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Sometimes I feel great about myself but then I look at Josh Peck's vine and realize I'll never be that cool
This Is The End was about a million times better than I thought it was going to be
My nipples have been hard for the past three hours is this what erectile dysfunction is like
I'm a third wheel about 68% of the time and I just don't know how to feel about it
Me because no one wanted to come over
Just drooled on myself. In other news, I'm still single.
I hope you choke in your sleep
I want a perfectly flat stomach but it's so hard when there's always pizza in the house
Rubber is absolutely the best movie I have ever seen
My favorite thing is when I sneeze right after putting mascara on
Notice how no one likes your pictures? It's because you're a cunt.
I really love watching girls pop their boyfriend's pimples. Really starts my day off right.
I was going to do my homework, but then I accidentally fell asleep for four hours
I actually look really good today so you distasteful heathens better appreciate it.
I think this school is giving me cancer
Lol, sorry but it's not like people aren't saying this stuff anyway.
No please, get a little closer. Your breath smells great.
And as I went to hell, the devil asked me if it was worth it. I said yes.