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@FriedaClub
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Friends: 264
Followers: 323
Favs Given: 3,302
Favs Rec'd: 2,527
@FriedaClub's (Frieda Club) most faved Tweets...
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Those of you complaining Obama didn't deserve to win the Nobel Peace Prize obviously didn't catch the swimsuit portion of the competition.
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FriedaClub
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Garth Brooks is coming back? You have to cut off the head people. The HEAD.
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FriedaClub
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If you send me one more Mafia invite, we're playing for real motherfucker.
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FriedaClub
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It either snowed last night or Courtney Love sneezed on my lawn.
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FriedaClub
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Those people against Death Panels for old people have apparently never been stuck behind one doing 40mph in the passing lane.
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FriedaClub
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Hey. Does this smell like chloroform to you?
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FriedaClub
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Listening to IT guy explain GoogleWave gives me a better understanding of the look on my Golden Retriever's face as he watches me masturbate
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FriedaClub
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Just calculated the number of squirrels you could pack into a hollow Lady Gaga.
So I can't say this meeting was a COMPLETE waste of time.
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FriedaClub
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Eating spicy nachos & masturbating are both enjoyable.
Just not in that order.
According to the woman sitting in the drinking fountain.
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FriedaClub
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My god is patient, kind and is always there for me. My god loves to roll over and fetch. Best of all, my god doesn't mind that I'm dyslexic.
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FriedaClub
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My age? Flirty banter w/the bartender whispers 26, but interrupting it for my air drum solo of Phil Collins' "In The Air Tonight" screams 41
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FriedaClub
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Did anyone tell Rush Limbaugh that even if he buys the St. Louis Rams, he still doesn't get to take them back to his plantation?
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FriedaClub
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This hormone replacement therapy does seem to be helping with the hot flashes.
But it sure does make my balls itch.
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FriedaClub
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I honestly felt my therapist and I were making progress. But recently it's been all safe word THIS, and safe word THAT.
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FriedaClub
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Dear neighbor with the loud motorcycle, Just because it is only the SOUND of a tiny penis waking me up, does not make it any less traumatic.
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FriedaClub
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Fishing my iPhone out of the rehab clinic crapper. Fuck those people; I can quit anytime I want. Oops. They’ve spotted me. Just one more twe
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Drawing the ire of my coworkers for whistling in my cubicle. Oh, and not wearing pants. And the badger. Mostly the badger.
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FriedaClub
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One of my nipples just cracked off and shattered on the sidewalk.
How long until Spring?
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FriedaClub
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Get UP people. Time to make the funny. This ass is not going to roll around on the floor and laugh ITSELF off.
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FriedaClub
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This new Trojan ecstasy condom fits like a glove. At least that's the consensus of these five gentlemen at the bar.
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