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i forgot to tweet this but today i heard this kid go 'we're such a dysfunctional family' to which his mother replied 'no you're just stupid'
Ordering from 'secret menus' in Singapore.
Me: hi can I get a mcgangbang or whatever the thing is
Person behind the counter: siao ah
Hey boy are U a bean curd seller cos I want to chi your dou fu
ITS JUNE WE'RE HALFWAY THROUGH THE YEAR I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED APPROXIMATELY ZERO
You can find me either sprawled out on the sofa or sprawled out on bed, it's either of those. That's it. That's my life.
The fault in our star... Is that the sun is really fucking hot and shit ok that's it
do a fish porno called koitus
TRULY BREAKING NEWS. SUCH CONCEPT PREVIOUSLY UNHEARD OF. ALERT WORLD PRESS – POLITICAL THEORY GENIUS AT WORK!!! https://twitter.com/stcom/status/692260001549783040 …
Omg my cousin misread Imelda Saad's name and called her impressive salad
Hang on need to go into panorama to take a dickpic
if/when I get a cat I'm naming it meow ze-dong
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