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@footprintInSpam's (footprintsInTheSpam) recent favourites. See
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What do I put if I'm half-man, half-machine? #realcensus
@
jasonpermenter
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Chocolate milk is for closers.
@
sween
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70
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10% of Microsoft Employees Using iPhones: The Wall Street Journal over the weekend profiled iPhone usage among emp...
http://bit.ly/9a0LWk
@
MacRumorsRSS
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3
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Our 4-year-old son is supposed to be sleeping, but instead he's lying in bed alone singing "5 dollar foot long."
@
shapingthepage
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1
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Tools build productivity like keyboards build software.
Just means to an end—useless w/o care, skills, and actual work.
@
hotdogsladies
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I just pissed next to Tom Selleck.
@
lonelysandwich
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53
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Some mornings I just don't feel like getting drunk and throwing garbage at passing cars but who am I to question God's plan.
@
fireland
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Corey Haim has died.
Somewhere, Ben Affleck awakens in a cold sweat.
@
sween
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Whenever I watch porn, I can't help but think how that hamster is somebody's daughter. Or son. It's hard to tell. OMG am I a gay??
@
fireland
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Is it essentially a 2010's thing to copy your google cal, by hand, on to your paper calendar in the kitchen?
@
robotgirly
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I totally have these three Thai restaurants fooled that I don't eat Thai food every night.
@
jasonpermenter
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Spotted a homeless man w/ a coat around his shoulders & full-on James Brown hair. He's the hardest working man in no-business.
@
SarahKSilverman
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"Any idea u might have, it's a pretty good bet 5 othr ppl have a similar 1. At that point it becomes abt who executes it 1st." Adam Glickman
@
Lovatron
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Having cybrasex on the intranet.
@
daveshumka
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11
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Wait so they fired Andy Richter too??
@
jasonpermenter
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People sending you money out of the blue is always a pleasant surprise.
@
karenzeller8
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Enroute to the #TerraDome to ride with Phil and Joel. #bmx #flatland
@
scott_nagy
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Showering on the weekend like I think I'm better than other people.
@
sween
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I just heard about chatroulette, which means its already lame. Its what senators will be doing at the next state of the union address.
@
FrogScout
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Mall juxtaposition: VS announces that "sexy is back," whilst weebles at Auntie Anne's Pretzels announce "the butter goes with the caramel!"
@
robotgirly
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