Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Dear men of the world. If she doesnt cum, you havent finished. Stop giving the rest of us a bad name. Thanks
Twitter = the area between your twat and your shitter
I retweet when I starfuck because I like It when people watch
Boobs are awesome. Please retweet. Spread the good word
I'm so gangsta I use my glue gun on its side
I wasn't masturbating, I was cleaning it and it went off!
Wait, some of you have friends in real life? Fuck! I did not expect that
Lets play Hide and Go Fuck Yourself
When someone twittercides I imagine a scene where they step outside their house and rub their eyes at the harsh sunlight
Grrr. Stupid emotions are stupid. Why must I care about people? Why?
I retweet because you're better than me at this
Whenever I see a serious tweet, I have to read It twice to make sure Its not one of you cunts being a dick
I've got 99 problems but calling women by derogatory names aint one
I'm out in the fresh air. I dont like it
My face doesnt move when I type "lol". I'm laughing on the inside. It's like I've had botox
Inside every old person theres a young person wondering what happened
If it looks, tastes or even vaguely reminds me of a vagina. I WILL stick my tongue In It
my wife just used the terms "dribbled down the side" and "get it hard". she's baking a cake. I just got a boner
Your face is the safest form of contraception
I thought about becoming a gigolo but Im not sure my clients would like a night of mcdonalds and poorly attempted anal
waiting for the zombie apocalypse to hurry up and get here