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  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    Got pulled over today and cop said "papers"

    So I said scissors

    I WIN!!

    • 1,088
    • FAVS
    greggie_BlueIvysBrotherBrendanMcKeigancatcervenyGreyKatherineAppStateBabeSkinnieTallsashlinwebster
    • 165
    • RETWEETS
    blood_targaryenLamzanakarongongkkkabueMsKibati_iNode_NBrendanMcKeigan2thestreetz__
    urbanprojectzGSouderdesignersays
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    Top 10 Things Men Know About Women:

    1. We have a vagìna
    2.
    3.
    4.
    5.
    6.
    7.
    8.
    9.
    10. Oh, & tits!

    • 641
    • FAVS
    BlueIvysBrotherbabyvenus111kecjohnstonGogol__KenyanRedhead_awesomekenyanshadowjewelss____GreyKatherine
    • 296
    • RETWEETS
    _iNode_NBlueIvysBrotherhottopic1_Barua___________AlistarGeorgeGogol__awesomekenyanCh__rlie
    GSouderCpez3824_7jokes________
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    If I could fly, I know who I'd shit on first.

    • 696
    • FAVS
    BritDvorakBadMikeyBadBeerforBukowskiCharmandBrainsdavid_tullBlueIvysBrotherBrendanMcKeiganMyHairyLife______
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    devinmcshanedavid_tullccdelrayBrendanMcKeiganobi_ian_kenobiwownderlustmackenziep_30kiebi
    Beerhaze
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    Stranger:"Your tag is sticking out"

    Me:"Does it say size 4?"

    Stranger:"Yes it does"

    Then don't touch it bitch,it's supposed to stick out

    • 676
    • FAVS
    BrendanMcKeiganICountBeanssMasterOfFuryHrBryobi_ian_kenobiCheers_Fuckfacellvvzzhaolegurl808
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    BrendanMcKeiganjrogasm__________wHiTeMeAt880______BlotterMonkeyNicoleSeminamsred1973ScottWozniaknattersss________
    designersaysBeerhaze
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    9 out of 10 men prefer women with big tits. The 10th guy prefers the other 9 guys.

    • 578
    • FAVS
    samdave69BlueIvysBrotherBrendanMcKeiganjjax44MasterOfFuryHrBryJuliimonsterAltaafM
    • 137
    • RETWEETS
    _iNode_NBlueIvysBrotherBrendanMcKeiganEsor_Yffe____bavlichhoriMaui_Speakschechuulinaaenzo0909
    Roadfilm__________thatstingscfishing
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    My gyno is so HOT-Last time I saw him, he told me I have to quit masturbating. I asked why and he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

    • 509
    • FAVS
    jjax44MasterOfFuryobi_ian_kenobiscriggzanthonynaccTheStoneyCrowSpenc_Armstrongjumpdashark
    • 41
    • RETWEETS
    jjax44jrogasm__________COOKlEFOREVERtime2muskup______paulysbunnyBmoreLikeNitaShortWhiteNUgly__purelysweets______
    lancevarnadoinmynewskin
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    China: 1.5 billion people. 2 haircuts.

    • 420
    • FAVS
    Whimsical84MasterOfFuryHrBryobi_ian_kenobiFSUStevejumpdasharkmichelle_angusBalsaWoodJaxon
    • 93
    • RETWEETS
    Whimsical84coachsalmondlazypodAgamemNOMNOMalanpfjillianlpnmaxcastetsBryce_Chandler
    TrainedHedonistMolly_Katstamytoo2SexyInsomniac
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    The judge asked the prostitute,"So when did you realize you were raped?" The prostitute replied, wiping her tears,"when the check bounced."

    • 457
    • FAVS
    BrendanMcKeiganICountBeanssMasterOfFuryHrBryobi_ian_kenobiscriggzjumpdashark_Prozach74________
    • 43
    • RETWEETS
    BrendanMcKeiganliftyourlifeShadeyBangsQuixxoterWolf_II__________Vvadaaa_SoSheTweets__UchiManeLaflare
    Roadfilm__________
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    Just filled up my car at BP station. Walked inside to pay and accidentally took a shit on their floor.

    • 432
    • FAVS
    Whimsical84obi_ian_kenobijumpdasharkmichelle_angusizombieiWuDaFucMeerkatMannersHannahAntics
    • 33
    • RETWEETS
    Whimsical84izombieijrogasm__________poptartsat2AM____coreywentworthKuman1OutOfTheBrewkennnyd____
    sha_suga__________ZippyBippy
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    You're the bomb.

    No, YOOOUU'RE the bomb.

    - Two Terrorists Complimenting Each Other

    • 367
    • FAVS
    Whimsical84jjax44HrBryobi_ian_kenobijumpdasharkHerPinkRibbons_wangwemichelle_angus
    • 62
    • RETWEETS
    _iNode_NWhimsical84PetrovvvClaytonWynn2032CynicalLongkatchasekauffmanMastrenninTudors2
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    Failed my biology class this semester. When asked what things are commonly found in cells..

    Apparently, Mexicans was not a correct answer

    • 403
    • FAVS
    obi_ian_kenobijumpdasharkizombieiWuDaFucMeerkatMannersblowmanticHannahAnticsok_get_serious
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    alanpfmostlynerdrZZvprempiyushivcdawgRneeErneNreejonniarmanisouradeepchatt____
    Roadfilm__________
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    She grasped me firmly.Her touch so experienced, so sure.Her hands moved up my thighs,I shuddered,closed my eyes & then I boarded my flight

    • 308
    • FAVS
    obi_ian_kenobirezsaysjumpdasharkmichelle_angusMeerkatMannersok_get_seriousHannahAnticsIanBHough
    • 95
    • RETWEETS
    ElectricNumberSpiderogersnarkanoidlaurensamsmithcrystalhayes917BreezusChristeGingieSnapxtinkshun
    TiraLiba
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    Grease is the word. No, mums the word. No, your Mum's the bird. Isn't the bird the word? Whatever, your Mom's a whore.

    • 365
    • FAVS
    obi_ian_kenobijumpdasharkmichelle_angusMeerkatMannersHannahAnticsok_get_serioushughdumassIMBeanz
    • 31
    • RETWEETS
    AshleySaturday123NDmiddleSmethespurofthingsjrogasm__________mjdxtulipgirl78squote666JimbobSoggyPant
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual."

    • 365
    • FAVS
    HrBryobi_ian_kenobigkoehlerTheFrenchMejumpdasharkmichelle_angusizombieiMeerkatManners
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    ivcdawgTed_Meier________enarginsabstracteFavstar500Favsfavstar1000favskesleighnoelle__YKnot
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    My safe word is *Legs*

    Spread the word.

    • 353
    • FAVS
    obi_ian_kenobijumpdasharkmichelle_angusMeerkatMannersHeiressIson______HannahAnticsCpez38ok_get_serious
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    _iNode_Nnaughtnotjmg707DaPrinzOfBelAir__HisTigerLily______AskArabellaRimuelFavstar500Favs
    Roadfilm__________
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    Twitter: We're all here because we're not all there

    • 349
    • FAVS
    Whimsical84obi_ian_kenobiCrowetoonsjumpdasharkmichelle_angusWuDaFucMeerkatMannersblowmantic
    • 24
    • RETWEETS
    Whimsical84CVTBabyCroweJampoppingrockskperformanceco____JohnThomas__Deb_glossyXianLoves
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    Happy Birthday America....

    Beacon of Freedom...

    Leader of The Free World...

    China's bitch.

    • 348
    • FAVS
    obi_ian_kenobijumpdasharkmichelle_angusMeerkatMannersHannahAnticsbulls_horns______ok_get_serioushughdumass
    • 16
    • RETWEETS
    jrogasm__________Pirate_Twinkievaporcoffinsouradeepchatt____M_WigglesWorth____DaPrinzOfBelAir__liketheTEAwesmodo______
    Maui_Speaks
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    If you have an erection lasting more than four hours...

    ....call me.

    • 337
    • FAVS
    HrBryobi_ian_kenobiscriggzrezsaysjumpdasharkmichelle_angusizombieiMeerkatManners
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    obi_ian_kenobiPirate_TwinkietyrantasorusJulesJuliettasouradeepchatt____LawSchoolBlonde__
    Roadfilm__________
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    Thinking about having my asshole bleached but just can't picture him as a blonde.

    • 315
    • FAVS
    obi_ian_kenobiscriggzrezsaysThisFreshMexjumpdasharkmichelle_angusMeerkatMannersmsred1973
    • 25
    • RETWEETS
    APaintedMindnaughtnotnightshiftejasonjordanDebilishMynx______M_WigglesWorth____Kelly_OConnorCokebear17
  • globetrottgirl
      suzanne @globetrottgirl

    Lisa Rinna's lips look like she swallowed a baboon but couldn't quite get the ass down.

    • 299
    • FAVS
    Whimsical84JvdgeMehButtjumpdasharkmichelle_angusMeerkatMannerstweetcomedianHannahAnticsbulls_horns______
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    Whimsical84suchgoodtweetslttlrprincessGringoGueyJordyHamrick______inmelsworld____favstar_popUNCLEMIKETWEETS
    JordyHamrick______diarrheaRobski_BoyWames_Jatersnirvana68________
@globetrottgirl

@globetrottgirl

Sweet & salty with a bit of bitter & a swish of sour. A captivating tangle of contradictions, longings, complexities, & gifts--just like you.