Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
The next person that tells me how far they jogged gets to learn how much I masturbate.
I'm thinking that 'OMG! We have the same last name!' is enough for me to snag a date with Emma Stone - FOOLPROOF.
#ThatAwkwardMoment when you are waiting for the train, hear Cajuns talking and then realize IT'S COMING FROM YOU! #SwampAss
DON'T RUN WITH YOGA BALLS #ThingsILearnedFromRidiculousness
Guys, I don't know anything about Thatcher Prime - was she Autobot or Decepticon, I need to know if this death is good or bad :(
If you believe 'uncertainty' is an issue, punch yourself in the vagina.If you punched yourself in the vagina, you deserved it, Vagina-person
If you haven't pissed your pants while unintentionally keying your door, because you don't have a yard, you've never gotten drunk in NY.
THAT WAS AN INFIELD FLY! #SFGiants
If Reggie gets barred for that I'm pretty sure what I heard in my section last week will lead to death by ferret cuts sentencings to fans
Former platypus, registered forester, and flaming merkin enthusiast. President of the 'Brunch is For Assholes' club - meets every Sunday at 12:30pm.