"We chose the name Qwikster because we found it under some couch cushions. Also, Fartster was taken."

free nightmares http://t.co/dAwQPOgB

Nothing else matters. #casket http://t.co/K7ZpIvdO

Are you a frontman who plays a tiny keyboard? Don't be. Get someone else to do that.

So remember, next time you go swimming in the ocean and you get some water up your nose: Osama bin Laden

My favorite part about being Morgan Freeman would be having Morgan Freeman narrate my life.

Tina Fey photobomb #AnimatedGIF http://t.co/8CfegPCf

nailed it.  http://twitpic.com/c96wf0 

THERE ARE DEGREES OF WHAT THE HELL AVRIL. DEGREES.

The fact is, I'm hungry for burritos, always have been, always will be.

pic.twitter.com/TPbj2Ah4

THE SOCIAL NETWORK is a very good movie about a website for moms!

My idea of hell is a never-ending meet the contestants segment of Jeopardy.

"This is my big sister, Meg." ~ Jack White

Conversation http://t.co/WvNEWWm6

I don't even know the charge but guilty. http://t.co/NgW4o1cZ

Fiona Apple always sounds like she's freezing. She lives in California, right? Put on a sweater, Fiona Apple!

Liz Lemon on Jeopardy Teen Tournament right now. http://t.co/PvL3mEpv

Fussy hipsters on House Hunters International. Fingers crossed that Hunting House Hunters International is up next.

Is there a Gael García Bernal clause in Diego Luna's contract? or the other way around?