Lol at married couples who have a joint Facebook

@catpizzas I am watching your son Anne Hathaway in get smart. He is able to think quickly on his feet. You must be very proud

#chechmate

If Carolina wins, cue the "we beat y'all with a backup quarterback" comments

Aaron Murray's dad was diagnosed with cancer right before the USC game...some things are more important than football

Can't even check my Facebook feed on Saturdays because it's all gross Gamecock fans chirping about nothing

want a twitter called "the library" where i'd search the word 'yell' and then reply "SHHH THIS IS A LIBRARY!!" just for fun, im single

#awkward #MiddleSchoolMayhem

#whatwouldGatsbydo chill, party, chill

This snow better deliver

Sweatpants are all that fits me right now

Hour and a half til kickoff. Go Dawgs!! #dawgs #dawgs #georgia #dawgs

Hey maintenance staff....clean the arena with KG's tears tonight

Dubstep actually sucks a lot

actually so thankful i'm hot so i never have to work for anything in my life

sext: you lay me down by the fire and split me open like a log. with a machete, blood everywhere. we don't have sex

I'd maybe go down on a girl...that's what love is, right?

thanks for tagging me in that picture....i really need air jordan heels

Casual http://t.co/CSB9Rw4Y

"key & peele is headed for a second season" ---said no one