OCCULTIFY WALL STREET. skeletons everywhere, pentagrams on the sidewalk, people in wizard garb on the bus to work. casting all kinda spells

EarBud: They said a dog made completely out of ears couldn't play basketball... Until they met EarBud.

Next time someone starts talking to you about something you don't care about just say "Do you have any Xbox questions for me today?"

dj hacks! drop trance on your teenage audience. they'll be stumped trying to figure out what kind of dubstep it is.

the swimming pool is nice and deep but we're not really sure how deep, visibility drops off completely after a mile or so #surrealestate

rap game parappa the rapper okay that's the only rap game I can think of

so how well did the steam sale treat you guys? *talking to a bunch of ants on the sidewalk* cool well i'm gonna go play tf2 *walks into traf

coding in python is kind of like having effortless sex with your own ideas

The arrest is coming from INSIDE CNN

RICK SANTORUM IS IN DEBT FROM HIS CAMPAIGN AND IS NOW ASKING FOR HANDOUTS

utilities are absolutely included! water, electricity, gunpowder, animal bones, spiders, mist. yep, all included. #surrealestate

whoa Pendulum broke up, whoa Swedish House Mafia broke up, whoa Deadmau5 broke up and became 50 tiny mice scurrying everywhere

#TakingOverTwitter wow, gj twitter users. you took over twitter. now 100% of tweets are made by you, the twitter users. excellent

reminder that deadmau5's cat is verified on twitter

IT'S REAL  http://www.amazon.com/Now-Thats-What-Call-Shrek/dp/B0010XK96G …

boner? I hardly knew any funny jokes

holy shit i'm dying, it's a realistic hedgehog mod for sonic generations  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TnQVJWi1T4 …

@hell_homer teats by dre

"A storm is coming." Somehow, @hell_homer just knew. The East Coast wasn't safe. He packed his bags and got on the bus. #NaNoWriMoOpeners

@ahuj9 "God damn HIPSTERS" I mutter, watching the Antiques Road Show through my neighbor's window.