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  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    STOP YELLING INTO YOUR CELLPHONE AND HOLDING IT LIKE A WALKIE-TALKIE. YOU'RE ON A BUS; NOT IN A WAR-ZONE.

    Also, it works just like a phone.

    • 581
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellajamben82LoveFeliColleenOdwyerdirtysdocandyfwhite
    • 273
    • RETWEETS
    dnyanesh115AnkitTripathi5jamben82GSHOK9LMLMadnessIrishDonkeyleafsmantyp0negative
    WhosTheresa
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I want to unfollow and block someone in real life. Is that still called "punching them in the face?"

    • 260
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMfabulessicaHormonellagmossiiMike666MitchellSayhikristyjamisondg1
    • 95
    • RETWEETS
    Mike666MitchellSayhikristyLMLMadnessIrishDonkeyFavstar250__minnie_in_pink7Mc_WhiskersBluemoonbaby77
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Someone on Twitter who tweets only in Spanish starred one of my tweets. Gracias. But, no comprende.

    • 257
    • FAVS
    LjayHAMdreamthievinHormonellaIrishDonkeyTacoStamp1Pee_And_GigglesMc_Whiskersthejacquio
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    LMLMadnessFavstar250__Jjkinky49JeffOutOnTheMoorssheilalastname__aimlessamersshesananteaterHow_Hardy
    bourbonmelikey
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Gonna go home, make a turkey sandwich and ponder why not a single person on the bus thanked me for not murdering every last one of them.

    • 228
    • FAVS
    The_MartiniGirlRichardProctorbluntretweetsThatsTheTitsJuliusCarvelmoodtoothdreamsinchocolaJimboleem
    • 59
    • RETWEETS
    ThatsTheTitsJuliusCarvelmoodtoothdreamsinchocolaLMLMadnessJazzzzzminaStillMadMomJjkinky49Jeff
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Screw YOU, Words With Friends; "nookie" is a perfectly cromulent word.

    • 207
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellaTacoStamp1Pee_And_GigglesMc_WhiskersBluemoonbaby77thejacquio
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    LMLMadnesshpb777JyllBrumpurplebylineJazzzzzminaALadiesHeartJjkinky49JeffOrWasIt
    WhosTheresa
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Advice my dad gave my vegetarian girlfriend tonight: "You should probably eat a steak once in a while, just to shock your system."

    • 206
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellaTacoStamp1Pee_And_GigglesMc_Whiskersthejacquiohpb777
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    brokeMDthejacquiohpb777ALadiesHeartJjkinky49Jeffsheilalastname__TRBLmakerJBSNotYourSoulmate
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm not sure what's more rad: the fact that everything I own is covered in cat hair, or that my coat smells like burritos.

    • 196
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellamoodschwing__One_FineMessStarlight2112TacoStamp1JDoody523
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    Starlight2112Mc_Whiskershpb777JazzzzzminafellbehindJjkinky49Jeffsheilalastname__aveuaskew
    GeneralEmmaLee
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    A friend told me that blind people can get seeing-eye PONIES.

    HOW DOES EVERY BLIND PERSON NOT HAVE A SEEING-EYE PONY??

    • 169
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellamoodschwing__TacoStamp1axenbaneMc_Whiskersthejacquio
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    Mc_WhiskersthejacquioJjkinky49Jeffrandomlawlesssheilalastname__MarianneACOTAStacyA600TheirneyFalls
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm really tired of pretending I like everyone on Facebook.

    • 166
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellamoodschwing__TacoStamp1Pee_And_Gigglesminnie_in_pink7axenbane
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    Mc_WhiskersthejacquioJjkinky49JeffOutOnTheMoorsjesskgo__sheilalastname__Starscreams77StacyA600
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I hate people who willfully opt to NOT use the revolving door. WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THE REVOLVING DOOR!?

    • 165
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellamoodschwing__TacoStamp1minnie_in_pink7axenbaneMc_Whiskers
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    minnie_in_pink7Mc_WhiskersJjkinky49Jeffsheilalastname__StacyA600RyseRiceColematty221brabbithole423
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I'm an adult, and I'll eat pistachios for dinner if I want to.

    Yes, JUST pistachios. And maybe whiskey.

    • 163
    • FAVS
    dreamsinchocolaJimboleemHormonellaStarlight2112TacoStamp1Pee_And_GigglesMc_WhiskersBluemoonbaby77
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    dreamsinchocolaStarlight2112AsaFerreira93hpb777Jjkinky49Jeffmoodschwing__sheilalastname__WebbPaganfinger
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Man, I really want to star my own tweets.

    THESE ARE GOOD TWEETS, PEOPLE. FREE TO ALL!

    • 132
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellamoodschwing__TacoStamp1Pee_And_GigglesMc_WhiskersBluemoonbaby77
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    Jjkinky49Jeffsheilalastname__islandofapplesNotYourSoulmate_theigirlrabbithole423sanityinabottleFortuitousPen
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    That moment when you're holding the remote for your car keys, pushing the button...and expecting the front door of your house to unlock.

    • 132
    • FAVS
    dreamsinchocolaJimboleemLjayHAMHormonellamoodschwing__BrdnHatesYouStarlight2112TacoStamp1
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    dreamsinchocolaStarlight2112sheilalastname__rabbithole423FortuitousPenJen_Up_____Phoebetate__GimpySunshine____
    Starlight2112
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Ticketmaster is having technical difficulties; Red Hot Chili Peppers tickets are not available online. Tens of fans are super-sad right now.

    • 125
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellaTacoStamp1Mc_Whiskersthejacquiohpb777wicce_podge
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    thejacquioJjkinky49Jeffsheilalastname__MarianneACOTArabbithole423beezus_2BlondAmbitionTOFortuitousPen
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    My epitaph will read: "Was Generally Unenthused."

    • 92
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellaStarlight2112TacoStamp1DanKCharnleyPee_And_Gigglesaxenbane
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    Mc_WhiskersWorldofWidCityNutsackhpb777wicce_podgeScotthobson1MissKerr87TerryDeuel
    _theigirl
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Advice I just gave a friend: "Burn the house down, dye your hair, start a new life in a new place."

    • 93
    • FAVS
    star_curlJimboleemMadlenSporlederdalykatherineShantiiTomblinTomboyGlamLjayHAMHormonella
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    The_MartiniGirlTomboyGlamLjayHAMmoodschwing__thejacquiowicce_podgeEleigh1228bryisms
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I should go back to the beginning of my timeline & start tweeting all the old tweets again. You weren't really paying attention back then...

    • 83
    • FAVS
    The_MartiniGirlJimboleemLjayHAMHormonellaStarlight2112TacoStamp1dreamsinchocolaDanKCharnley
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    Pee_And_GigglesBluemoonbaby77McInappropriateStillMadMomsheilalastname__islandofapplesmoodschwing__carrietini
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Someone on Facebook just said "Bud Light Platinum. Not bad..." which is the basically the same thing as saying "Suck it, Charles Darwin!"

    • 88
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellaDanKCharnleyPee_And_GigglesMc_Whiskersthejacquiohpb777
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    thejacquiosheilalastname___theigirlrabbithole423gone448__stacywawa1SupraNebula______Favstar500Favs
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    I could really go for some cupcakes and murder. Not necessarily in that order.

    • 75
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellaStarlight2112TacoStamp1DanKCharnleyPee_And_Gigglesaxenbane
    • 29
    • RETWEETS
    Mc_Whiskershpb777OutOnTheMoorssheilalastname__MissKerr87FortuitousPenrabbithole423MsMielAbeille
  • g4barry
      Barry G. @g4barry

    Facebook sent me an email...to tell me about how Facebook will be sending me less email. #FacebookFAIL

    • 96
    • FAVS
    JimboleemLjayHAMHormonellaDanKCharnleyMc_Whiskersthejacquiohpb777wicce_podge
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    MirandaAltonsheilalastname__Favstar500FavsAlyssa_Jolie__ChckEngineLightcilliLove_Gunn________
@g4barry

@g4barry

Tall, blonde, bitter & jaded. Used to be thirty-something. Way better at social networking than your mom. Not as good at Candy Crush, though...

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