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humans who help other humans are my favorite kind of humans.
My Uber driver wants me to read his screenplay. GOODMORNING LA.
My Uber driver calls to say he's here & out of habit, I end the call with: "ok bye. I love you". THIS RIDE ISN'T GONNA BE AWKWARD AT ALL.
PROTIP: Buy delicious chocolate chip cookies for office. Call them 'lactation cookies'. No one will touch them, so you can eat them allllll.
I'm wearing ck one cologne, so if you don't want acid flashbacks of your high school crush don't come near me.
is there medication for the anxiety i feel when my phone battery is below 30%?
"the wind came in from the outside and went into my buns and that's how a fart happens" - my 3 year old genius boy child
If you're happy and you know it clap your... Actually, keep it to yourself. No one cares.
RIDICULOUS DILLEMA: I love tuna salad, but only when it doesn't taste like fish.
i'm drinking water with chia seeds in it. so yes, being in my thirties is a REAL HOOT thank you very much.
if no one in the world has yet named their pet dog/cat/hamster 'scaramouche' then we should all be fired from life.
creative director, executive producer, and tea aficionado at @soulpancake.
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