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I would like to see a dog jump to catch a frisbee but then the frisbee just keeps going with the dog attached and whirling around it.
My Powerball tickets bring all the boys to the yard and they're like: "Girl, start making those into confetti for your sad parade. Awright?"
Iconic "I Will Always Love You" Bodyguard scene but I'm Kevin Costner and a plate of chili cheese fries is Whitney Houston
Watched Into Darkness today, then, tonight, Back to the Future. Guess which one held up better.
Too blessed to be streSTOP HITTING YOUR SISTER
"By the time I become a good flirt, I'll be so old that it'll be gross."
That's crazy. You're really into craft beers and I'm really into not being talked to by you!
"My Name is URL" (new TV show about a sentient website)
Horse Racing but instead of horses and jockeys, just centaurs wearing jockey outfits.
German word for terrified waiting while a virulent stomach bug moves through your house?
Iron (Fe) has a cumberbatch of protons.
Vegetables are God's way of saying, "Kill some animals. They're delicious."
Your vengeance is more like Hollywood vengeance, and that means you will make a mistake, because I'm the good guy, and you have awful makeup
If you have live with tornados, brown recluses, black widow spiders, cottonmouths, rattlesnakes and fire ants then you get to say "y'all".
Hell is other people’s wifi passwords.
Step 1) Irritate people with petitions in Trader Joe's parking lots.
Step 2) ??
Step 3) Everything is great!
Which way to Maker Faire? Follow the bearded guy with the homemade arduino powered Google Glass and matching dress.
Saint-Saënsabelt slacks in various colors and sizes. Current avatar made with iMadeFace then SketchBook Mobile then Over then PhotoForge 2, all on iPhone 3GS.