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Lemme get 2 grey gooses.
Wait. Lemme get 2 grey geese.
That ain't right either.
Fuck it. Just get me a flock of vodka.
Off is the general direction in which I wish u would fuck
ur luck is so bad u could jump in a barrel of titties & come out suckin a dick
Lil Mama is waaaay too manly. Come in the bedroom like, "Yoooooo, son. Word to my muvva. I'ma suck ya dick OFF, son!"
i don't make mistakes. i make memories.... bitch.
My daughter told me I'm getting too good at lying. Fuck that bitch. I do what I want. Also I don't have a daughter.
92% of girls that tweet only a simple smiley face either just got dicked down real good or found a 50% off shoe sale
Q. What's the difference between love, true love & showing off? A. Spitting, swallowing & gargling.
I wonder if Buzz and Woody have ever met Andy's mom's toys. I mean, they probably have the same name
Dropped the lighter into the bong... good thing I have one more.
That other one will just have to sit there and think about what it did.
Can I get a reeeeefiiiiiillllll - Paul Ryan
I ain't buying no Apple products for a toddler. Jesus got a used drum for his birthday. Fuck you need an ipad for?
Don't trust them new niggas over there. - old African proverb
Having a baby really changes the way you think and feel about certain things. It's not "acting brand new" it's growing the fuck up.
I don't tweet for attention or DMs. I tweet shit that comes to mind that I think you might get a kick out of or I just feel like sharing.
I am saved. I may not act like it and that's not something I'm proud of. I'm not perfect. I never will be. But I DO know who my Father is.
"How you doin today?" "DID YOU ASK THOSE GROUPIE BITCHES HOW THEY WAS DOIN WHEN YOU HAD THEM AROUND MY SON?!?!"