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Facial tattoos tell me that we're gonna want different things out of this marriage.
Just witnessed an elderly woman buying a value pack of enemas and a case of Budweiser...looks like someone's about to party.
More like "Be-GONE-ce"! Amirite, people with ears and eyes?
Anyone who uses the phrase "it's not who I am, it's what I do" has a parent who wishes their kid wasn't in porn.
It sounds like a bird sanctuary outside my window...if there was heavy traffic, three crying babies and a tamale cart in a bird sanctuary...
Me: how much do u charge to consult?
Him: about $3000
Me: wow! So what kind of advice do they get for $200?
Him: Try good...
doing archery today...just want to make sure that i'm supposed to where really big hoop earrings and a blindfold, right?
if you're not outraged, you're probably a well-adjusted person who gets along with a lot of people. #WheresThisBumperSticker?
Host of The Pretty Good Podcast, Comical scribe, Trivia(l) enthusiast, Hoarder.