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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    Gift @g0m Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 7,300
    • LIKES
    smizzofrenicnaDoubleRinNKYkristinehahhaAndrew_CraverLiquidMetalBoarStiquidjawdinbakerGaberinno
    • 3,358
    • RETWEETS
    hpziallStiquidbrother_nature_ultimatejuiclnternetMememeeplordJotaroKakyoinDwightXJim
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    Just got the new twitter layout - not too sure what all the fuss is about tbh. Seems ok pic.twitter.com/NichDulTUz

    • 4,255
    • LIKES
    nprovenchJamesHarIeyisabellequigsJoyce063TrahMadlahchill_brehweedcoffinclassic_shoe
    • 2,714
    • RETWEETS
    JamesHarIeyJoyce063SleestakweedcoffinshmouflonheythisisbrianMyne__Picachures
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    me: I'll leave the hall light on, so burglars won't break in.
    burglar: That wasteful fucker left the lights on. Let's break in and kill him

    • 2,025
    • LIKES
    BryainiacAlexBringstonqueerandangrydiamondftmarinahaileyeh_STTeephenBantigvenightxspeaks
    • 744
    • RETWEETS
    AlexBringstonsaichanasaurusvulpixblackbitchmachinepunpkinprincecrazyhootghtoastStormtheLewis
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    men, this tweet is for US GUYS ONLY! NO GIRLS ALLOWED IN THIS TWEET! WELCOME TO THE TESTOSTER-ZONE!! do you guys ever get sad

    • 1,305
    • LIKES
    therzjcoolbiRdpicsCooper_Carringmichael_carter2cgo_aliveFiaca4softconejitoK1ng0fSilence
    • 766
    • RETWEETS
    ichigo_hollow02cgo_aliveFiaca4softconejitokhanvicted_Khan_Fuciusfuddlemarkcoolstuffforboy
    Hella_Radpartiallyprodammitbabies__
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    HEY POETS: do you ever fuck or do you just lay down and trace each others outlines with your breath or whatever

    • 1,313
    • LIKES
    PressButtonR__softconejitofuddlemarkDaggetoFiaca4HeyOpossumh__LesBleusRusseShayHaile__
    • 719
    • RETWEETS
    mentholsushiPressButtonR__shikilloylactmkagejl_94Carlangas_TangazondawaveKonekoSenseisoftconejito
    Kalarlisideaot
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    me as a waiter: heres your eggs genedict. sorry, benedict. haha
    [hours later in a mirror] christ you asshole. genedict? youre pathetic. fuck

    • 857
    • LIKES
    incestguy_maggers_therzjcoolbiRdpicsJohn24231alan_lrFiaca4softconejito
    • 290
    • RETWEETS
    mentholsushiTheRoawrFiaca4softconejitoBurds_1fuddlemarkHeyOpossumh__coolstuffforboy
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    If you play the new Muse album backwards it sounds like a mediocre radiohead ripoff desperately vying for relevance, playing backwards

    • 549
    • LIKES
    michael_carter2sokrotweetsfuddlemarkchristinawilderBearVolumeFlemishPepPepwood4sheep_dangerously_
    • 301
    • RETWEETS
    SensitiveMediaExploderizerDigiWelchrymarsdenpreshtildeathchinchillasaur__papa_death_69warped_tourist
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    me: this soup is borat voice very nice
    date: Did you just say "borat voice" and then not do a borat voice
    me: yes.

    • 539
    • LIKES
    TehlivingpencilerichasinternettherzjmartinluigafoodpyramidsSebbeCaballerosm_hullcoolbiRdpics
    • 216
    • RETWEETS
    skagedalincredible_asstrillbinJoffCallaghanvacantmouthBenditaLocuraBSastro_cakeSpiderHyphenMan
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    kid: bullies only bully me because theyre jealous of me.
    bully: fuck... I wish i was weak and pathetic. I wish I was fun to punch and kick

    • 459
    • LIKES
    _maggers_ConnorBRapsrenaarddtitulotentativoid_drawingsDaggetoBurds_1fuddlemark
    • 154
    • RETWEETS
    otaquitofauxprioribaldazzospiderfingersarid_drawingssjiscatOugi_kunPressButtonR__
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    hey girl. why not come back to my place. i've got a big... thing. the thing that's good when it's big. you know. cmon girl give me a hint

    • 450
    • LIKES
    lorenbcoolbiRdpicsBurds_1fuddlemarkchristmasJAKEMcTangletibbaroenpus_sycatt__
    • 163
    • RETWEETS
    McTanglehighwaterslacks__Yung_EarthZanderCat_oh_stephanieee__int0cc001357notmattm__
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    death... the spiciest meatball of all

    • 398
    • LIKES
    Shiny_LlamaBengalBatmanficknalgoutprezzoforteSteveSubriziSwedenDCmeldrewchambersHatercles
    • 197
    • RETWEETS
    CarrrlislethwphippsExploderizerSynthJonah__GeorgeRTerryDesuDesuBitchesdatcraylayangh0st
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    Hitlers cum? Ha, you must be mistaken, traveler. Hitlers cum is long gone [CLUTCHES AMULET CONTAINING VIAL OF HITLERS CUM BENEATH CLOAK]

    • 395
    • LIKES
    michael_carter2alan_lrFiaca4Kind_N_Coolfuddlemarkinstain_mothercrystalblistersfurkle_
    • 121
    • RETWEETS
    alan_lrFiaca4softconejitoKillGoldfishsindri_ukDliessmggBicepCzar420weedcoffin
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    could drinking straight vodka actually be good for your health? "ow sure ow yeah whatever ow" says one scientist we pelted with bars of soap

    • 314
    • LIKES
    coolbiRdpicsfuddlemarkAndr3sL0K0McTangleBurds_1coolwebsiteuser__SamanthaTildeCullanDiffee
    • 176
    • RETWEETS
    McTanglejacobTisRadCullanDiffeebrettd1212hashtagswag777drubkgoat__AlexEbelingshilohorourke
    _Jim_Fear
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    Spice up your love life with that "special someone" by fucking them

    • 315
    • LIKES
    daisukiangelalan_lrfuddlemarkFiaca4krokodil_luvrAhirShahmichael_carter2jameslemm
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    Gateeetonekochikalan_lrsoftconejitoFiaca4HeyOpossumh__krokodil_luvruuiuu
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    "THEY CAN'T ARREST ALL OF US", I yell to some babies in a ball pit. Later, in my cell, I concluded that they never really needed to

    • 325
    • LIKES
    fuddlemarkAndr3sL0K0ZachPeMcTanglekingoffthebeach_NinJarMC_MaurerKrillNye__
    • 136
    • RETWEETS
    fuddlemarkpprinplupMcTangleteh_galenMustacheDadyoungthugfanaccscawn_unbub_
    Weedcoffin__
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    Me applying for MENSA: If I had to guess, my IQ is probably about 175, maybe 180
    MENSA recruiter: Holy SHIT. Are you serious. That's so high

    • 381
    • LIKES
    usvthemanTRILL______LIFE_BoatHouse_JackWilliamRtFDBstandsforwwwdotdeathrahatarmanahmedjyoungblood
    • 76
    • RETWEETS
    TRILL______LIFEhann9000coolgarydotnethail2thechimpVeryNiceBoy1990Standplaats_KRKGummySkeletonSuperSpacedad
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    Q1. What sound does an animate skeleton collapsing make
    a) a clattering sound
    b) xylophone sound

    Mostly A's: screw you man
    Mostly B's: nice

    • 324
    • LIKES
    ConnorBRapsRoboshamfuddlemarkdilbydarlingSignorMacchinaDeluxeGarbagevanick_chaitertot
    • 118
    • RETWEETS
    CongaDesBrymerkinsHashtagBetxxxxaamasimpleseanmoondepothibster_Jud089
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    best day of my life: found a piece of paper with "1,000,000" written on it
    worst day: run over by a truck driven by a second, smaller truck

    • 326
    • LIKES
    benfraternalesuper_ghostscapncrotchrotSP_Sourthejunkmaleshuffakingit1_900_saxophonezachhald
    • 80
    • RETWEETS
    rcgiffrob_strifeheartandrewbutworseFreeeedleshower_violencePhilipYountmybuddysuperflyOhWowHmm
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    if you look at naked tits upside down they look like a calculator

    • 245
    • LIKES
    therzjMcTanglekingoffthebeachchristmasJAKEcoolwebsiteuser__unbub_SaintGatoradegrantyO
    • 109
    • RETWEETS
    t3rrariumEstebandagreatmerzbae__Graby_Babycooldotcom________beansycastsevendeadlywins__lookoutwoah
  • g0m
      g0m @g0m

    "uh no dude it's not gay if it's in space" -literally every astronaut

    • 220
    • LIKES
    _maggers_coolbiRdpicsfuddlemarksjklagefriendgolemcouch_lordDrLickensteinanamericangod
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    Burds_1brettd1212bradcesanekEstebandagreatBlackSundaysSFEmmaParsons12Hella_Radwhale_boner
@g0m

@g0m

g0m

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