My pillow gets head , my chair gets ass and if I'm lucky I get a star YAY !!!

Twitter is like a truck stop , you think you're gona run in there for a second and your ride leaves you ...

Some tweets make you smile , some chuckle or fall down all laughing .Then the rare ones are like they pulled that tweet out of your soul .

Before sex , you help each out of clothes n all . After sex you dress yourself. Moral once you're fucked no ones gona help you

My sexual preference is ...often .

Baby it's not cheating if I don't swallow right ?

We say Twitter is not RL but some of you shared with me your pains , fears , your joys and life changing moments seems pretty real to me ..

A quiet man is a man in deep thought .
A quiet woman is a ticking bomb .

A gentleman never ever tells but his smile does .

I'm mentally trained to be here . I have a degree in sarcasm . But my specialty is bullshit . I'm not cheap, I charge by the star .

Never underestimate the power of a woman's heart to let go ..

Here I go again on my own , like a drifter I was born to walk alone ..and then there was Twitter .

Officer I have perfectly good explanation for speeding , I have tourette syndrome in my right foot .

You broke it , I picked it up and made a beautiful collage . It's not the same or perfect but it's still me and always will be .

Crap , my pussy has a 5:00 shadow !

Taking these meds and bottle says do not breast feed while on them , going to have to call one of those nursing maids for my BF .

Star if you agree http://t.co/m1b1cnFa

You can lie to your lover , mother , priest , who ever , but if you lie on Twitter they can smell you a mile away , except allergy freaks

It doesn't matter what you tell yourselves darling tweeters the reason we are here , we are all filling some hole in ourselves fun or not .

My bad that I didn't tell my BF it wasnt my nipple he was sucking on last night in his sleep , oh well I needed that pimple squeezed