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  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    STOP YELLING INTO YOUR CELLPHONE AND HOLDING IT LIKE A WALKIE-TALKIE. YOU'RE ON A BUS; NOT IN A WAR-ZONE.

    Also, it works just like a phone.

    • 532
    • FAVS
    Boo_berries_RachaelBooksSwarleyQuinnBayouOwlMcInappropriateStillMadMompuffinfinityKevinDeanGander
    • 248
    • RETWEETS
    McInappropriaterabbertklienNorCalBrattLipglosslesboALadiesHeartJjkinky49JeffOutOnTheMoorsBlondAmbitionTO
    WhosTheresa
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I want to unfollow and block someone in real life. Is that still called "punching them in the face?"

    • 228
    • FAVS
    McInappropriaterichjohnStillMadMompuffinfinityNorCalBrattfellbehindginaod1066ALadiesHeart
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    StillMadMomALadiesHeartJjkinky49JeffOutOnTheMoorssheilalastnameMarianneACOTAGinGanderGanderGin
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Someone on Twitter who tweets only in Spanish starred one of my tweets. Gracias. But, no comprende.

    • 242
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateStillMadMomNorCalBrattALadiesHeartJjkinky49JeffOutOnTheMoorsVintageBabe1212Vice_Queen
    • 60
    • RETWEETS
    Jjkinky49JeffOutOnTheMoorssheilalastnameaimlessamersshesananteaterHow_HardyRyseRiceColerabbithole423
    bourbonmelikey
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Gonna go home, make a turkey sandwich and ponder why not a single person on the bus thanked me for not murdering every last one of them.

    • 203
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateelib11StillMadMompuffinfinityfellbehindALadiesHeartJjkinky49Jeffbrianbowman73
    • 53
    • RETWEETS
    StillMadMomJjkinky49JeffOutOnTheMoorsMind_fukksheilalastnameFilthypigeon80StacyA600NotYourSoulmate
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Advice my dad gave my vegetarian girlfriend tonight: "You should probably eat a steak once in a while, just to shock your system."

    • 192
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateNorCalBrattALadiesHeartJjkinky49JeffVintageBabe1212Vice_QueenMoonHealingsheilalastname
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    ALadiesHeartJjkinky49JeffsheilalastnameTRBLmakerJBSNotYourSoulmate_theigirlminnie_in_pink7RyseRiceCole
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Screw YOU, Words With Friends; "nookie" is a perfectly cromulent word.

    • 182
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateStillMadMomALadiesHeartJjkinky49JeffegbjesterOrWasItOutOnTheMoorsVintageBabe1212
    • 47
    • RETWEETS
    ALadiesHeartJjkinky49JeffOrWasItOutOnTheMoorssheilalastnameMarianneACOTAaimlessamersRyseRiceCole
    WhosTheresa
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm not sure what's more rad: the fact that everything I own is covered in cat hair, or that my coat smells like burritos.

    • 173
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateStillMadMompuffinfinityNorCalBrattfellbehindJjkinky49JeffVintageBabe1212MoonHealing
    • 42
    • RETWEETS
    fellbehindJjkinky49Jeffsheilalastnameaveuaskewabhorrent_wifeOneFunnyMummyislandofapplesall_about_today
    GeneralEmmaLee
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    A friend told me that blind people can get seeing-eye PONIES.

    HOW DOES EVERY BLIND PERSON NOT HAVE A SEEING-EYE PONY??

    • 155
    • FAVS
    McInappropriatepuffinfinityJjkinky49JeffVintageBabe1212Vice_Queenrandomlawlesssheilalastnameaveuaskew
    • 49
    • RETWEETS
    Jjkinky49JeffrandomlawlesssheilalastnameMarianneACOTAStacyA600TheirneyFallsvioletfemme89BlondAmbitionTO
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I hate people who willfully opt to NOT use the revolving door. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THE REVOLVING DOOR!?

    • 152
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateStillMadMompuffinfinityfellbehindJjkinky49JeffVintageBabe1212Vice_Queensheilalastname
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    Jjkinky49JeffsheilalastnameStacyA600RyseRiceColeMatty_Glanvillerabbithole423sortealSunnySideUp1987
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm really tired of pretending I like everyone on Facebook.

    • 149
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateStillMadMomNorCalBrattfellbehindJjkinky49JeffOutOnTheMoorsVintageBabe1212Vice_Queen
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    Jjkinky49JeffOutOnTheMoorsjesskgosheilalastnameStarscreams77StacyA600rabbithole423soccerskiingmom
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm an adult, and I'll eat pistachios for dinner if I want to.

    Yes, JUST pistachios. And maybe whiskey.

    • 147
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateStillMadMomfellbehindJjkinky49JeffVintageBabe1212Vice_QueenYayGrrMySterDBwiddaDB
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    Jjkinky49JeffsnickuoussheilalastnameWebbPaganfingercaseytduncanRyseRiceColerabbithole423jenyb4
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Man, I really want to star my own tweets.

    THESE ARE GOOD TWEETS, PEOPLE. FREE TO ALL!

    • 117
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateStillMadMomfellbehindJjkinky49JeffVintageBabe1212DBwiddaDBsheilalastnameislandofapples
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    Jjkinky49JeffsheilalastnameislandofapplesNotYourSoulmate_theigirlrabbithole423sanityinabottleFortuitousPen
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Ticketmaster is having technical difficulties; Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets are not available online. Tens of fans are super-sad right now.

    • 114
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateNorCalBrattfellbehindJjkinky49JeffDBwiddaDBsheilalastnameCalhounMBTheRealBoiledEG
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    Jjkinky49JeffsheilalastnameMarianneACOTArabbithole423beezus_2BlondAmbitionTOFortuitousPenreddishunicorn
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    That moment when you're holding the remote for your car keys, pushing the button...and expecting the front door of your house to unlock.

    • 115
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateStillMadMomDBwiddaDBsheilalastnameTheRealBoiledEGMarianneACOTAcarrietini5dogstexas
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    sheilalastnamerabbithole423FortuitousPenJen_Up_____Phoebetate__GimpySunshine____Favstar500Favsrick335
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    My epitaph will read: "Was Generally Unenthused."

    • 73
    • FAVS
    Scotthobson1MissKerr87McInappropriatefellbehindTerryDeuelVice_Queenninjadinosaur1sheilalastname
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    Scotthobson1MissKerr87TerryDeuelVice_QueensheilalastnamesnickuousOneFunnyMummyRSF788
    _theigirl
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I should go back to the beginning of my timeline & start tweeting all the old tweets again. You weren't really paying attention back then...

    • 67
    • FAVS
    McInappropriaterichjohnStillMadMomNorCalBrattfellbehindsheilalastnameislandofapplesOtisPdQ
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    McInappropriateStillMadMomsheilalastnameislandofapplessnickuouscarrietini__iCE_CREAM__dearestarthur
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Advice I just gave a friend: "Burn the house down, dye your hair, start a new life in a new place."

    • 71
    • FAVS
    OohereshecomesMcInappropriatekey_ogNorCalBrattfellbehindMirandaAltonLiam_Smith1990sheilalastname
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    Eleigh1228bryismsNorCalBrattMirandaAltonsheilalastnameFeenohmenalRyseRiceColerabbithole423
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Someone on Facebook just said "Bud Light Platinum. Not bad..." which is the basically the same thing as saying "Suck it, Charles Darwin!"

    • 79
    • FAVS
    McInappropriatefellbehindsheilalastnamecarrietini__iCE_CREAM__psychogoddessshesananteater_theigirl
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    sheilalastname_theigirlrabbithole423vivalamoi448stacywawa1SupraNebula______Favstar500Favsuunnddeeaadd______
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Facebook sent me an email...to tell me about how Facebook will be sending me less email. #FacebookFAIL

    • 88
    • FAVS
    Vice_QueenDBwiddaDBninjadinosaur1Liam_Smith1990sheilalastnameMissKerr87islandofapplespsychogoddess
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    MirandaAltonsheilalastnameFavstar500FavsAlyssa_Jolie__ultracruz6cilliLove_Gunn________
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I could really go for some cupcakes and murder. Not necessarily in that order.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    McInappropriateStillMadMomOutOnTheMoorssheilalastnameVice_QueenMissKerr87carrietiniKatiCut
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    OutOnTheMoorssheilalastnameMissKerr87FortuitousPenrabbithole423MsMielAbeilleWhiteTrashGentNicholey23
@g4barry

@g4barry

Tall, blonde, bitter & jaded. Used to be thirty-something. Way better at social networking than your mom. Not as good at Candy Crush, though...