Is your child being ironically retweeted by cyberbullies? Tonight at 11

Chrono Trigger has 13 different endings...could you remind me again how many Ulysses has?

the Venn Diagram of “People Who Feel Strongly About Fonts” and “People Who Feel Strongly About Food Trucks” is a circle

Day 3 of my boycott of corporations. The corps seem to be doing fairly well so far but I've got to stay strong.

wow, Hitler sure is mad. 1 q--why is he mad about the Oscars? did they even have those in the 1800s? great vid otherwise, liked & shared

I like Daft Punk but I'm really over the whole image thing. We get it, guys, you had rich robot parents and you went to a rich robot school.

Let the record show that the defendant is attempting to sell the judge a set of CutCo knives

if you don’t like my Tweets, they’re bad on purpose & I’m mocking the idea of someone who would think theyre good. so actually you love them

spent the last 6 hours clearing my throat so I’m almost ready to tell you that I don’t own a smartphone

me & my dinner date have been shouting "you're the man now dog" at each other for 5 min straight. this ones a keeper thanks okcupid

in addition to "Tweets" & "Following" & "Followers" Twitter should track "What Your Tweeting Has Accomplished" & it should just stay at 0

hahaha you LIKE things? not cool here. welcome to the internet. *puts on 8 pairs of shades, one by one, extremely slowly*

I take back my wish to live in a cyberpunk novel. I thought it would be more fun than this.

chemtrails over Lon Lon Ranch...soon all of Hyrule will be under Sharia Law

Religion: Norm Macdonald’s performance at the Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget

This Manti Te'o news is going to really screw up his NFL prospects. No one would want a batshit insane middle linebacker on their team.

going off my meds and watching Garden State. just want to feel something real

Now's not the time for gun control talk. We must mourn until this happens again, then mourn more, in cycles forever, never changing anything

I had forgotten whether or not I was a kid of the 90s, but this helpful post was just the thing to jog my memory

“Yes,” he mumbled, staring at the stream of transmissions from emotionally distant, ironic web personas, “I have found my people.”