I envy the people who forget about me, because I wish I could too.

I make a surprising number of bad decisions for such an indecisive person.

If someone wrote a song about you, the lyrics wouldn't rhyme.

In a perfect world people would send me beautiful handwritten notes apologising for inconveniencing me with their existence.

My fascination with you is of the morbid variety.

I've given it a lot of thought, and I could never be with someone who can't spell Wookiee.

I appreciate a DM that points out how passive-aggressive I am, because everyone enjoys their efforts being recognised.

You're the Lou Reed to my John Cale.

Nervous breakdown for one, please.

I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems

The problem with confidence is that some people shouldn't have it.

Nervous breakdown for two, please. I have a friend joining me.

I’d like people more if they came with a side of fries.

I'm @midgetspar. Do I look taller? I feel taller. pic.twitter.com/NIQLeOwFZj

When is decency going to be cool again?

My mind is both my home and my prison.

I don't blame other people for decisions I make, because I have a mind and a voice and I'm over the age of 7.

Though it scares me, darkness is an old companion and we know each other well.

I don't run away from my problems. That's immature. I ignore them.

I would go on a murderous rampage, but I just don't have the energy, you know?