drunk me recommended them to sober me so i'll have to take his advice

i only have like 100 facebook friends and two in a row post something about gary johnson what the hell

i was drunk singing sophomore slump the other night so it's perfect timing

yall know you missed me from your timelines so i'mma tweet in overdrive today

i've been holding myself up to unrealistic expectations lately so i think "watch every bill murray this summer" is exactly the goal i need

thank god for like sloths and shit or else i'd be the laziest thing on the planet

Grant wants a mom in his bed

so @jniedermier182 doesn't like whoppers or paul shaffer, dunno if i can still be his uncle

i'm a 21 year old man sitting here listening to smash mouth and i couldn't be happier

so @jniedermier182 is sucking his nipples with a vacuum cleaner attachment, don't really know how to react with that

i always finally finished season 2 of parks and rec, good stuff

runnin down the road tryin to loosen my load got coleman francis on my mind

so excited for summer it hasn't been summer for like what, 6 years, right?

did my sister FOR REAL just text me saying she got fall out boy tickets?????? holy fuck fuck fuck fuck

july - bunbury with @jniedermier182 @v_willisill @niedermier @niedahmayah

this @mattmak30 / @angelastev10 back and forth is quite entertaining

TWEET NUMBER 16000 SHOUT OUT TO LISA "LEFT EYE" LOPES RIP WE LOVE AND MISS YOU

THIS HOUSE IS FALLING APART

i cannot live i can't breathe unless you do this with me

TWEET 13000 SHOUT OUT TO @v_willisill FOR FAVORITING ALL MY TWEETS AND SHOUT OUT TO @jniedermier182 BECAUSE HE ASKED ME TO