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@trevso_electric "Be the change you want to see in the smile because it happened it was then that I carried you." #inspiration #blessed
Facial tattoos tell me that we're gonna want different things out of this marriage.
@jennyjohnsonhi5 ur my new hero. Way to let that POS shine a light on what a sick, sad jerkoff he is. #WasteOfSpace
Looks like a sci-if movie!! // “@mwm4444: This image of #Sandy hitting the Statue of Liberty blows me away. http://twitpic.com/b8mux7 ”
Just witnessed an elderly woman buying a value pack of enemas and a case of Budweiser...looks like someone's about to party.
Sometimes I worry that I'm 1 bad relationship away from becoming a #PrisonWife. #VDayThoughts
The beautiful and fiercely intelligent @anakasparian & I doing @theyoungturks show tonight! Thanks for inviting me! pic.twitter.com/xgSTfEbVU5
Me: how much do u charge to consult?
Him: about $3000
Me: wow! So what kind of advice do they get for $200?
Him: Try good...
"How bad is it? Like... CARNIVAL CRUISE bad??" - how I'm gonna gauge terrible things that happen to people from now on.
#ToiletOfTheSea
Anyone who uses the phrase "it's not who I am, it's what I do" has a parent who wishes their kid wasn't in porn.
if you're not outraged, you're probably a well-adjusted person who gets along with a lot of people. #WheresThisBumperSticker?
I declare that all good days be referred to as "Huey Lewis-es" from this day forth. #IfThisIsIt
It sounds like a bird sanctuary outside my window...if there was heavy traffic, three crying babies and a tamale cart in a bird sanctuary...
On the mend! Just a good old fashioned cold now! http://instagr.am/p/WPt5ZNByMJ/
Good night, lovely people. May we all be night-sweat / night-terror free this evening... http://instagr.am/p/VYSB5dByIF/
Famous people, please don't assume we all know who u are & write something coy and cryptic in ur bio. Not all of us know who u are.
Host of The Pretty Good Podcast, Comical scribe, Trivia(l) enthusiast, Hoarder.
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