Period's late, haven't had sex, I must be carrying the next Jesus.

I have Bieber fever - as in, every time I think of him I feel sick.

Remember on Bebo when you'd write everything in <b>bold</b> and <i>italic</i>.

I think if you saw my Facebook and my Twitter you'd think I was two completely different people.

We say we have our best friends, yet we stab them in the back.

hi, i'm a chav. i love when we collide by biffy clyro and rescue me by you and me at six. am i indie yet?

There's a fine line between taking inspiration from your friends and just copying them.

I'm homophobic-phobic.

This is a blackout, and you'll find out; it's gonna come and take everything you love away.

I have more coat hangers in my wardrobe than I do clothes.

#randomconfession i don't think i've ever had a valentine's card before.

Have faith in me, cause there are things I have seen I don't believe.

Don't blink, they won't even miss you at all.

TWITTER Y U SO DEAD.

It'd be safer to hate her than to love her and lose her.

RT if you like Justin Bieber, and I'll unfollow you.

I always feel like staff at McDonald's are looking down on me. Then I remember which one of us is working in McDonald's.

Hard To Swallow by You Me At Six never fails to make me think of blowjobs.

When you unfollow someone then their tweets are retweeted all over your timeline, and you're like "is this some kind of guilt thing or.."

I wonder if people ever find me funny.