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Let's be honest.
It's called a cell phone because you're trapped in it.
I'm on my second wife. She's somebody else's wife,but I'm on her.
Sorry you're breaking up. I can't hear you. Yes I know we're in the same room and not on the phone at all. No can't hear you. Sorry.
Mata at Piccadilly station in full United kit with 8 on the back,busking and playing I am the resurrection on a Spanish guitar.
If you retweet this you will live forever.
Life is too short to be on Twitter.
My next eighteen thousand tweets will attempt to discuss this in more depth.
Did you kno?
The average tweeter spends two hundred billion years of their life waiting for their twitter page to fucking refresh.
It's not a real Twitter addiction until you'd prefer to chop your cock off than your thumb.
Why block people when you can call them a cunt?
Post more about how many followers you've gained and lost. These tweets are fascinating.
United have never,ever lost a premier league game at Old ,trafford when leading at half time.played 200.won 188.drawn 12.lost ZERO.
Come over here and hold this dartboard while me and my blind mate throw knives at it.
Don't blame Danny Welbeck for saying he dreamed of playing for somebody else.
I always dreamed he'd play for somebody else as well.
Did you know? If you put a fifty pence piece in the microwave for exactly 78 seconds,then you are a cunt.
Manchester United have regained the title in the season following the last FOUR world cups.
Just a thought that hit me.
Obertan,Obertan does whatever a spider can.
Runs around,does fuck all.
When it rains he curls up in a ball. Look out.
Obertan is a mong.
Seventeen years today since Eric Cantona kicked that little prick in the stand.
Nobody has mentioned that Gerrard was a plate of shit.
Squillaci and Djourou are trending.it might as well be zippy and bungle.
I Find Ways.
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