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  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Let's be honest.

    It's called a cell phone because you're trapped in it.

    • 282
    • FAVS
    adorkknightDBwiddaDBi_NawalooKingsDontAgebaruuksamjohnftwTehNemsterthealien_earth
    • 216
    • RETWEETS
    jwdeal44hsskiteammascot__nurfarihaKingsDontAgeAGarcijuseemakaliaJazzzzzminaSaertjeMirror
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    I'm on my second wife. She's somebody else's wife,but I'm on her.

    • 114
    • FAVS
    Naughtybits247BooFricketyHoorebranded2axenbaneOutOnTheMoors2tickytackyMartinSRedfernLissabeanz
    • 61
    • RETWEETS
    OutOnTheMoors2tickytackyjokerjunkLissabeanzFrizerkaSandraNutsB_lowMeidiosityGinGander
    JaySaysStuff
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Life is too short to be on Twitter.
    My next eighteen thousand tweets will attempt to discuss this in more depth.

    • 61
    • FAVS
    GreenEyedLoonMichele82178556leaflover43theLK88howe007missskye81_Di_na_oculusmundi
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    corybowserMichele82178556EtobicokeErnietheLK88howe007missskye81_oculusmundimbruin95
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Sorry you're breaking up. I can't hear you. Yes I know we're in the same room and not on the phone at all. No can't hear you. Sorry.

    • 64
    • FAVS
    Giverney666gachRobertgrizzlyP_oculusmundiDanKCharnleyBeamishBoisgtblueeyesJulie_McGann1
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    Giverney666RobertgrizzlyP_oculusmundiJulie_McGann1XLCadillacScott_A_GilmoreLuvtoliftAGreaterMonster
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Mata at Piccadilly station in full United kit with 8 on the back,busking and playing I am the resurrection on a Spanish guitar.

    • 42
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleynoneofyours99CanadianMclovinmarkste71128147JohnDuffy21Truculent67PinkLipstitchhythemafia
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    hythemafianoneofyours99PinkLipstitchMarcmywords2Eliasfarrajlovemydogduckheron14tomcomerfordnut
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    If you retweet this you will live forever.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    _oculusmundileopardjrMarcmywords2Darlainkycandyland1996JohnDuffy21karlainvtRohitKohli236
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    _oculusmundibuddah_jMarcmywords2vaaaalentinohythemafiakarlainvtAkshayLuhadiyaRohitKohli236
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Did you kno?
    The average tweeter spends two hundred billion years of their life waiting for their twitter page to fucking refresh.

    • 68
    • FAVS
    _oculusmundiKirstieAnnnallthingspoeticScott_A_GilmoreGiverney666ThatTexassholeabbycohenwlCanadianMclovin
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    _oculusmundiKirstieAnnnScott_A_GilmorexkaylahjoellehythemafiaAkshayLuhadiyaRohitKohli236PinkLipstitch
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    It's not a real Twitter addiction until you'd prefer to chop your cock off than your thumb.

    • 51
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleysgtblueeyesXLCadillacGloGurLScott_A_GilmoremoreofffmeKrazykurtKurtnoneofyours99
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    XLCadillacScott_A_GilmoremoreofffmeKrazykurtKurtnoneofyours99PinkLipstitchkv8Eliasfarraj
    Just_Lee___
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Why block people when you can call them a cunt?

    • 43
    • FAVS
    kv8DanKCharnley1FionaHamilton5thCoronaMashudu27Jmybad62ToddJulie_McGann1
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    Jmybad62Todd818NewbieXLCadillacScott_A_Gilmoreangelfoodcake11BenjaminZZRTheDevilsMommy__
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Why isn't Foulkes playing? #BusbyOut.

    • 23
    • FAVS
    noneofyours99hythemafiakv8lovemydogduckArtistic_HLsaintratchetMrStevieG__Wozdog2
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    noneofyours99mtbartkowskiwozdog67Wozdog2HarryCH97JPizzleFIFAGrindleyTomSMTPersonaX
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Post more about how many followers you've gained and lost. These tweets are fascinating.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyTheMossman82berger2323Scott_A_GilmoreGiverney666katiegorewaxerKhaleddAhmedDreamAbsinthe
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    katfishTheMossman82Scott_A_GilmoreDreamAbsintheSamuelHLowenoneofyours99Bigskoolriting_LilMissSarcasm
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    United have never,ever lost a premier league game at Old ,trafford when leading at half time.played 200.won 188.drawn 12.lost ZERO.

    • 22
    • FAVS
    Burds_1CanadianMclovinJohnDuffy21kv8hythemafialovemydogduckBeingDBEASTShoutingGoddess
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    lovemydogduckBren27______________AkandeTemitayorSirChuyGaxiolapal_united28franditjsreeragtgykaye17
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Come over here and hold this dartboard while me and my blind mate throw knives at it.

    • 24
    • FAVS
    WoodsHere_oculusmundiDanKCharnleyGloGurLScott_A_GilmoreGiverney666Sayhikristynoneofyours99
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    _oculusmundiScott_A_GilmoregigipicolaCoxLavinSayhikristyminibella_noneofyours99PinkLipstitch
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Don't blame Danny Welbeck for saying he dreamed of playing for somebody else.

    I always dreamed he'd play for somebody else as well.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    kv8Amuckery__noneofyours99CanadianMclovinjohnpen08459392JohnDuffy2107_JK_07Gary_Young7
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    noneofyours99johnpen08459392klavierstukZaaks_11mufcokredBLR_HasherFaisal_RedDevilmufc67
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Did you know? If you put a fifty pence piece in the microwave for exactly 78 seconds,then you are a cunt.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    DanKCharnleyGloGurLScott_A_GilmoreBigskoolritingJohnDuffy21PinkLipstitchkv8ShoutingGoddess
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    Scott_A_GilmoreCoxLavinnoneofyours99PinkLipstitchkv8tania_nadmatt82saltMeowLeCat
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Manchester United have regained the title in the season following the last FOUR world cups.
    Just a thought that hit me.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    GloGurLBurds_1JohnDuffy21kv8mikey24evansgriffunitedcrash_ChordsFaysalKhan23
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    FesKayaniWeakyrishta_mufcSoS_InsaneRustum09MrRedPhilFideoMUFC7AngelMichael_7TNC_Justin
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Obertan,Obertan does whatever a spider can.
    Runs around,does fuck all.
    When it rains he curls up in a ball. Look out.
    Obertan is a mong.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    kv8GloGurLBolton0513PeterAsh84Bullshit_man1DylanB43thegweedash_ashbryant
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    PeterAsh84capthowdy66CliffB96Luhg89_RyanMUFC92Jody_Hillier86JarrenTrethowan99redmanmike
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Seventeen years today since Eric Cantona kicked that little prick in the stand.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    BigskoolritingJohnDuffy21kv8BeerhazeShoutingGoddessJumpingJesusHBulldog0613MrTurst
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    johnjudsonSim_MUFCchopmooseGraemeBandeiraElactron0xexplorerAbu_Madnessmaggie_1975mufc
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Nobody has mentioned that Gerrard was a plate of shit.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    JohnDuffy21kv8CbMayomayoiamNoelleweaponovchoiceRyanTahmassebidjrichreasonkmgwm
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    pierreddaorobbiepokerBToozaFifi_the_WitchsmokedoakJacquesLeFacew4key7maryam_zaheer
  • Freddy_Mash
      Fred @Freddy_Mash

    Squillaci and Djourou are trending.it might as well be zippy and bungle.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    JohnDuffy21kv8roadkill3xJumpingJesusHpjlynchMrTurstpiplips
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    MariaBartleyHogwartsWitch_Poshmanc2RantingJonbrookey_11__JennyMartin79PaulMelvjoem4tthews
@Freddy_Mash

@Freddy_Mash

I Find Ways.

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