I didn’t really mean for anyone to RT that. It was an ironic retweet request. Sorry for the confusion.

YOU'RE ROLLIN IN A PUG
GOTTA TURN THE DEEPS UP
GOTTA TURN THE DEEPS UP
GOTTA TURN THE DEEPS UP
DURUMU IN DA CLUB
BIG EYE ON US
BIG EYE ON US

Today in 1787, the Constitutional Convention met in Philadelphia. First on the agenda: killing whoever suggested meeting in Philadelphia.

Today in 1952, Robert Zemeckis was born. He directed the "Back To The Future" movies--WHY DON'T WE HAVE FUCKING HOVERBOARDS YET??!!1!one!

I might watch the Celebrity Apprentice if @pennjillette could make Donald Trump disappear. #magic

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN OF MONSTERS AND MEN AND THE LUMINEERS I HAVE NO IDEA

It can still be a date if you order Raisin Bran.

Quoting Princess Bride at Deadpool killing Dark Spider-Man, I've crossed into some impenetrable geeky black hole.

Spice World is actually flawless.

I’m thinking of all sorts of new Gordon Ramsay shows. “Room Nightmares,” where he yells at kids to clean their rooms.

Stop telling me these things. Just stop. RT @rebeccamherman: There were also 59 babies named Renesmee.

I believe meat is murder. And that vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer.

BRB let me go be so super shocked over SHIELD getting picked up. Or not. I've been excited for it but the pickup is just a formality.

Oh I get it. I scrolled back, @groupon is tweeting like a mom that doesn't really get the Internet. Well that's...insulting.

I'm getting verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves. I'll give you a topic: The @dailyblink is neither daily nor a blink. Discuss.

PSA: be sure not to AH purchase battle pets with a higher lvl than your highest pet (you can't learn them). #warcraft

The latest trope is overuse of the word trope.

I'm 46 years old. Think I'll parade around in Abercrombie & Fitch clothes 'til I permanently destroy any vestige of coolness they have left.

Great that Hulu now asks me which ad experience I prefer, but there's no option for "none, I pay a premium for this shit"

I have Instagrammed
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for tumblr