STOP LEAVING

"We got two honkies out there dressed like Hasidic diamond merchants." #Thanks #Laptop cc @sprsquish @dan_aykroyd @hob http://t.co/vZEycQxy

@iano drink'n with a buddy. Cc @lukester http://t.co/uitMKAO1

So proud of what bootstrap has become! "@twitteross: what's new in @twbootstrap 2.1 by @mdo @fat #bootstrap1yr http://t.co/a76DtXZY"

$20 says @lukester is drunk

[phone rings]
'hello?'
Hi there this is Google, ummm... yeah you broke us. Can you please stop?
#BadgeOfHonor cc: @xc

File under gifts that will get you shot by a parent. http://t.co/1yf5IaNM

My wife picked up a copy of @battlefield for me. She didn't know I already got a copy (of course). Bad communication. Awesome marriage. #BF3

A dog snuck up from behind me on bart and started licking my arm. The range of things my mind thought it could be was frighteningly broad.

Kiss cam @ Giants game: camera focus, she ducks to hide, everyone in the stadium thinks she decided on a BJ instead, and the crowd goes wild

http://t.co/fDP5KYg Watch this video until 00:20. Pause it. Now, write down what you think will happen next. Then press play. #youarewrong

@nsallembien because man will DELETE #damnit

@episod blame yourself ;)

OH: Can I have an offsite at my house, but just not invite anyone?

@siggy_sf do you have a copy of splitf on a 3.5 floppy? #memories

@adams @isaach @rsarver @kevinweil @kurrik congrats! You're hired the sprint starts Monday.

It's going to be one of those nights. pic.twitter.com/5gaN5OMYGY

OH: "What's a Dan web?" cc @danwrong

@niels you mean exgf right?

@mccv the browns