movie "up" upsimde-down it is abot a man flyimg upside dowm in baloon adn also the movie is caled "dn"
McDonald's should have a third window where you can trade in all the wrong shit they gave you at the second window.
I bet when a parent is sent to jail, they’re like “Oh darn!” for show, but inside they’re pretty jazzed.
happy mother's day let's all get together and celebrate by going to a restaurant and staring at our phones.
Mcdonalds showing people doing yoga in their commercials is like George Bush having a library named after him.
Noticing the terms "alcoholic"& "desecration" get thrown around a lot when you're drunk at a funeral.
Last night I swear I heard my beer tell me it loved me back…or maybe it was the bartender, but I wasn't talking to him.
Listen closely to a loud motorcycle revving its engine and you'll hear a child's voice asking "Dad, why won't you play catch with me?"
“Bleached an asshole today!” - diary entry from Guy Fieri’s hairdresser.
people need to worry less about gay marriage and more about the ridiculous amount of hashtags gay men use on instagram.
I'm just amazed that they filmed Mad Men so long ago and just decided to release it now
I eat, I cook, I have a cocktail now and then, and if I think of something clever, I write about it. Actually, I write even if it's not clever.
