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  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    STOP YELLING INTO YOUR CELLPHONE AND HOLDING IT LIKE A WALKIE-TALKIE. YOU'RE ON A BUS; NOT IN A WAR-ZONE.

    Also, it works just like a phone.

    • 441
    • FAVS
    PORNOPINIONMsMielAbeilleRachelZamstein1gaynorlsimpsonMassa_problemXclairemckXozzyuncjologz
    • 206
    • RETWEETS
    gaynorlsimpsonXclairemckXozzyuncSunnySideUp1987AndLive2LoveKori_Okieasanders1972mc_funbags
    WhosTheresa
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Someone on Twitter who tweets only in Spanish starred one of my tweets. Gracias. But, no comprende.

    • 205
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeillegaynorlsimpsonXclairemckXSunnySideUp1987ChamitaRunner12GreekFraudVOL1212ohmyadder
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    gaynorlsimpsonSunnySideUp1987VOL1212SkullfuckTNeuronicismwhiskeypenis__buckweiser13DBwiddaDB
    bourbonmelikey
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I want to unfollow and block someone in real life. Is that still called "punching them in the face?"

    • 182
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeille_keels_jjgrapegaynorlsimpsonXclairemckXRB_Rishwon_hndrdSunnySideUp1987
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    _keels_gaynorlsimpsonXclairemckXSunnySideUp1987VOL1212Kori_Okieliv_ec_atkAng3L82
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Gonna go home, make a turkey sandwich and ponder why not a single person on the bus thanked me for not murdering every last one of them.

    • 178
    • FAVS
    AnitaHelmetMsMielAbeillejenyb4_keels_gaynorlsimpsonXclairemckXSunnySideUp1987TSnider1136
    • 42
    • RETWEETS
    jenyb4_keels_gaynorlsimpsonXclairemckX160booksSunnySideUp1987TSnider1136eliserose5
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Advice my dad gave my vegetarian girlfriend tonight: "You should probably eat a steak once in a while, just to shock your system."

    • 162
    • FAVS
    PORNOPINIONMsMielAbeille_keels_gaynorlsimpsonMassa_problemXclairemckXSunnySideUp1987VOL1212
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    gaynorlsimpsonXclairemckXSunnySideUp1987Qckhdstacywawa1whiskeypenis__FortuitousPen_LittleMsBossy___
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Screw YOU, Words With Friends; "nookie" is a perfectly cromulent word.

    • 157
    • FAVS
    AnitaHelmetMsMielAbeilleepoch214jenyb4_keels_TheSuzieHuntergaynorlsimpsonMassa_problem
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    jenyb4_keels_gaynorlsimpsonSunnySideUp1987stacywawa1whiskeypenis__thistletat13rachel_uncommon
    WhosTheresa
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm not sure what's more rad: the fact that everything I own is covered in cat hair, or that my coat smells like burritos.

    • 143
    • FAVS
    AnitaHelmetMsMielAbeillejenyb4_keels_thatgirlMOSunnySideUp1987vivalamoi448asanders1972
    • 30
    • RETWEETS
    jenyb4_keels_SunnySideUp1987asanders1972stacywawa1FortuitousPenconcretesledge_savage_wiener
    GeneralEmmaLee
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    A friend told me that blind people can get seeing-eye PONIES.

    HOW DOES EVERY BLIND PERSON NOT HAVE A SEEING-EYE PONY??

    • 132
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeille_keels_sortealAsterSkinaSunnySideUp1987Ang3L82vivalamoi448BlondAmbitionTO
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    SunnySideUp1987stacywawa1thistletat13FortuitousPenconcretesledge_Jen_Up_____Phoebetate___LittleMsBossy___
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I hate people who willfully opt to NOT use the revolving door. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THE REVOLVING DOOR!?

    • 134
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeille1locoloverGTsortealthatgirlMOSunnySideUp1987vivalamoi448419BillEQckhd
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    sortealSunnySideUp1987Qckhdstacywawa1FortuitousPen_LittleMsBossy___gmossiiChloestylo
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm really tired of pretending I like everyone on Facebook.

    • 124
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeille_keels_Ang3L82vivalamoi448stacywawa1ispypandathistletat13FortuitousPen
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    feckitalltohellstacywawa1daneisha_hodgesBuh_BitchesJen_Up_____Phoebetate__hero_ofthenightLipLush1
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm an adult, and I'll eat pistachios for dinner if I want to.

    Yes, JUST pistachios. And maybe whiskey.

    • 122
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeillejenyb4_keels_Ang3L82vivalamoi448khawk_9lisaandtotsasanders1972
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    jenyb4_keels_asanders1972stacywawa1FortuitousPensupSexyMAMAwhat_teach________SnoopyJatt
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Man, I really want to star my own tweets.

    THESE ARE GOOD TWEETS, PEOPLE. FREE TO ALL!

    • 98
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeilleAng3L82vivalamoi448419BillEstacywawa1thistletat13FortuitousPenconcretesledge_
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    FortuitousPenSassyMcMelonsmatthewbrobbinsAgent_McDrinky____Glittermepink5____Favstar500Favsmutuallyobvious__GimpySunshine____
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    That moment when you're holding the remote for your car keys, pushing the button...and expecting the front door of your house to unlock.

    • 100
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeilleAng3L82vivalamoi448BlondAmbitionTO419BillEthistletat13fit1annyNarcissusMaxmus
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    FortuitousPenJen_Up_____Phoebetate__GimpySunshine____Favstar500Favsrick335ohnoColeLoli_Sug
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Ticketmaster is having technical difficulties; Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets are not available online. Tens of fans are super-sad right now.

    • 95
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeille_keels_FuzzyPimpleAng3L82sweetg35SassyTexasGalvivalamoi448that_guy9
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    BlondAmbitionTOFortuitousPenreddishunicornFavstar500FavsshrexxNeffexx2Tuna_LoverGimpySunshine____SarahR_82
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Facebook sent me an email...to tell me about how Facebook will be sending me less email. #FacebookFAIL

    • 79
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeillevivalamoi448BlondAmbitionTOstacywawa1thistletat13concretesledge_Phoebetate__SDHeadTrip
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Favstar500FavsAlyssa_Jolieultracruz6cilliLove_Gunn________
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Someone on Facebook just said "Bud Light Platinum. Not bad..." which is the basically the same thing as saying "Suck it, Charles Darwin!"

    • 69
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeillevivalamoi448BlondAmbitionTOstacywawa1thistletat13concretesledge_Phoebetate__SDHeadTrip
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    vivalamoi448stacywawa1SupraNebula______Favstar500Favsuunnddeeaadd______meagomyeggoLiquidTangent____KingPatrick24
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Advice I just gave a friend: "Burn the house down, dye your hair, start a new life in a new place."

    • 53
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeillevivalamoi448BlondAmbitionTOcalvoquinnRoseEdmundsFortuitousPenstacywawa1ispypanda
    • 21
    • RETWEETS
    GamingAngelAshFortuitousPenthistletat13speknycchristinawilderTwistedCrazzybourbonmelikeytrumpthechump
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    My epitaph will read: "Was Generally Unenthused."

    • 51
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeillevivalamoi448FortuitousPenPYL067stacywawa1ispypandathistletat13concretesledge_
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    FortuitousPenstacywawa1Phoebetate__hero_ofthenighteborg01Krazykatlady79HEYjordanneZingingCutie
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I could really go for some cupcakes and murder. Not necessarily in that order.

    • 46
    • FAVS
    NarcissusMaxmusMsMielAbeillebadfaemandilee43Nicholey23BlackCheesePieBeckHomecvivalamoi448
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    MsMielAbeilleWhiteTrashGentNicholey23vivalamoi448KittyShittyyspeknycdavedauphineeHulaBabee
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I should go back to the beginning of my timeline & start tweeting all the old tweets again. You weren't really paying attention back then...

    • 41
    • FAVS
    MsMielAbeillevivalamoi448BlondAmbitionTOFortuitousPentindermomstacywawa1thistletat13concretesledge_
    • 19
    • RETWEETS
    vivalamoi448stacywawa1Phoebetate__BassheadJaywicce_podgeLipLush1FeenohmenalJestersDead74
@g4barry

@g4barry

Tall, blonde, bitter & jaded. Used to be thirty-something. Way better at social networking than your mom. Not as good at Candy Crush, though...