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Twitter gives people such a false sense of importance n relevance. Know your place, understand your value, remember your lanes, show respect
Obama's speech writer is 27, Uhuru's is 22, mine will be 14 months. Ill be like ' Fellow Kenyans, gugu gaga abubububu...'
2011: Wacha mpango kando! Nugu!
2012: Ok. But mpango wa kando ni expensive
2013: Ok. Weka condom mpangoni at least
2014: Ok. At most, wanne?
Chics be like:
Me: Mayweather has won
Her: Ikr? This cold is just the one.
Iran: Want oil? Kenya: Yes! US: What did you say? Kenya: Yes-u ni mungu na ni bwana ( ._.)
Kabando Wa Kabando's great great great grandson will be called Kabando Wa Kabando Wa Kabando Wa Kabando Wa Kabando
In 2013 lets remember Beats By Dre are headphones, not neckphones.
Sexting spiders be like: I want to spread your 1st, 4th and 6th legs open girl
Stick to safe journalism like NTV's of reading tweets. The only danger you may face is a subaru...or being unfollowed
Pleasing a woman with both hands while standing and managing to keep your identity hiden. And they say men cant multitask
...20,000 acres in Bahati, 10,000 acres in Rumuruti, 40,000 acres in Endebbes, 100 acres in Karen and 1,000 acres in Dagorreti.
... 10,000 acres in Gatundu, 5,000 acres in Thika, 9,000 acres in Kasarani, and 10,000 acres in Naivasha, 52,000 acres in Nakuru...
October 1, 2004, The Standard, Kenyatta family land: 24,000 acres in Taveta, 50,000 acres in Taita, 29,000 acres in Kahawa Sukari...
Waititu's google browser history 'Digirii for firee ndaunload, Digirii ya bure, Kujipatia digirii bira kuthie thukuru...'
Web Designer, Webpreneur, Infographics guy. Arsenal. Jennifer Lawrence. Fanta. Laceless shoes. Coldplay, Next/Burton Clothing, Chicken, Fast bikes.