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if david beckhamds child, harper seven, was born 15 minutes later she would’ve been called kworta eight.
roses are red. violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow. i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.
instead of getting periods can people just get a text once a month from mother nature saying “you’re not pregnant have a nice day”
My parents: Youre so beautiful & perfect, anyone would be lucky to have you
Everyone else: Wow I didnt know whales can live out of water lol
(youre) (a) (faggot)
for an ugly girl i have really high standards
↓ this person is a cunt.
why aren't i a skinny pretty rich chelsea girl god dammit i wanna walk my dog in heels and go for a coffee in a £500 coat
last christmas, i gave you my heart, the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died
I need money. And new clothes. And a pretty face. And long dirty blonde hair. And skinny legs.
it’s funny how i was the fastest sperm and now i barely move at all
Maybe vagina jokes are funny and i’m just ovary acting
I'm still relying on the theory i will get more attractive when i get older.
Personally feel Madagascar's flag bearer should have been Marty the Zebra singing DADADADADADADADA CIRCUS DADADADADADADADA AFRO
i got 99 problems and they’re all band members i have a crush on who don’t know i exist
Half a year ago you were one of my best friends and now you're just one of those pricks that forgot about me.
20 year old that doesnt do much except love band members and work with animals