@girltomom Not even gunna read your tweets before following. Your boobs-motorboat-fantasy football tweet was enough!

.@dccommonsense “@nurse_mcdrinky: Senators should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so that we can identify their Corporate Sponsors.”

Whoa! You're telling me that "binge" is a real word? All this time I thought "bingo drinking" was hella dangerous.


Inspired by @kelkulus

@kelkulus2 You always find the good ones! (e.g. @lookwhoslaughin)

OMG! Like, totes go with your face making a face in mirror! @amberdonn Can't decide what to post on Instagram

If I see 1 more X-Factor commercial on Hulu, I'm officially going to start questioning my sexuality. It's @amberdonn's fault.

@sarcasticrylie Unfortunately, you overestimate us. Most Americans don't even know Holland is in Europe.

@amberdonn At least she doesn't sound like two crying women phone shopping. #PleaseGodMakeItStop

@amberdonn I second the motion. Also calling for inflicted pain to Hulu peeps for playing it constantly.

Glitter easier to wash off than lice. @kelkulus Maybe if u took off your clothes and danced for me you'd get more dollars, homeless people

@teapartycat The rich-people-tax-cut jabs are losing their humor. #ConstructiveCriticism #NewMaterial

Hey @sharkiefiner #FF @buck4itt @petey_e @amberdonn @tamytoo2 @beerbatterbeard @makeup_sex @sarcasticrylie @ohwonka @kelkulus @capricecrane

@amberdonn Your bar must be as classy as your tweets. #DrippingSarcasm

I've been to Thailand, too: Warm bath water + 3 cups of bleach @amberdonn I live in Maryland!! We have crabs here!!! (both of us)

Seat being glued up RT @jordyhamrick 42 women a year drown in the toilet because their spouse forgets to put the seat back down.

Now my fantasy football team slogan. Awesome! @imapotato threesome-twosome-handsome