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  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Gift @g4barry Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 584
    • LIKES
    DebraMuffinHLMongooseUnderchildeJimboleemlexjmaddenHormonellajamben82__LoveFeli__
    • 275
    • RETWEETS
    The_MartiniGirlUnderchildednyanesh115AnkitTripathi5jamben82__GSHOK9__LMLMadnessIrishDonkey
    WhosTheresa
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I want to unfollow and block someone in real life. Is that still called "punching them in the face?"

    • 279
    • LIKES
    OtisPdQGretsie23GideonJaggedkibblesmithSaraESpiveydadpoolrpbees_wingzJohnLyonTweets
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    GideonJaggedSaraESpiveybreee03_JohnLyonTweets2mean4udauspolmanduhtoryTheMacstar
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Someone on Twitter who tweets only in Spanish starred one of my tweets. Gracias. But, no comprende.

    • 269
    • LIKES
    OtisPdQSaraESpiveykookiedelukeyLuvPugDebraMuffincalluptomeDe_ja_vu_who_Trxnxty
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    SaraESpiveykookiedelukeyNastinka007__yungnuggacedNorCalBrattLMLMadnessFavstar250Jjkinky49Jeff
    bourbonmelikey
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Gonna go home, make a turkey sandwich and ponder why not a single person on the bus thanked me for not murdering every last one of them.

    • 243
    • LIKES
    OtisPdQGretsie23GideonJaggedSaraESpiveysmallzBballzUnknown_JohnsonmarvelzombiekAlexSavva
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    GideonJaggedSaraESpiveysmallzBballzAlexSavva77StephanieG77AngieissoSerialFuckupNorCalBratt
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Advice my dad gave my vegetarian girlfriend tonight: "You should probably eat a steak once in a while, just to shock your system."

    • 215
    • LIKES
    OtisPdQGretsie23zorgodSaraESpiveyherefortheshadekookiedelukeyDebraMuffincalluptome
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    SaraESpiveykookiedelukeyDebraMuffinNorCalBrattbrokeMD__thejacquiohpb777ALadiesHeart
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Screw YOU, Words With Friends; "nookie" is a perfectly cromulent word.

    • 213
    • LIKES
    OtisPdQHazydavy1973zorgodSaraESpiveycalluptomeNorCalBrattJimboleemlexjmadden
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    SaraESpiveyNorCalBrattLMLMadnesshpb777JyllBrumteacher_poetJazzzzzminaALadiesHeart
    WhosTheresa
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm not sure what's more rad: the fact that everything I own is covered in cat hair, or that my coat smells like burritos.

    • 204
    • LIKES
    OtisPdQSaraESpiveykookiedelukeySolelyBdewdabartmanNo1TopHatFanboyDebraMuffincalluptome
    • 53
    • RETWEETS
    SaraESpiveykookiedelukeyleahlovescheezLuvPugNo1TopHatFanboyDebraMuffinNorCalBrattStarlight2112
    GeneralEmmaLee
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm really tired of pretending I like everyone on Facebook.

    • 188
    • LIKES
    OtisPdQOne_Big_CanuckGretsie23SaraESpiveykookiedelukeySolelyBSeanD1111Pip_Hurray
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    Average_AtBestSaraESpiveykookiedelukeySacrificiaLoverLuvPugDebraMuffinHLMongoosejawshwalla
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    A friend told me that blind people can get seeing-eye PONIES.

    HOW DOES EVERY BLIND PERSON NOT HAVE A SEEING-EYE PONY??

    • 180
    • LIKES
    OtisPdQGretsie23SaraESpiveykookiedelukeyLuvPugXOSchitzoleahlovescheezmickyblore
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    SaraESpiveykookiedelukeyXOSchitzoNo1TopHatFanboyDebraMuffinMc_WhiskersthejacquioJjkinky49Jeff
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I hate people who willfully opt to NOT use the revolving door. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THE REVOLVING DOOR!?

    • 170
    • LIKES
    notmargot663kookiedelukeymsbrintnDebraMuffincalluptomeJimboleemlexjmaddenHormonella
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    notmargot663kookiedelukeyminnie_in_pink7Mc_WhiskersJjkinky49Jeffsheilalastname__StacyA600RyseRiceCole
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm an adult, and I'll eat pistachios for dinner if I want to.

    Yes, JUST pistachios. And maybe whiskey.

    • 164
    • LIKES
    DebraMuffindreamsinchocolaJimboleemHormonellaStarlight2112TacoStamp1__Will4everMissUMc_Whiskers
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    dreamsinchocolaStarlight2112MustExpressohpb777Jjkinky49Jeffmoodschwing__sheilalastname__WebbPaganfinger
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    My epitaph will read: "Was Generally Unenthused."

    • 133
    • LIKES
    joseph870824Kwsmith01karenmolaji2003ETHANGADDYheyticketmanthejessbessJazzzzzminaVoiceofgarth
    • 60
    • RETWEETS
    Jazzzzzminalil_dead_girl_ohheyitszarakookiedelukeyHShep101616LaContentaVidaAnt_F3ltzschumoo
    _theigirl
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Man, I really want to star my own tweets.

    THESE ARE GOOD TWEETS, PEOPLE. FREE TO ALL!

    • 134
    • LIKES
    DebraMuffincalluptomeJimboleemlexjmaddenHormonellamoodschwing__TacoStamp1__Will4everMissU
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    Jjkinky49Jeffsheilalastname__islandofapplesNotYourSoulmate_theigirlrabbithole423sanityinabottleFortuitousPen
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    That moment when you're holding the remote for your car keys, pushing the button...and expecting the front door of your house to unlock.

    • 134
    • LIKES
    kookiedelukeycalluptomedreamsinchocolaJimboleemlexjmaddenHormonellamoodschwing__BrdnHatesYou
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    kookiedelukeyThe_MartiniGirldreamsinchocolaStarlight2112sheilalastname__rabbithole423FortuitousPenJen_Up_____
    Starlight2112
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Ticketmaster is having technical difficulties; Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets are not available online. Tens of fans are super-sad right now.

    • 126
    • LIKES
    calluptomeJimboleemlexjmaddenHormonellaTacoStamp1__Mc_Whiskersthejacquiohpb777
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    thejacquioJjkinky49Jeffsheilalastname__MarianneACOTA__rabbithole423beezus_2BlondAmbitionTOFortuitousPen
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Advice I just gave a friend: "Burn the house down, dye your hair, start a new life in a new place."

    • 94
    • LIKES
    calluptomestar_curlJimboleemMadlenSporlederdalykatherineAshantay_TomboyGlamlexjmadden
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    The_MartiniGirlTomboyGlamlexjmaddenmoodschwing__thejacquiowicce_podgeEleigh1228bryisms
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I should go back to the beginning of my timeline & start tweeting all the old tweets again. You weren't really paying attention back then...

    • 83
    • LIKES
    The_MartiniGirlJimboleemlexjmaddenHormonellaStarlight2112TacoStamp1__dreamsinchocolaDanKCharnley
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    Will4everMissUBluemoonbaby77McInappropriateStillMadMomsheilalastname__islandofapplesmoodschwing__carrietini
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I could really go for some cupcakes and murder. Not necessarily in that order.

    • 80
    • LIKES
    pulavan_15calluptomeLoveNLunchmeatmellowbear4NorCalBrattJimboleemlexjmaddenHormonella
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    pulavan_15calluptomeovek23shelbehraeraemoarcolorNorCalBrattMc_Whiskershpb777
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Someone on Facebook just said "Bud Light Platinum. Not bad..." which is the basically the same thing as saying "Suck it, Charles Darwin!"

    • 88
    • LIKES
    JimboleemlexjmaddenHormonellaDanKCharnleyWill4everMissUMc_Whiskersthejacquiohpb777
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    thejacquiosheilalastname___theigirlrabbithole423gone448__stacywawa1SupraNebula______Favstar500Favs__
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Facebook sent me an email...to tell me about how Facebook will be sending me less email. #FacebookFAIL

    • 96
    • LIKES
    JimboleemlexjmaddenHormonellaDanKCharnleyMc_Whiskersthejacquiohpb777wicce_podge
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    MirandaAltonsheilalastname__Favstar500Favs__Alyssa_Jolie__ChckEngineLightcilliLove_Gunn________
@g4barry

@g4barry

Tall, blonde, bitter & jaded. Used to be thirty-something. Way better at social networking than your mom. Not as good at Candy Crush, though...

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