What most girls worry about:
- weight
- hair
- boobs
- looks
- makeup
- him
- clothes
- why he didn't text back
- food

I basically have three hair styles:

- Straight
- Wavy
- Homeless

omg you called me a bitch I'm so offended I honestly did not know I was a bitch thank you for letting me know

I really need a hair cut but I don't want my hair to be any shorter than it is right now

*singing in the shower*
*simon cowell appears* “its a no from me”

I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view

yes 😒😔 pic.twitter.com/Y5SpgxDtNn

I HATE HOW MOVIES ARE SO UNREALISTIC MAKING THE PEOPLE WITH NO FRIENDS LOOK HOT LIKE NO HOW CAN YOU NOT HAVE FRIENDS WHEN YOU LOOK LIKE THAT

where can i download a flat stomach??

If justin bieber doesn’t have a teddy bear named justin biebear then what’s the point

Me: “Mom can I go out with friends”
Mom: “First vacuum, mop the floors, wash the dishes, do the laundry, clean your room, then you can go”

If someone ever did this for me 😍 pic.twitter.com/HKYGME9JgT

things i haven't learned in high school:

how to:

pay bills
buy a house
apply for college

but thank god i can graph a polynomial function

i think everyone thinks about becoming a prostitute at one point in their life

If Ariel from "The Little Mermaid" went to high school with us. This is what she would look like 😂  http://pic-image.com/disneyaD 

Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and you're not awake so its a win-win situation.

If👏 He👏 Has👏 A👏 Girl👏 Friend👏 Back👏 The👏 Hell 👏 Off 👏 And👏 If👏 She👏 Has👏 A👏 Boy👏 Friend👏 Back👏 The👏 Hell 👏 Off 👏

I’m guilty officer. You can arrest me now… or do whatever you want to me. pic.twitter.com/Z5Rkqq81uT

I don’t even have a sense of humor anymore it’s literally just sarcasm and general loathing for the majority of the human population.

did you know that bashing my music taste increases your chances of changing my opinion by 0%