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  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    I have so much paperwork to do that the only reasonable option seems to be to just burn the office down.

    • 287
    • FAVS
    kingamirattheUCHrBrysanthonythomaslovemypsychosistech_pirateThe_MentalystHeyZeus666
    • 78
    • RETWEETS
    attheUCfilthybeggar1__tech_piratelisaloobylooloovoirdire58SuMacDanBottleOfDeathchorch89
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    TEAM = Together Everyone Annoys Me

    • 175
    • FAVS
    SideBurnywarhorse76MulletAbbiScreaminZeman____ChrisTNotChristtissytassy13______Midgetsparthereverendcink
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    jenniferginerpdoloresanus____ScreaminZeman____BigDHoneyBee______AldenteGuidatheedgeofchris__MissRuzDukeOfOyl________
    MadAxes
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    If a girl rolls her eyes at something I said, I just assume she’s having an orgasm.

    • 312
    • FAVS
    kingamirsquiggIelineAngelaAllisozgirl777CelebrityChezattheUCWheelTodcollo_world
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    VirgoSherryattheUCRobstarKariscollo_worldsanthonythomasRideSallyRide69ScreaminZeman____Tenacious_B247
    VirgoSherryEmoSobbyPyrBliss
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    Quit talking about how crappy Monday is for you at work. Everyday at work sucks just as much.

    • 43
    • FAVS
    Caroline_Hno1singazongItsBeeYouTeeFulhernameismud______MikeSchismCroweJamRachelJ833arkhmommy
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    M_TururuJomMarn3963Andie_DavidsonEdmondDantes82GraydonULeoFantasiaanne_hedoniasliceoflife4u
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    If absence makes the heart grow fonder, the new boss is going to *love* my new two-day work weeks.

    • 579
    • FAVS
    kingamirVirgoSherryacycoattheUCWheelTodlllvvvzzznocturnologySternoShots
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    kingamirVirgoSherryacycoattheUCCroweJamlllvvvzzzSternoShotsTorriable
    GetbentLAlllvvvzzz________
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    I got a free hypnosis session today by watching a 210 slide PowerPoint presentation.

    • 61
    • FAVS
    ChristiansenLclllvvvzzzKarmaKameebcolditzseeing_voicesabzvillebubblysqueaks____Annekinns
    • 34
    • RETWEETS
    dchristiansen34lllvvvzzzbcolditzAnnekinnsNilu_2012cameronjthomasanucool360atthylotusfeet
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    Bin Laden died and was greeted by 72 Catholic priests.

    • 57
    • FAVS
    HerPinkRibbonsdesertnurse_retweetingfoolSuMacDanComedianKristiRelocatable12inch_vertical__StatusInBeirut
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    sach33Favstar500FavsSparkles_FMcFaddenMinute_matilda__A_Peabodyhg47D3fStL
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    You know you can't spell families without lies.

    • 425
    • FAVS
    kingamirAngelaAllisbeingtheoWho_IsMVirgoSherryacycoattheUCnocturnology
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    Who_IsMVirgoSherryattheUCmayrabuzzedPablizzleWizzleTheDudeSaysThisBuzzzzzkilltech_pirate
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    A conservative friend called me a socialist. I asked him the definition of a socialist & he couldn’t tell me, so I called him a dumbass.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    GarreTheFerretllvvzzFreddy_SiroccoBrattyBarbieXalqeeTheCrazyMommaSuMacDanKarenZachary
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    Sgbb7__BurkewalililBingalingarthistoriankatSabarfun__________KawaiiMagpieangiecarnathanma_fowler
    FancyCookinMofo
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    During job interviews, when they ask, "What is your worst quality?", I always say, "Flatulence." That way you get your own office.

    • 373
    • FAVS
    kingamirVirgoSherryattheUCWheelTodSissiSayTorriableHrBryThe_Mentalyst
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    attheUCWheelTodThe_RedSheepdogMajjorMwangiSir_SlashdopeFreakiTinaThe_MentalystSideBurny
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    My 12 Step Program contains only one step.

    1. Stay in denial

    • 303
    • FAVS
    attheUCsanthonythomasThe_MentalystJumpingJesusHComoSayEskimojeffreyvanclea1SideBurnywarhorse76
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    attheUCBottleOfDeathEhabFffffNeutrontrilogyFavstar250GeneralGreviousDukeOfOyl________HauteAlexa________
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    Somebody kidnapped my motivation today.

    • 50
    • FAVS
    buck4ittSuMacDanCrowetoonsllvvzzzthis503girl______TheLastVirgoCh8rminggreggified________
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsDonjayemanPakinam_WalidJoyner19fmorgan2k9Carla_11_20MayarAbdelGhanySohaylaKhaled
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    Bashing someone’s creativity doesn’t make you an insightful critic. It makes you full of shit.

    • 64
    • FAVS
    thereverendcinkheidicsGetbentLAdietredbullQuipQueen36KatarinaKrizoldkimcoleFussySaffa
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    nauveenPhyreAcidsWeetDisTract____favstar_popJavyMachoFavstar500FavsbakefestJimmyStaxXx
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    After 10 Dos Equis beers, I think I'm the most interesting man in the world.

    • 307
    • FAVS
    EmilyEmber_attheUCThe_MentalystJumpingJesusHMsGreenGoddessDiaperSlingercalebperryhereMichelleVitagrl
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    attheUCjeffreyvanclea1KBLifeFactsdoloresanus____ScreaminZeman____SariastrategosDeschainGilead____Andyg1110
    Roadfilm__________
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    It's comforting to think that every person on this planet had to be potty trained.

    • 453
    • FAVS
    kingamirVirgoSherryacycoattheUCWheelTodlllvvvzzznocturnologySternoShots
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    acycoattheUClllvvvzzzSternoShotsTorriableHeroineAddictMaxine12333The_Mentalyst
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    Ever notice how some people will never interact with you here? I always wondered what it’s like to be trapped in a cocoon of narcissism.

    • 59
    • FAVS
    GetbentLAHerPinkRibbonsdesertnurse_OldGloryTeesVibrantGoddessNamelessdweb__kennyhcomedylmayart
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    henry_gilbertFavstar500FavszombiexfileScilixxPastel_rainbowsIslaElizabethmrswheelieInamorata_Jenny
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    Did Shit My Dad Says run out of shit?

    • 61
    • FAVS
    LavenderpantsFussySaffaAndrewNabbasMistookMistakeIrish_girlieSlickWhambone__vladchocPeachyisk
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    ChristineVeeElephartfavstar_popMinneMaggotOlcrackerFavstar500Favsjmarchesejoanmoans
    BoazAlmighty
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    There’s a fine line between being cocky and being a dick.

    • 108
    • FAVS
    thereverendcinkSheila_Mac420heidicskawaikonekokunBourbon_luv______HappyGoFuckidyVotremelodieMinaliBhatia
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    kawaikonekokunTheAmericanZackPawanKookaniBourbon_luv______VotremelodieMinaliBhatianizaam325Favstar_NSFW
    MielTrempe________
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    I'm tired of my wife's crap. "Fold the laundry!" "Take out the garbage!" "Please, please don't light the cat on fire" ....Nag, nag, nag.

    • 258
    • FAVS
    VirgoSherryEmilyEmber_attheUCSissiSayThe_Mentalystphilbarnard96slopoke1000hangin_out
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    attheUCslopoke1000Smiley_VirusssFavstar250CTinaMarie1119____FuzzyPimpleTheReal_Nobodyyzupp
    FlyoverJoel
  • funnyguy
      Norm @funnyguy

    Everything that sucks eventually ends, like this year.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    Sassy_WabbitSuMacDanNone0fYourBizJoyLushClubWubbyMcGubbybenn_doverllvvzzz1mp3Rial
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    ShineInDark1mp3Rialbethycoofrancielouwho_Lum_B____o3MichellSweet_TalviaElectricMidnite
@funnyguy

@funnyguy
Pro

I'm a fake BS principle on everything in life. I live in my head. I like card tricks. For entertainment purposes only.