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  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    STOP YELLING INTO YOUR CELLPHONE AND HOLDING IT LIKE A WALKIE-TALKIE. YOU'RE ON A BUS; NOT IN A WAR-ZONE.

    Also, it works just like a phone.

    • 371
    • FAVS
    Bamfurloughwaynesmith1971jerryd_usnEdHotnixMitch_My2CentsTobiwuhJoeyaucoinCodyMac1974
    • 176
    • RETWEETS
    Bamfurloughjerryd_usnMitch_My2CentsSDHeadTripimacountrypeach_LittleMsBossy_AnimemoonchildXtaylornicole23
    WhosTheresa
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Someone on Twitter who tweets only in Spanish starred one of my tweets. Gracias. But, no comprende.

    • 170
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTrip_LittleMsBossy_brrrainfreezeOreoSpeedwagon_I_AM_LARRY_Mpossibilysseliserose5lil_Leda
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    vudaloopossibilysseliserose5JJMagrorycanadasandrahero_ofthenightGanderGinGinGander
    bourbonmelikey
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I want to unfollow and block someone in real life. Is that still called "punching them in the face?"

    • 144
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTrip_MsCharisma_Sarahsmella_LittleMsBossy_RK910eliserose5hero_ofthenightLipLush1
    • 44
    • RETWEETS
    _LittleMsBossy_eliserose5Krazykatlady79bourbonmelikeyZingingCutiebarracuda330what_teach________Just_some_girl2
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Gonna go home, make a turkey sandwich and ponder why not a single person on the bus thanked me for not murdering every last one of them.

    • 153
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTripDJ_Major_Tom_MsCharisma_savage_wiener_LittleMsBossy_hero_ofthenightLipLush1speknyc
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    savage_wiener_LittleMsBossy_TnucTewbourbonmelikeywhat_teach________MistyHilleJust_some_girl2SnoopyJatt
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Advice my dad gave my vegetarian girlfriend tonight: "You should probably eat a steak once in a while, just to shock your system."

    • 137
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTripOhgoddessitsmeSmug_Lemurleadnotfolow_LittleMsBossy_LuvPugScrambledMceggshero_ofthenight
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    _LittleMsBossy_favstar_historyhero_ofthenightleechee420speknycveggierella______favstar1000favsSureshMKothari
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Screw YOU, Words With Friends; "nookie" is a perfectly cromulent word.

    • 133
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTripOhgoddessitsmemikeylikesit207BullpenBackpack_LittleMsBossy_BeerforBukowskiScrambledMceggshero_ofthenight
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    _LittleMsBossy_inluvwgaboyScrambledMceggshero_ofthenightfavstar_historywhat_teach________Just_some_girl2rorygneesmith
    WhosTheresa
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm not sure what's more rad: the fact that everything I own is covered in cat hair, or that my coat smells like burritos.

    • 126
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTripsavage_wiener_LittleMsBossy_hero_ofthenightLipLush1LuvPugcrazylikeanoxspeknyc
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    savage_wiener_LittleMsBossy_ArinLeeMorris_InsanelyNormal__favstar1000favssass_slingerThat1chk__________sarita7108
    GeneralEmmaLee
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I hate people who willfully opt to NOT use the revolving door. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THE REVOLVING DOOR!?

    • 118
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTripNicoleroxxuBullpenBackpack_LittleMsBossy_llvvzzIAmTheCrewGofillgmossii
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    _LittleMsBossy_gmossiiChloestyloLipLush1speknycbourbonmelikeyMattKonemannThe_MartiniGirl
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    A friend told me that blind people can get seeing-eye PONIES.

    HOW DOES EVERY BLIND PERSON NOT HAVE A SEEING-EYE PONY??

    • 109
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTripNicoleroxxu_MsCharisma__LittleMsBossy_llvvzzChloestylohero_ofthenightLipLush1
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    _LittleMsBossy_crazylikeanoxspeknycTnucTewbourbonmelikeyningellaLAM3domoJust_some_girl2
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm really tired of pretending I like everyone on Facebook.

    • 107
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTripScrambledMceggshero_ofthenightRobRabbMusicno1s_peekingLipLush1imallwritecomcrazylikeanox
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    hero_ofthenightLipLush1WaterLilyDreamscalluptomewildshadoThe_MartiniGirlKittenWrittenwhat_teach________
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm an adult, and I'll eat pistachios for dinner if I want to.

    Yes, JUST pistachios. And maybe whiskey.

    • 105
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTripllvvzzChloestylohero_ofthenightLipLush1speknyccalluptomeThe_MartiniGirl
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    supSexyMAMAwhat_teach________SnoopyJattLuckyLea13ginasays43dixie_lee_peasWhiskeyDickensGimpySunshine____
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Man, I really want to star my own tweets.

    THESE ARE GOOD TWEETS, PEOPLE. FREE TO ALL!

    • 89
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTriphero_ofthenighteborg01LipLush1speknycZingingCutiewhat_teach________ArinLeeMorris
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    SassyMcMelonsmatthewbrobbinsAgent_McDrinkyGlittermepink5____Favstar500Favsmutuallyobvious__GimpySunshine____allforandrea
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    That moment when you're holding the remote for your car keys, pushing the button...and expecting the front door of your house to unlock.

    • 84
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTriphero_ofthenightLipLush1The_MartiniGirlZingingCutiewhat_teach________ArinLeeMorrisLuckyLea13
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    GimpySunshine____Favstar500Favsrick335ohnoColeLoli_SugAlyssa_JolieMistekelwheresmystarr
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Ticketmaster is having technical difficulties; Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets are not available online. Tens of fans are super-sad right now.

    • 81
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTripllvvzzChloestylohero_ofthenightspeknycThe_MartiniGirlZingingCutiewhat_teach________
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    reddishunicornFavstar500FavsshrexxNeffexx2Tuna_LoverGimpySunshine____SarahR_82WaterLilyDreamsMatthew_Spicer
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Facebook sent me an email...to tell me about how Facebook will be sending me less email. #FacebookFAIL

    • 72
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTriphero_ofthenightLipLush1The_MartiniGirlZingingCutiewhat_teach________ArinLeeMorrisLuckyLea13
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsAlyssa_Jolieultracruz6cilliLove_Gunn________
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Someone on Facebook just said "Bud Light Platinum. Not bad..." which is the basically the same thing as saying "Suck it, Charles Darwin!"

    • 62
    • FAVS
    SDHeadTriphero_ofthenightThe_MartiniGirlZingingCutiewhat_teach________ArinLeeMorrisLuckyLea13SupraNebula______
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    SupraNebula______Favstar500Favsuunnddeeaadd______meagomyeggoLiquidTangent____KingPatrick24StollsKoalaedsouth
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Advice I just gave a friend: "Burn the house down, dye your hair, start a new life in a new place."

    • 41
    • FAVS
    hero_ofthenightLipLush1speknycchristinawilderSolelyBlacrossemom5Le_Gitan_76TwistedCrazzy
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    speknycchristinawilderTwistedCrazzybourbonmelikeytrumpthechumpheartofpoutineSleeplessNTulsa__mama_dealer______
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    My epitaph will read: "Was Generally Unenthused."

    • 41
    • FAVS
    ScrambledMceggshero_ofthenightNicoleroxxueborg01LipLush1AnAbsurdBirdKrazykatlady79speknyc
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    hero_ofthenighteborg01Krazykatlady79HEYjordanneZingingCutieLikeALymphNodedanceflosillyfaith_no_pants____
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I could really go for some cupcakes and murder. Not necessarily in that order.

    • 34
    • FAVS
    llvvzzChloestylohero_ofthenightLipLush1CityNutsackTheDateGirlbourbonmelikeyBeaFilth
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    speknycdavedauphineeHulaBabeeLittleHarmonicaSnoopyJattlexxx142AnitaAlibiLuckyLea13
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I should go back to the beginning of my timeline & start tweeting all the old tweets again. You weren't really paying attention back then...

    • 31
    • FAVS
    llvvzzChloestylohero_ofthenightNicoleroxxueborg01ScrambledMceggswicce_podgeLipLush1
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    BassheadJaywicce_podgeLipLush1FeenohmenalJestersDead74ZaynabHashem2awomanwithwantsCaboome_Ebook
@g4barry

@g4barry

Tall, blonde, bitter & jaded. Used to be thirty-something. Way better at social networking than your mom. Not as good at Candy Crush, though...