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If you cut your pizza up into small pieces you can use it as a topping for your other pizza.
Damn girl are you sitting on an F5 key cos that ass is refreshing.
This article is titled “How to get Jessica Biel’s body” but it’s just a bunch of health tips and nothing at all about kidnapping.
Ice cream cake is literally CAKE made of ICE CREAM so why is war even a thing.
What idiot named them rap battles instead of diss appointments.
*arrives at starbucks date 15 mins late with starbucks*
"Cut me some slack." - guy who eats pants lol
The war on drugs starts now *staff sergeant gives each of his soldiers a hit of LSD* this is gonna be rad as fuck haha alright let's go.
Hey there Delilah what's it like in New York City, I'm a thousand miles away ｂｕｔ ＳＡＴＡＮ Ｓ Ｅ Ｎ Ｄ Ｓ Ｈ Ｉ Ｓ Ｒ Ｅ Ｇ Ａ Ｒ Ｄ Ｓ
Do you take Kim to be your AWFULLY wedded wife? *Kanye giggles at the clever line he wrote. He turns & winks at his best man, a mirror.*
Daft Punk remove their helmets to reveal they are both Kanye West.
WHY HAS THE COST OF BALLOONS INCREASED OVER THE LAST 50 YEARS??
i hope everybody is gavin a good week
Welcome to the mafia! This is your mentor John he will show you the ropes. [takes you out back & the mafia are playing jump rope & giggling]
The detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was. It was a brief case.
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA. COLD SINGLES IN YOUR AREA. A LOT OF EXTREME WEATHER IN YOUR AREA LATELY.
John Cena is in tears, breaking the terrible news to his now blind wife. Holding her. "You can't see me," John cries. "You can't see me..."