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#FamousLies - From The movie TITANIC. "I'll never let you go, Jack. I promise." *Lets go of Jack's hand, he sinks and dies.*
#LiesThatAlwaysWorked - "I DO." by Kim Kardashian.
#Top100Lies - "I'll be there in 5 minutes."
#FamousLies - "I have read and accepted all Terms & Conditions."
#iReallyHateWhen friends change just because they met new people.
#LiesThatAlwaysWorked - I have read and accepted all Terms & Conditions.
#TwoThingsThatDontMix - Hashtags and Facebook.
#ThingsThatFrustrateMe inishing a good tweet, having -1 characters left, and then having to decide which grammar crime to commit.
#ifyouknowmeyouknow I am not a morning person. Do not pull the covers off me. I WILL KILL You.
#ThingsIHateAboutFacebook - You can't update your status every 5 minutes, like on Twitter, without people thinking you're crazy.
Tomorrow is April Fools Day. Believe nothing, and trust no one. "So it's like any other day. Right?" #AprilFools
#LiesThatAlwaysWorked - "Everybody failed that test mom..."
3 apples changed the world: Adam and Eve's forbidden apple, Newton´s apple and finally, Steve Jobs´s Apple. Happy Birthday Steve Jobs.
#TwoThingsThatDontMix - ME and Cigarettes. . . . . . RT if you don't smoke, and proud of it (̅_̅_̅_̅(̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()~
#TheWorstFeeling is waking up from an awesome dream and realizing it didn't actually happen. RT if you hate that too.
#10ThingsIWantToHappen 1) To earn money without working. 2) To pass exams w/o studying. 3) To love w/o being hurt. 4) Eat w/o getting fat.
#ThingsThatINeed : 1) To earn money without working. 2) To pass exams w/o studying. 3) To love w/o being hurt. 4) Eat w/o getting fat.
#TwoThingsThatDontMix Holiday & Homework.
#DontThinkJustBecause I'm not talking to you, doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you.
I'm a comedian, top tweeter, trend setter, and instagrammer. △▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△▼△Business: firstname.lastname@example.org Follow us on Instagram - @funnyorfact
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