Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Gal 1: knock knock. Gal 2: who's there? Gal 1: control freak- now u say CONTROL FREAK WHO?
Gonna take my muscle relaxer with coffee right now to see which one wins. Stay tuned..
"BOOM! You just got damned!"- the Devil
Its so hard not to laugh when u ask a 3 year old why he's crying & he says: "you hurt my HEART!" cuz I didn't let him play w/ my makeup bag
Nothing shows how bad USA's taste is as the fact that George Lopez, Charlie Sheen & Dane Cook R considered 'funny' or 'talented'
Ppl ask me: what do u normally do on Sundays? & I shrug, look down, then yell: SOLVE WORLD PROBLEMS! WHAT DO U DO?! #Makingfriends
#truthfultuesday when I was a kid I thought "necking" was 2 ppl rubbing necks 2gether & didn't get how that was so great.
"Hiiiii, I'm white noise & some of you are hard-core addicted/wired to me to fall into a deep, restful, sleep"- white noise :(
if guns kill people, does that mean that pencils make spelling errors? axing for a friend. with a gun. AND a pencil.
Marlee Matlin & NeNe Leaks are possibly the best team. Ever. For ANYthing.
Shoulda taken the Tylenol PM, shoulda taken the Tylenol PM, shoulda taken the Tylenol PM, shoulda taken the (yawn) Tylenol PM, shoulda ta
Just accidentally found an old ex b/friend's twitter account & was amazed by how mundane it is! Well, not really. I did dump him, after all.
Shush! I'm drinking while catching up on Celebrity Rehab.
Duck, duck, duck...grey goose!- adult games
Me: do u like baseball/volleyball better? Andrew: Dogball Me: Dodgeball? Andrew: Noo DOGball, when u throw the ball & dog gets it
"this might be the gas talking, but.." & "this is definitely the gas talking, but.." are now ingrained into my convo #30Rockrocks
Is extremely stoked for the martini I'm about to reward myself with for 7/8 hours w/ teething triplets :) #joy
WHY IS EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT DOGNUTS?!
IS NO ONE ELSE PLAGUED BY RAGING CURIOSITY ABOUT THE DYSON BLADELESS FAN?!?
Does anyone miss Cousin Balki as much as I do?
Old maid urban jungle farmer who nannies, DJ's, drinks & cooks- try not to faint. If u cant reach me, I'm probably shoveling bunny poopies...